i cheated, but were not official.. how do i gain trust?

[outofcontrol]

okay so i really need help and i have no one else to go too. so first i am going to explain what he is: he is like a boyfriend but doesnt really want a title because i dont know why.we have been together for about a year.

so about a week ago i went to this party with all my friends, and i asked my "boyfriend" to come with me.. but it was like 30 minutes aaway and he didnt want to drive all the way out there. i was bummed cause he was mad that i went without him, but anyways i ended up dancing with this guy from school and madeout with him . i felt so terrible about what happend i could not tell my "boyfriend". so a couple days went by of me acting really weird to him, people were starting to find out about the hook up.. and i didnt want him to findout from someone else so i told him. He FLIPPED out right away so i lied about what really happend. and then he found out the truth and i knew i lied so i just told him everything. he was so mad and would not talk to me. i finally got him to hangout and take me back and he was starting to trust me and believe me that i love him and only want him. but anyways. the next week he went out of town for this big festival. the day he left he was with a friend of mine and was texting me off of her phone and was like who are you going to have over tonight;) and i said something about this guy ive had a crush on since 4th grade but i was just messing around. and he flipped a bitch was like WOWOWOW im done byebeyebyebye wow bye . i did not no what to do, he left town and i couldnt handle it. i promissed him that week i wouldnt go out when he was out of town. so i stayed at home the whole 3 day weekend. but when he was at his festival, this girl was there that he supposivly had sex with while we were together was there, and he ended up staying in the same bad as her but "nothing happend" and i really find that hard to believe. he is now trying to convince me that nothing happend. and that the only way he could have him back was to show that he can trust me, and that i need to be loyal to him.. but i dont know exactly how to do that. can ANYONE tell me what i need to do?

PLEASE!?

 

P.S. my friends are trying to tell me he did something with him, but he said all they did was dance and hungout and everyone was with them the whole time.. so i really dont know what to believe:(

[mental_traveller]

You gain trust by not making out with other guys. Pretty darn simple.

[lora22]

he is like a boyfriend but doesnt really want a title because i dont know why.we have been together for about a year.

If he's "like" a bf, but doesn't want to actually BE your bf...then you didn't cheat, cuz he's not your bf. Unless you've had some kind of talk about being exclusive or whatever...in which case, why doesn't he want the title "bf"?

he was mad that i went without him

then I guess he should've gone with you...

He FLIPPED out right away so i lied about what really happend. and then he found out the truth and i knew i lied so i just told him everything. he was so mad and would not talk to me.

if he's not actually your bf, then this is what I think the problem is - never lie. If you lie, even if you go back and tell the truth, you don't deserve to be trusted. How would someone know you were ever telling the truth?

i promissed him that week i wouldnt go out when he was out of town. so i stayed at home the whole 3 day weekend.

why the major jealousy issues? Has something like your makeout session happened before?

when he was at his festival, this girl was there that he supposivly had sex with while we were together was there,

He had sex with another girl while you were together?

and he ended up staying in the same bad as her but "nothing happend" and i really find that hard to believe.

Even if nothing happened, if you two are exclusive, that's inappropriate and disrespectful to your relationship...if you two aren't together, then you can't be mad, but you should probably stop seeing each other

and that the only way he could have him back was to show that he can trust me, and that i need to be loyal to him.. but i dont know exactly how to do that. can ANYONE tell me what i need to do?

"You gain trust by not making out with other guys." And also by not lying.

 

But it sounds like you two have an incredibly drama-filled, jealous, messed up relationship. I personally would just stop talking to him.

[Dexter Morgan]

sounds like after you cheated, he really wants nothing to do with you. and you can believe he cheated too after finding out what you did.

 

this relationship is no good, best to move on. looks like neither one of you can be trusted. You ask what you can do? The answer is nothing. he won't trust you when not with him again.

 

and everytime I hear about cheating, more times than not a "party" is involved. Maybe people need to wait til their partying days are over before making committments.

[Dexter Morgan]

the day he left he was with a friend of mine and was texting me off of her phone and was like who are you going to have over tonight;) and i said something about this guy ive had a crush on since 4th grade but i was just messing around. and he flipped a bitch was like WOWOWOW im done byebeyebyebye wow bye

 

wow, after being caught cheating, that was a pretty dumb thing to text him. I'd have been pissed too.

 

But then again, I wouldn't have continued the relationship after someone I have been with for a year cheated. I say been with for a year because whether you or he thinks there is a committment, I wouldn't be with someone that long if there wasn't.