Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Like the title on my thread states I cheated back at him just two days ago in exactly the same way he did it plus the same amount of times (3 to be exact). My boyfriend's affair was about 8 months ago. Typical story of the one getting caught in lies and denying it in your face. But collapsing when faced with evidents, I had one picture of him kissing the woman. Anyways he's been trying to gain my trust ever since then. I don't know what came over me though.Thing is now I feel relieve as well as a bit of guilt at the same time. I don't plan on repeating this, maybe it was just for revenge. So can I hide this and pretend it never happened?
Mr. Lucky Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So can I hide this and pretend it never happened? How well did that work for your BF ??? Mr. Lucky
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 How well did that work for your BF ??? He is totally unaware of it LOL.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Why would you only do it with is cousin? Why not his brother, father or best friend? While you're at it, why not post a 40 foot bulletin board on a major highway, telling him you cheated on him? I will never understand revenge cheating. The dumbest thing anyone could ever do, by lowering themselves to this standard.
bentnotbroken Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So you stooped to his level. If you wanted truth and honesty from him, how do you expect to get what your aren't planning to give. This is just so .....yuck. Family members shouldn't be used as puns in two immature people's games. No one should be used, but family.... You two actually deserve each other. What makes what you did any better than him cheating on you.
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Why would you only do it with is cousin? Why not his brother, father or best friend? While you're at it, why not post a 40 foot bulletin board on a major highway, telling him you cheated on him? I'm not at it no more, the cousin was just a fling and besides it's our secret. We did promised each other it would not happen again though. As far as posting a bulletin and telling him I cheated, nope I already got my satisfaction. I'm feeling better now. It worked. I will never understand revenge cheating. The dumbest thing anyone could ever do, by lowering themselves to this standard. I know but what if after doing that it works and now you don't have to worry about having one eye opened nor checking on their accounts, since you did it back and thus you're feeling better now.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Have you ever heard the term "dysfunctional coping tools"? You might want to look into it. A healthy relationship is built on love, friendship, trust and respect. I see none of these components in your relationship or how the two of you are interacting with each other. Then, to top it all off, getting off on revenge cheating...I once again, will never understand that type of psyche, the need to roll in the gutter.
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 So you stooped to his level. If you wanted truth and honesty from him, how do you expect to get what your aren't planning to give. I know cheating back it's not the answer but see now I feel better and on the inside I don't have to deal with getting sad which I would still do it once in a while (he was there to comfort me though and reassure me it was't going to happen again), checking his email sometimes nor worry that much about when he's not with me. Think he really deserves to know about this? It's not like it's going crushed him, hurt since he already cheated first. This is just so .....yuck. Family members shouldn't be used as puns in two immature people's games. No one should be used, but family.... You two actually deserve each other. Not really because his cousin knew about it and he thinks my b/f got what he deserve. I was feeling more guilt afterward but his cousin told me not to worry and don't feel guilt, that he did it first anyways. What makes what you did any better than him cheating on you. I never say my cheating was better than his. I stated that I somewhat better afterwards. It felt like a huge weight I don't have to carry no more.
whichwayisup Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Trust is ALWAYS going to be an issue between you and your boyfriend. He cheated for 8 months (pretty crappy and selfish of him to do that!) but you INTENTIONALLY cheated out of spite. For what? To make yourself feel better? Did it honestly work? OFCOURSE his cousin is going to tell you not to feel guilty. Anyway, if I were you, I'd get checked for STD's. Obviously this cousin and your bf aren't close, because if he can bang his cousins gf, who knows what kind of sex life this guy has.
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Anyway, if I were you, I'd get checked for STD's. Obviously this cousin and your bf aren't close, because if he can bang his cousins gf, who knows what kind of sex life this guy has. Actually it at the same time happened to be his first time. I found this out through my boyfriend and another friend of his as well as his previous shy nature the first time my boyfriend introduced me to him at a family reunion. He was embarrassed about this issue and basically at the same time wanted to do it already and get it over with. Also he did liked me a while back as he stated.
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I know but what if after doing that it works and now you don't have to worry about having one eye opened nor checking on their accounts... Why wouldn't you have to worry any more? What you did didn't change what he did, and since he's already proven he can cheat on you, why wouldn't you continue to wonder - to keep that one eye open? ...on the inside I don't have to deal with ... checking his email sometimes nor worry that much about when he's not with me. Again, why wouldn't you ahve to worry... He's already betrayed you once, and your cheating hasn't changed him one bit, so why wouldn't you still worry? Think he really deserves to know about this? It's not like it's going crushed him, hurt since he already cheated first. You really don't think so? Then go ahead and tell him. I believe people in a relationship deserve to know this about their partner. I stated that I somewhat better afterwards. It felt like a huge weight I don't have to carry no more. Maybe some day you'll come to realize that you set one weight down, only to pick up another one.
bentnotbroken Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I know cheating back it's not the answer but see now I feel better and on the inside I don't have to deal with getting sad which I would still do it once in a while (he was there to comfort me though and reassure me it was't going to happen again), checking his email sometimes nor worry that much about when he's not with me. Think he really deserves to know about this? It's not like it's going crushed him, hurt since he already cheated first. Not really because his cousin knew about it and he thinks my b/f got what he deserve. I was feeling more guilt afterward but his cousin told me not to worry and don't feel guilt, that he did it first anyways. I never say my cheating was better than his. I stated that I somewhat better afterwards. It felt like a huge weight I don't have to carry no more. Have you read what you have typed? Nothing you have put here is clear and rational thinking. If you feel better inside for doing something wrong, what does that say about your character and integrity? If you are willing to do something wrong to make yourself feel better, does it stop with cheating or do you do something that could hurt more than that tree that doesn't fork?
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Why wouldn't you have to worry any more? What you did didn't change what he did, and since he's already proven he can cheat on you, why wouldn't you continue to wonder - to keep that one eye open? Because if he does it again it wouldn't affect me nor get me sad at all. I will just be smiling and telling him not to worry, that it's over and I did the same too, then keep on laughing some more. Again, why wouldn't you ahve to worry... He's already betrayed you once, and your cheating hasn't changed him one bit, so why wouldn't you still worry?Because it's his loss if he cheats again. I'll be taking it as a ''whatever it's over'' thing. It's completely up to him if he want to make this relationship still work and stay with me or cheat again and losing me forever. You really don't think so? Then go ahead and tell him. I believe people in a relationship deserve to know this about their partner. He's never going to find. I did not leave any trail of it and I'm not using my real name in real life (in case he happens to be a member here by accident).
lkjh Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 first off I don't think this is real. I find it hard to believe that anyone can be this naive and selfish. If this is real, yes he will find out. You have to be completely foolish if you don't think guys talk about this stuff. If this is real then the cousin will tell some of his friends and it will get back to your bf. Look, if this real then do the smart thing and tell him. Also, get tested for std's
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Look, if this real then do the smart thing and tell him. Also, get tested for std's So I can still catch an std from a virgin even if he wore protection?
Enema Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Scenario: I'm your boyfriends cousin: "Hey Lisa, let's have sex again or I'll tell your bf about us"
bentnotbroken Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So I can still catch an std from a virgin even if he wore protection? Condoms aren't a 100%. And this is getting ridiculous.
lkjh Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So I can still catch an std from a virgin even if he wore protection? I didn't know he was a virgin but anything is possible. Has he ever had oral with a girl(either receiving or giving)? Do you know for 100% that he is a virgin? People use to think I wasn't. Also you can still catch std's while using a condom Other than that please re-read your post. Do you really think 20 years from now you will look back on this with pride. What you did was out of spite and anger but think......you literally messed up a family. Those emotions will pass with time but shame never does. Why are you with your bf? Do you love him? If you do love him can you really keep this from him for life? On a side note if the cousin was a virgin he may and likely will develop feelings for you. Are you prepared for that? When his jealousy gets hot he won't be able to hold this in. If this is real then I don't think you actually thought this through. I urge you to either break up with your bf or tell him the truth before this gets messy.
lkjh Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Another thing is this who you really want to be? I mean you actually let a man inside of you and it meant nothing but revenge.
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Because if he does it again it wouldn't affect me nor get me sad at all. I will just be smiling and telling him not to worry, that it's over and I did the same too, then keep on laughing some more.... Because it's his loss if he cheats again. I'll be taking it as a ''whatever it's over'' thing. It's completely up to him if he want to make this relationship still work and stay with me or cheat again and losing me forever. So in essence, after he damaged your relationship with his betrayal, you have insulated yourself by finishing the job and breaking it completely, to the point where you are now in a relationship that you don't care about? Well, I hope it's everything you ever dreamed a relationship would be. He's never going to find. I did not leave any trail of it and I'm not using my real name in real life (in case he happens to be a member here by accident). What, did you kill the cousin or something?
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Scenario: I'm your boyfriends cousin: "Hey Lisa, let's have sex again or I'll tell your bf about us" That's unlikely to happen, it's not. If it were to I first would take it he's joking. I didn't know he was a virgin but anything is possible. Has he ever had oral with a girl(either receiving or giving)? Do you know for 100% that he is a virgin? People use to think I wasn't. Also you can still catch std's while using a condomYes he was a virgin but he was embarrassed about that. I don't he ever even had oral with a girl. Besides my boyfriend and a friend of him speaking about his lack of experience I could tell by the look on his face when we did it. He did looked kinda nervous, telling he it was his first when it was over. He seem clueless at first but when it was the 3rd he did it better. We did the other things as well so it was me that taught him. Other than that please re-read your post. Do you really think 20 years from now you will look back on this with pride. What you did was out of spite and anger but think......you literally messed up a family. Those emotions will pass with time but shame never does I haven't really thought about it. Why are you with your bf? Do you love him? If you do love him can you really keep this from him for life? I must still love him afterall, else I would have left him a long time ago. I just got carry away by anger but come to think of it there is some guilt I still feel. On a side note if the cousin was a virgin he may and likely will develop feelings for you. Are you prepared for that? When his jealousy gets hot he won't be able to hold this in. No that would take me by surprise. I have no actually emotions for him and he knew this was just a quick fling. I hope he doesn't take it too serious. At the same time I'm kinda wondering if I messed him up? Hope not. If this is real then I don't think you actually thought this through. I urge you to either break up with your bf or tell him the truth before this gets messy. Right I haven't thought about it. I guess I'll break up if I know he'll find out.
Author Lisagirly Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 What, did you kill the cousin or something? No, what I meant is I didn't leave any evidence like he did in his cheating. This is why we girls tend to be smarter when it comes to cheating. Whereas guys get caught faster girls can keep it a secret for longer periods of time. What I meant is when we did it, it was definately not at the cousin's house, where we could have been caught easily and I knew my boyfriend's working schedule.
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 That's unlikely to happen... If it were to I first would take it he's joking. I haven't really thought about it. No that would take me by surprise. I hope he doesn't take it too serious. At the same time I'm kinda wondering if I messed him up? Hope not. Right I haven't thought about it. It's a good thing there's no possible way that any of this could backfire on you...
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 No, what I meant is I didn't leave any evidence like he did in his cheating. This is why we girls tend to be smarter when it comes to cheating. Whereas guys get caught faster girls can keep it a secret for longer periods of time. Got it. You must be so proud.
lkjh Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Look you put yourself in a risky position. I still have trouble believing this is true. Most people would be paranoid but you seem confident which is weird especially when your story has millions of ways of coming undone. First off if you were this guys first he will get attached. If he has to hear about you two together he will be hurt and hurt people do crazy things. Just take your situation for example. If you can't be honest with your bf then you shouldn't have one. It isn't healthy, just end the relationship. Learn to sacrifice
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