daisyduchess Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I met this fellow on a bdsm website. I've never actually been involved in it, but always wanted to. He is promising to give me the time of my life. I am actually moving to the state he lives in next week; he is only like an hour away. We've talked for a while on the internet, (long while actually) and he seems like a trustworthy person. I mean, this is like a relationship kind of thing developing. Just came out of a situation that makes me hesitate in trusting people though. Should I go ahead and give him my phone # and invite him up?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Ask for D/D papers and make sure that when practicing bdsm he knows what he's doing. Are you a sub or dom?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Sub, and what are d/d papers? Drug and disease free. Basically you just need to make sure that he's STD free, because who knows what those dom guys have. And you should be wary of bdsm relationships. They're more sexual than anything else.
calazhage Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Sounds great. Meeting on a sex website. Sounds like a great start to a relationship. You already know you will have sex before you meet? What else would "I will show you the time of your life mean"? And I was being sarcastic about that being a great start.. Could you find anyone less trustworthy to meet? A guy from a sex site? You feel you are the only one he wants to meet?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Sounds great. Meeting on a sex website. Sounds like a great start to a relationship. You already know you will have sex before you meet? What else would "I will show you the time of your life mean"? And I was being sarcastic. Could you find anyone less trustworthy to meet? A guy from a sex site? You feel you are the only one? Different people have different fetish preference. No need to discriminate.
Author daisyduchess Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 It's more of a community kind of website.
calazhage Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 She said A. She is afraid to trust B. This is the start of a relationship. Forget the BDSM part. I don't care if they are having sex with animals, 20 people, or just regular sex. I am just saying that is not the best way to start a relationship. Meeting a guy from a sex site, and basically agreeing to have sex before you even meet.
Author daisyduchess Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 I just got thru with a guy who was into nothing but head games, never evolved into anything. Done with that. This fellow is for real though. Are d/d papers from what, a dr.?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I just got thru with a guy who was into nothing but head games, never evolved into anything. Done with that. This fellow is for real though. Are d/d papers from what, a dr.? They're test papers that prove he's disease free. For real being that he only wants to get into a sexual bdsm encounter with you. It does not mean he'll want a relationship and commitment. Maybe you need to reevaluate your priorities. Having sexual encounters are great if you can risk it, but consider what you're putting yourself into. Just be careful.
calazhage Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Bring STD test results and drug test results on a first date? lol This really sounds nuts. So you plan on having unprotected sex with him? Or any type of sex, and then think you are oi your way to a relationship? Once again, a guy from an internet fetish sex "community" that probably will bang anything that moves.
tkgirl Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I met this fellow on a bdsm website. I've never actually been involved in it, but always wanted to. He is promising to give me the time of my life. I am actually moving to the state he lives in next week; he is only like an hour away. We've talked for a while on the internet, (long while actually) and he seems like a trustworthy person. I mean, this is like a relationship kind of thing developing. Just came out of a situation that makes me hesitate in trusting people though. Should I go ahead and give him my phone # and invite him up? wow... maybe I'm getting too old or something, but this is CRAZY! you say you have trust issues but yet you want to meet up with a complete stranger... or you say you've done some communicating via the internet(yikes) but still... you are ready to give him your number and invite him over and WTF? the whole dom/sub thing?!!!! not what I'm into but I won't judge.. but don't you think that should be with someone you know AND TRUST already?! and then you say it's "like a relationship kind of thing developing" WTF???!!!! like I said, this is F-in' CRAZY!!!! and actually scary as h3LL! DON'T DO IT!!!
calazhage Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Tank thank you. Much better advice than just telling her to have the DOM bring STD results.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Bring STD test results and drug test results on a first date? lol This really sounds nuts. So you plan on having unprotected sex with him? Or any type of sex, and then think you are oi your way to a relationship? Once again, a guy from an internet fetish sex "community" that probably will bang anything that moves. That's usually how sexual encounters should occur. For safety reasons. They're most likely not going to have unprotected sex. Anybody would know better. BDSM is about sexual stimulation through the use of objects that entice and enhance the senses. It's about satisfying the senses as opposed to jumping into bed and going at it. And most BDSM encounters are hardly relationship. That's why they're encounters to begin with. You might never even see the other person again. And don't ask me how I know, I just do.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Duchess, is the site even legitimate? you should just join a in real life bdsm group as opposed to meeting random strangers online. We're talking about your safety here. If you have to fulfill your sexual needs, might as well do it safely as opposed to having a stranger go to your place.
tkgirl Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Tank thank you. Much better advice than just telling her to have the DOM bring STD results. LOL! was the thanks meant for me? shucks... DD...I'm starting to wonder if you are for real... I mean you said you "... just came out of a situation that makes me hesitate in trusting people though" and now you want to do this? If you don't have trust issues now, you definitely will! it's like you are trying to sabatoge yourself completely... I worry about you, seriously....
Author daisyduchess Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Ok, well I feel like I am getting to know him pretty well. We've talked, work, family, childhood. I thought when I gave him my number that we'd talk for a week or so, then I'd invite him up and we'd spend the weekend together. I don't feel like he is a complete stranger at all, but I can see what you are getting at. I mean, I think sometimes I can be too trusting but when I say this guy is for real, I mean we are really going to meet. Last one just played mind games for a long while and that was it.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Ok, well I feel like I am getting to know him pretty well. We've talked, work, family, childhood. I thought when I gave him my number that we'd talk for a week or so, then I'd invite him up and we'd spend the weekend together. I don't feel like he is a complete stranger at all, but I can see what you are getting at. I mean, I think sometimes I can be too trusting but when I say this guy is for real, I mean we are really going to meet. Last one just played mind games for a long while and that was it. That's good always start off slow. Don't just jump into an encounter until you're certain you can trust, not merely because you " feel" that he's real. Sometimes our instincts are wrong, and you want to be certain that if you're to get into a bdsm relationship with him, you understand him a little more. Sometimes a little patience goes a long way.
thegoodlife Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Well you said in a week you will be moving to his state? Start spending time with him in person after the move, just some hang outs to feel this guy out and build a friendship and trust from there. I don't suggest you two indulge in any BDSM activities just yet. In all honesty I think this is a terrible idea and a dangerous risk. And personally, I'd only be comfortable in engaging in BDSM with someone I was in a loving, trusting relationship with. That's still a big IF then too. But to each their own. Just be careful, please.
loveslife Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Why don't you just wait until you're in another relationship and then do it as sex play with the guy. I tried that stuff once, in a relationship. I don't think I'd want to do it with a stranger. It takes A LOT of trust. But that's me.
Author daisyduchess Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Well, I thought I was taking it slow, maybe not slow enough. Maybe ask him to stay in a hotel?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Well, I thought I was taking it slow, maybe not slow enough. Maybe ask him to stay in a hotel? No, then you'll just end up a hook up. Honestly what do you want from this guy? A relationship? A bdsm encounter? If it's a relationship, meet up several times for dinner and coffee before you proceed towards any sexual acts. If you're looking for a bdsm encounter, get D/D papers and after all the role play, don't expect him to talk to you again, unless you guys arrange for another sexual encounter.
Author daisyduchess Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Both, I guess! lol Got your point, many thanks for the advice! (hey if you guys don't hear from me again come over and look in my fridge )
Recommended Posts