kizik Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Confidence is not a trick. It's a reality. It means loving yourself and liking who you are regardless of external validation.
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 If you have no confidence you have to fake confidence. To fake is to deceive. Deception is a trick. The first trick you have to accomplish is tricking yourself.
Ronni_W Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If you DID have confidence, how would you act? Or. What do other people do/say that makes you see them as being confident? How do confident people/characters act? You trick your mind into believing you have confidence by acting as if you actually have it...same as playing a role in a movie. The more convincing you are as an "actor", the easier the audience (your mind) will believe and accept it for real. Alternatively, hypnosis is a good technique to increase confidence and esteem. There may also be free self-hynosis courses available on-line.
TaraMaiden Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 There is a trick. The trick is to find out precisely, why you are not confident. Then stop it. _/l\_
knaveman Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 The trick is to find out precisely, why you are not confident. Then stop it. Exactly.:bunny::bunny:
era Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If you DID have confidence, how would you act? Or. What do other people do/say that makes you see them as being confident? How do confident people/characters act? You trick your mind into believing you have confidence by acting as if you actually have it... Yes... Even for just 1 day, act as if...act as if you would if you were a confident person.
Ronni_W Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Even for just 1 day, act as if...act as if you would if you were a confident person. Or you can start smaller (5 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour) whatever you can manage at first. And then increase the amount of time that you "act as if". Tara is correct that another way is to uncover the "roots" of your lack of self-confidence (which usually the best way to do that effectively and efficiently is with help of a therapist.) But if "acting as if" works, then you can still live life with confidence until you decide that you want to find out what caused the problem in the first place. If that makes sense?
Author nama Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Interesting replies, thanks guys. To me confidence is seen as a trick - judging by looking at those around me. I suppose I could say that I live in a 'fake' society that everyone goes around masquerading as though they are confident people. Isn;t confidence just telling yourself that what you're worrying about is nonsense and act as though you don't believe that???
TaraMaiden Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Is that what you tell yourself? I do not. I am confident and have good self-esteem because I realise that everybody has as much right to the kind of respect from me as I deserve from them. If people do not give me that respect, this does not mean I do not deserve it. It means they are mis-reading me. it means they themselves lack sufficient confidence to be able to deal with me on an equal level. Rudeness is a weak person's imitation of strength. I have confidence because there is no reason for me to not be confident.
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