cthruyou2 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I have been under NC for 13days now and ppl reading my posts will know my Ex has text me twice, in the 13 days, here is my question, I had received flowers to my house, but not sure who they are from (suspect her, but can't be certain, just odd) My question is this, do I break my NC rule to text her and say "thanks for the flowers you sent" (to the point) or do I not say anything for 2 reasons, the NC rule or incase it wasn't her, then I may have just made things worse, as in pissed her off because it wasn't her...but not saying thank you, is hard for me not to do, as I find it to be ignorant and rude under most circumstances.. Thanks You CTY2
Ronni_W Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 You're right, of course -- many perils in just making an assumption about the identity of one's "secret admirer". But. Also sounds like it is a rather safe assumption...unless you can think of any other admirers you may have have out? Do you want her back??? If not, it could end up being MORE hurtful (to her) in the long run, if you send a note of appreciation. If you do NOT want her back and you feel that you MUST acknowledge the flowers then, IMO, something along the lines of, "I took the flowers to the hospital (seniors' care facility) and they really appreciated it," would serve everyone better in the long run. Do you want her back??? If so, then yeah...let her know that you appreciated the flowers. But. Before you do that, maybe it would be wise to sort out all your own thoughts, feelings, motivations, wants, needs, fears, etc.?
Author cthruyou2 Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 You're right, of course -- many perils in just making an assumption about the identity of one's "secret admirer". But. Also sounds like it is a rather safe assumption...unless you can think of any other admirers you may have have out? Do you want her back??? If not, it could end up being MORE hurtful (to her) in the long run, if you send a note of appreciation. If you do NOT want her back and you feel that you MUST acknowledge the flowers then, IMO, something along the lines of, "I took the flowers to the hospital (seniors' care facility) and they really appreciated it," would serve everyone better in the long run. Do you want her back??? If so, then yeah...let her know that you appreciated the flowers. But. Before you do that, maybe it would be wise to sort out all your own thoughts, feelings, motivations, wants, needs, fears, etc.? Thanks Ronni, great advice, as mentioned, if it wasn't her, not sure if it may push her away by saying thanks to something she never sent....because I actually do still have those feelings there....as one would after a short time.... Thanks Again..
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