bentnotbroken Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Oh C'mon - people on this post have not been giving advice they have been judging. OP don't tell your bf and if cousin squeaks deny deny deny When you are wrong, the battle cry is don't judge. Get over it. No one here judged her at all. She was told she was as wrong as her BF. If that isn't to your liking, maybe burying your head deeper into the sand will muffle the noise. Maybe you should ask her how betrayed she felt when he had sex with someone else, denied and lied. Did she want to know?
Author Lisagirly Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Maybe you should ask her how betrayed she felt when he had sex with someone else, denied and lied. Did she want to know? Angry, sad, and beyond humiliated. Most of my friend had great luck with their boyfriend (they weren't cheated on), one that was on long distance for 1 year say how he always waited all that time, working hard to make more money so he can move in with her. And what was I going to present? It wasn't the same when having a social gathering with my family, at least not with me. While they are all still unaware that he cheated, I had to not make it so obvious.
bentnotbroken Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I don't understand why you would do that to someone else feeling the way you did when it happened to you? And then not to be honest about it.
Author Lisagirly Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 So if you are going to keep your mouth shut about your cheating, then you have no business, or right, to harrass him about what he did if it hasn't happened again. Get that? drop it...leave him alone about it. I get your point. I believe that is what I meant in my previous posts when I explained why it made me feel better. I no longer find myself vent out like I would once in a while. I let it go already. No longer will I have to rub it in his face anymore. Now I feel I have forgiven him.
Author Lisagirly Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 I don't understand why you would do that to someone else feeling the way you did when it happened to you? And then not to be honest about it. I guess I got to carry away but now that I'm back to reality, I realized I did an elaborated plan for nothing. However, at times when you act out of anger you don't think in that instance. Come to think of it, there is a level of guilty running through me but that's something I will have to carry it within me and just not focus on that. Now I will only be focusing on the present and block our what I did, make believe it didn't happened.
bentnotbroken Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I get your point. I believe that is what I meant in my previous posts when I explained why it made me feel better. I no longer find myself vent out like I would once in a while. I let it go already. No longer will I have to rub it in his face anymore. Now I feel I have forgiven him. But he won't get the chance to forgive you. You do really know this is going to come back and bite you in the buttocks when you least expect it.
lkjh Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 you do see how cruel and selfish your thinking is right? You need to be honest with him. When you feel guilt there is a reason for it. Don't ignore your feelings, that got you into this mess in the first place
HsMomma Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I guess I got to carry away but now that I'm back to reality, I realized I did an elaborated plan for nothing. However, at times when you act out of anger you don't think in that instance. Come to think of it, there is a level of guilty running through me but that's something I will have to carry it within me and just not focus on that. Now I will only be focusing on the present and block our what I did, make believe it didn't happened. Again, I ask, Lisa, how old are you? If you are young, carrying this around with you for the rest of your life is a LONG, LONG time. I don't believe that playing 'ostrich' & burying your head is gonna work for you. And, you can't just 'make believe it didn't happen' - it DID happen. The question is, are you grown up enough to own up to what you've done, give him the chance to know what he's dealing with and deal with the fallout?
HsMomma Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Oh C'mon - people on this post have not been giving advice they have been judging. OP don't tell your bf and if cousin squeaks deny deny deny Tell me you were joking, Citizen! People have definitely tried to advise, but that's not what Lisa wants. And as for your advice, what a joke! Ever hear of honesty? Integrity?
Soul-Searcher Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 So you are punishing your BF for the exact same thing that you did intentionally to get revenge on him. Niiiiice. I honestly don't think the cousin will keep his mouth shut. If that is what you think, then you are more deluded than I thought. You and your BF really need to grow up.
Owl Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 But he won't get the chance to forgive you. This is the key that you're keep missing, LG. You did this, and now you can forgive him. But now HE has to live a lie thanks to YOUR choice to cheat. The only way to fix this is to balance out the scales TRULY...and give him the opportunity to forgive YOU in the same fashion that you chose now to forgive him. What's happened here is that you felt he had all the power...so you cheated...and now YOU have all the power. A TRUE relationship has shared power. By giving him the chance to forgive you, you even that balance back out.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Oh C'mon - people on this post have not been giving advice they have been judging. OP don't tell your bf and if cousin squeaks deny deny deny and you call THAT advice? to lie in a relationship? sorry, that isn't a relationship. If she chooses to keep her mouth shut, then she needs to leave him alone about what he did, unless it happens again. and if the cousin rats her out, she needs to tell the truth. As if cheating isn't bad enough, if you can't tell your partner the truth, there is no relationship.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Now I feel I have forgiven him. great, only one problem. he should have the chance to forgive you. you say you have forgiven him as if you are an innocent party in this.
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