Lucky_One Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I hope for your sake that his cousin keeps his mouth shut. But it's a rare man who doesn't go around bragging to his buddies that he got laid, especially if he's a virgin. i am a bit surprised that your BF had a 8 month EMA but only cheated on you 3 times. They must have been long distance?
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 I hope for your sake that his cousin keeps his mouth shut. But it's a rare man who doesn't go around bragging to his buddies that he got laid, especially if he's a virgin. Yes I hope so too. i am a bit surprised that your BF had a 8 month EMA but only cheated on you 3 times. They must have been long distance? No that's how long it has been since his cheating. It's been 8 months later now that it happened.
TaraMaiden Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I did not know Jerry Springer had rehearsals on Loveshack...I cannot wait until it goes out on air..... This is a joke, isn't it?
lostsunsets Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Lisagirly, The fact is that just like being a virgin, you can only lose it once. You are a cheater now. It doesn't matter what you do in the future, you are a cheater, and you will always be someone who is able to cheat. I ask you this. When you meet that one special guy in the future, and he asks you if you ever cheated, what will you say. Most likely you will lie so you don't lose them, maybe you will take the risk and tell them. The point is in all future relationships you will either lie or make them worry that you will cheat again. So how is that a basis for a loving truthful relationship? You may think you have gotten revenge on your boyfriend, what you have done is put a kink in any future relationship you may have. You have proven how you deal with a betrayal by someone else. By becoming a betrayer. I am so sorry to hear that you are OK with this. Especially the fact that you waited 8 months to do it. The initial shock was over, but you had to debase yourself with his cousin to be able to say "I got you back". What you did was lower yourself. I will take a line from a movie I once saw. "Honor is a gift a man/woman gives to himself/herself". Just how did you honor yourself in this situation?
seibert253 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm going to blunt, to the point, and I'm not going to pull any punches here. You and your boyfriend may have issues with honesty, but I don't. So here we go: Let's see if I get this right; your boyfriend cheats on you, is remorseful and sorry for what he's done, and spends his time trying to right the wrong he's done to you. Then you go out and do the same thing he's done to you for whatever reason, spite, revenge, doesn't matter really. YOU ARE NO BETTER A PERSON THAN HE. Congradulations for stooping down to his level. Sure doesn't sound like someone who's in love to me. At it's current state, your relationship is doomed. You've got alot to learn. Relationships are about love and trust. Yes your guy violated the trust, but in your own words he saw he screwed up, and has been trying to rebuild what he broke. This shows me he truely does love you and feels really bad about what he's done. For you to go out and violate this same principle in spite of what he's trying to do, shows me you don't seem very trustworthy, and I question whether you truely love your boyfriend. If you did, you would recoqnize the pain he caused you, and would never inflict that upon him. Not a mature action IMO. OK, now what. I see three options here: 1. Be honest and tell your boyfriend what happened, then start anew. Work to rebuild the trust and love between the both of you. 2. Say nothing and hope everything works out, (I doubt it will because nothing destroys a relationship faster that lack of honesty)(what's gonna happen 2 years from now when he does find out what happened, and eventually he will. He's gonna be more pizzed that you hid this from him) 3. End the relationship and find someone you can trust and be trustworthy to. Both you and your boyfriend have alot of growing up to do.
Adri Ana Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Lisagirly, so many wrote to you that your head would go spinning now reading all and answering all,I imagine ,huh . But what matters is that You HAD time enough after getting angry to weigh all up and only then to decide what to do . Look,I understand your need to revenge factor,I have got this in my nature too , but to want to revenge and to really do it are different things . You can revenge in various situations, BUT REVENGING YOU HAVE NOT TO PUT YOUR OWN HEAD UNDER AN INSULT AND HUMILIATE YOUR SELF, U AGREE WITH ME ? What you have done is the lowest thing to do , only immature men or women would act like that . I know,I have no any right to judge you, and I really do not judge,I do not want to . But YOU HAD To Rethink ,to Weigh up all the things before going to bed with his cousin . Cheating is very low . You actually did not grow after the difficulty you encountered with your bf,but you fell down as you cheated planned the cheating . You did the thing which will not let you ever achieve anything except your well being [?] as you tell . You could meditate and feel same well without at least cheating and doing this with his virgin cousin . You did not impress his cousin by your high standards either ,you agree ? Now summing up, you went down instead of going up . You did not grow meeting the problem. You fell into mud humiliating your dignity,Lisa.
Bryanp Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Why is it fair that you know he cheated on you 3 times but he does not know that you cheated on him 3 times?
seibert253 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Now that I've re-read this, seems she doesn't care at all about anyone else but herself. True NPD here. She's gonna make a fine wife. I'm outta here. Peace,
westernxer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 No, what I meant is I didn't leave any evidence like he did in his cheating. This is why we girls tend to be smarter when it comes to cheating. Whereas guys get caught faster girls can keep it a secret for longer periods of time. Very funny. LOL
In Like Flynn Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I can just imagine the joy she will get at family gatherings or when the cousin is around the BF!!!! He will be humiliated far more than she was because she did it with a family member!!! The way she talks...this is either fake or she has major personality issues!!! And like a good NPD she doesn't she it!!!
Dexter Morgan Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Anyways he's been trying to gain my trust ever since then. I don't know what came over me though. nice try...you know exactly what came over you. you wanted revenge, and wanted another guy anyway. you should have just broken up with him if you felt the need for revenge. he cheated, he didn't deserve to keep you. But now the problem is, you are a cheater too. Doesn't matter what the reason is. You are no better than him now. Thing is now I feel relieve as well as a bit of guilt at the same time. I don't plan on repeating this, maybe it was just for revenge. So can I hide this and pretend it never happened? No. Why? Because if he is trying to regain your trust and you are sitting there reaping the benefits letting him think he was the only one that cheated in the relationship....well that speaks for itself. He doesn't know you cheated too...so there would be trust for you to gain back with him also. But you are going to sit back and let him make all the effort in a bit of hypocrisy. honestly, don't know why you just didn't dump him and move on. why lower yourself to his level?
Dexter Morgan Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm not at it no more, the cousin was just a fling and besides it's our secret. We did promised each other it would not happen again though. As far as posting a bulletin and telling him I cheated, nope I already got my satisfaction. I'm feeling better now. It worked. so he gets to grovel to gain your trust back, when you are a cheater too. Nice...real nice. you got your satisfaction? why are you even with him then?
Mr. Lucky Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 He is totally unaware of it LOL. I meant how did the attempt to hide it and keep it a secret work for your BF? Mr. Lucky
Dexter Morgan Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I know cheating back it's not the answer but see now I feel better and on the inside I don't have to deal with getting sad which I would still do it once in a while (he was there to comfort me though and reassure me it was't going to happen again), checking his email sometimes nor worry that much about when he's not with me. Think he really deserves to know about this? did you deserve to know about his cheating? There would be your answer. It's not like it's going crushed him, hurt since he already cheated first. well then tell him if thats how you think. Not really because his cousin knew about it and he thinks my b/f got what he deserve. runs in the family it seems. looks like his cousin is a dog too. I was feeling more guilt afterward but his cousin told me not to worry and don't feel guilt, that he did it first anyways. I never say my cheating was better than his. I stated that I somewhat better afterwards. It felt like a huge weight I don't have to carry no more. yes, so you both cheated now....only one problem, there is a huge imbalance. you seem to think you get to cheat and its all better...while making your bf continuously pay for what he did. don't get me wrong...pay he should....but not to a girl that cheats and keeps her mouth shut.
silktricks Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Why don't you just break up now and get it over with, as this relationship is obviously in the toilet. I understand the desire for revenge, but revenge cheating is quite a silly thing to do. You may feel better, as if a weight is off your shoulders, but you have only made yourself into a worse human. I can in some ways understand someone having an affair because of "love". But revenge???? No and No and No and NO.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Why don't you just break up now and get it over with, as this relationship is obviously in the toilet. I agree, no reason for this farce of a relationship to continue.
Heroic Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Yeah, so one day when cuz needs money or a booty cal guess who is now on the hook.....
Author Lisagirly Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 Lisagirly, The fact is that just like being a virgin, you can only lose it once. You are a cheater now. It doesn't matter what you do in the future, you are a cheater, and you will always be someone who is able to cheat. I ask you this. When you meet that one special guy in the future, and he asks you if you ever cheated, what will you say. Most likely you will lie so you don't lose them, maybe you will take the risk and tell them. The point is in all future relationships you will either lie or make them worry that you will cheat again. So how is that a basis for a loving truthful relationship?So you're basically saying I can't ever have a happy relationship in the future if I were to break up with my boyfriend? Yeah, so one day when cuz needs money or a booty cal guess who is now on the hook..... If this is a joke then it's not funny. If you want to write sarcastic comments go to a prank site.
Author Lisagirly Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 Now that I've re-read this, seems she doesn't care at all about anyone else but herself. True NPD here. She's gonna make a fine wife. I'm outta here. Peace, Does this even looks like a personality disorder forum? You don't even know me in real life as I don't know you either so quit with the labels. Only narrow-minded people do that. Alright so I cheated and I have decided not to tell him as I don't want to bring this to him after all we been through. I know it's hypocritical, don't I will now focus on my relationship and do my best to be a better girlfriend. Now enough with the lecture on how my future relationships (if we break up) will. This ain't no humanity nor psychology class anyway.
HsMomma Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Now enough with the lecture on how my future relationships (if we break up) will. This ain't no humanity nor psychology class anyway. Wow, Lisa, I don't know where to begin! I guess I'd like to know how old you are to start. You seem extemely young & yes, immature in your thinking. I have to say, though, that I took GREAT offense at your comment above. No, this is not a Humanities or Psychology class, it is a forum where YOU posted about a situation, supposedly asking for advice. When you hear things you don't like, you snap back (with appalling grammar, too). If you can't deal with hearing what posters really think of your situation, you shouldn't have asked. I don't know if your situation is a real one or just the product of an imagination that thought this would be fun to do, but if it is real, you need to get some help - your thinking process is skewed from most people's reality. Revenge cheating (or revenge anything) never solves a problem - in the real world, it just creates more. Good luck to you - I think you're going to need it. Karma can be a nasty, bitter pill to swallow...
Dexter Morgan Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Does this even looks like a personality disorder forum? You don't even know me in real life as I don't know you either so quit with the labels. You have said all we need to hear to know about you in real life with regards to relationships. Only narrow-minded people do that. no, only narrow minded people revenge cheat, think, "ah, I got my little satisfaction"....then continue with the relationship as if there should even be any question that the 2 of you should be together. Alright so I cheated and I have decided not to tell him as I don't want to bring this to him after all we been through. I know it's hypocritical, don't I will now focus on my relationship and do my best to be a better girlfriend. yes, it is hypocritical. So if you are going to keep your mouth shut about your cheating, then you have no business, or right, to harrass him about what he did if it hasn't happened again. Get that? drop it...leave him alone about it.
bentnotbroken Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Does this even looks like a personality disorder forum? You don't even know me in real life as I don't know you either so quit with the labels. Only narrow-minded people do that. Alright so I cheated and I have decided not to tell him as I don't want to bring this to him after all we been through. I know it's hypocritical, don't I will now focus on my relationship and do my best to be a better girlfriend. Now enough with the lecture on how my future relationships (if we break up) will. This ain't no humanity nor psychology class anyway. And how narrow minded do you have to be to have sex to get even with someone for cheating on you and with a relative no less? That's about as narrow and small a group to exact revenge on our BF with, his family. So if you know what you are doing is hypocritical(lying to the one you say you love) how can you tell others on here what they should and shouldn't be doing. It is a public forum you posted on you know? It doesn't take a psychology class to figure that out, just some common sense. And little humanity would go a long way in your future relationship choices..
citizen67 Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Oh C'mon - people on this post have not been giving advice they have been judging. OP don't tell your bf and if cousin squeaks deny deny deny
lkjh Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Oh C'mon - people on this post have not been giving advice they have been judging. OP don't tell your bf and if cousin squeaks deny deny deny and they say that good old honest people are no longer around
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