iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I also was wondering if any of you have gone through this/are going through this. It bothers me how the smallest things bother me... if that makes sense. I mean apart from the pain, feeling small and insignificant, feeling lonely, feeling empty, feeling hopeless, etc. I hate it when the SMALLEST things (which are not the things I just mentioned) bother me. For example if I learn how to play something new on the piano. I know it's over, and it bothers me I can't just call her anymore and play it for her. Or simply tell her I learned how to play something new. Small things like this... or even if it's storming like crazy with thunder and lightning and flooding. It bothers me I can't text her anymore to tell her. Or that I found out about a cool new restaurant. Just the smallest things that I have to get used to... it bothers me. It doesn't depress me or even hurt me, really... it just bothers me and make me anxious. And on top of that it feels as if I'm never going to want to tell someone I learned something new on the piano like I wanted to tell her. Does this go away? Is this part of the recovery process? Or is this something that stays, that only happens to some people? And the weird part is she was never interested in hearing the new things I learned or whatever, so I don't understand why it even bothers me. Again, please let me know if you have gone through this or are going through it. I want to know if it's normal. Any insight or stories or whatever have you are welcome, too, though. Thanks. We'll get through this.
Ronni_W Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I went through a similar thing after my "first love" ended, but I'd already had practice with it from when my dad died. For me, maybe others would have seen it as "small things", but they were significant for me on a personal level -- accomplishments that I was proud of or stuff I was excited about, I guess, that I couldn't share with him...couldn't see/feel his pride and interest in me, is probably more accurate now that I'm thinking about it. I'm not sure how much that relates to your experience, though. Cos I wouldn't say it "bothered" me. It did make me feel sad, and as if I had lost a "core supporter" maybe. Like every accomplishment and "new thing" was somehow missing a vital piece that left my achievement or discovery 'incomplete' in a way. (Tough to put into words.) But. We are adaptable enough so that, in time, you will feel that connection with someone else and be excited about sharing your news, observations, ideas and accomplishments with them -- you will again experience a feeling of...being valuable and important to someone else, and them caring about what you're thinking, feeling and doing. In the meantime, yes, I think it is a 'normal' part of coming to terms with losing an important part of your emotional and physical life, and support system. It does fade. Life does go on much the same as "before". I know that doesn't make it any easier in the short-term, though. The short-term sucks a BIG one. Sending hugs and good vibes.
notalone Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 That makes two of us Symmetry. Does it make it 'normal' then?? I dont know. But you know what..I don't get bothered though...just a feeling of wretched emptiness and self pity...the usual I-have-no one stuff...
playlislay Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Im still like this after beig apart from my SO for 5 months ( For example, facebook has an option where you can turn all of the writing on your page into 'pirate talk'. A huge smile spread across my face and my stomach was in happy, little knots knowing that he would LOVE to have this on his profile but............I cant tell him. I want to text him, or call him, or email him, just to share my find. I can just see his happy little face now and hear the spring in his voice uppon this discovery..... ( Its the kind of things that wouldnt interest anyone ele but them that you want to share but you cant. One day we will have someone else that we can share relevent information to and watch their happiness as we do so. Hang in there buddy, Im sure that time is the key. x
Recommended Posts