sunflower89 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Hey everyone, I'm Sunflower and I've joined Loveshack (I feel like I'm at an AA meeting!) because I'm in a very LDR with my boyfriend. We met on a website last August and just fell for eachother straight away. I had some issues I needed to work through (abusive ex) and so we have waited to meet. (He's 25, I'm 19) I'm in England and he is in America so it's not as easy as him popping over for a quick visit. He's coming for two weeks in September (for my 20th birthday!) and we are going to London/Portsmouth for our stay which will be awesome. Just looking to meet and talk to like minded people in similar situations and getting some support--Obviously the distance is very hard and knowing that we have to wait all Summer to be together is very difficult. Anyway, thanks for listening to my ramble. Sunflower
Midas Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Hello & Welcome, Sunflower! My name is Midas & I'm a Shacker. OMG is this AA? While this isn't quite an AA meeting room, there is however, a forum for addiction & recovery on Loveshack.
Island Girl Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I wish you well. That first meeting has proven to be a springboard into Ultimate Love Land or an immediate brake pedal. It is about the personal chemistry when you are with someone. Usually it is either there or it's not. I am glad the two of you find it so easy to chat and that you are sharing enough to get close. But have you talked about the possibility of not clicking in person and how you'll handle that as well? It never hurts to acknowledge the possibility and talk about "what happens if...". I hope you also are planning to have back up accommodations for the visit. Being prepared is better than the awkwardness of the alternative if the "click" isn't there. Believe me I am just trying to make sure you are aware of these things. I am in no way trying to tell you that LDRs don't work, etc. Because they definitely can -- and work brilliantly! Many here can relate to your circumstances and also met online. Most have met in person too and are still going strong. Welcome to Loveshack.
Author sunflower89 Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 Thank you both so much for responding To the question "have you talked about the possibility of not clicking in person and how you'll handle that as well?" Yes, we have! He is planning on coming to England for his post graduate degree anyway, so the way we see it--He gets to have a look around the country he'll be living in, I'll get a wonderful two weeks with a great friend and if anything happens between us, it will be a beautiful bonus. And Midas..Addiction and Recovery? Really? Thats awesome *goes to check it out* I'm struggling through a drinking problem I've had since I was about 15 so I'll go have a look!
Maggs Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 First of all, welcome sunflower89! If you end up needing this board in the future, you will really appreciate it. Sometimes it's just a good spot to come and vent rather than venting to your OH. I'm Maggs (obviously ). Joined nearly a year and a half ago. Been LDR with my now fiance for the better part of 14 months. (Geez it doesn't sound like a long time, but it sure does feel like it!!) We'll be stuck like this for another year, until after the wedding. I live in Canada, he lives in the UK. I second everything that IslandGirl says. She's got everything covered that I would suggest. It sounds like you're very sensible about things though. And you've got a great opportunity coming up if things do click and he comes back for his post-grad.
hoping2heal Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Hi sunflower , Welcome to the land of "you've got mail ers":D. This board is a godsend, most people won't understand the process those of us who have met online go through, without being in it themselves. That said there are quite a few here who have met that way, and as island said; have met and continue to have wonderful relationships. So, it CAN work. All the best!
Rollercoasterr Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Welcome to our family! Just keep strong and confident through this summer and you'll be fine. And I wouldn't stress to much about the fact that you all might not click. If you don't, then you've got yourself a really awesome friend. So there's always that to look forward to. Oh, and, it took me 4 years to meet my fiance in person, so really, if it can work out for me, it can work out for anyone! Good luck!
Author sunflower89 Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Thank you all so much for the lovely welcome
hoping2heal Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Welcome to our family! Just keep strong and confident through this summer and you'll be fine. And I wouldn't stress to much about the fact that you all might not click. If you don't, then you've got yourself a really awesome friend. So there's always that to look forward to. Oh, and, it took me 4 years to meet my fiance in person, so really, if it can work out for me, it can work out for anyone! Good luck! WoooW! I'd love to hear more about your story . I got excited when you mentioned K1 visa (Is that the fiance visa or am I mistaken?) because I figured that meant you also are in an int'l ldr and it's always nice to find others who are in the same spot as you. .
Rollercoasterr Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Yeah it's the fiance visa. Take around 9-11 months. But we were together 4 years ago after we met online. We fell in instant love, and then something happened along the way, and we broke up. That was the hardest time of my life, and even thinking about it now brings a bit of pain. But we kept in contact, we were like best friends for 4 years, and at random points we would get mushy and just realize that we really didn't need to be apart. Bad thing was, we were both with other people, and were not happy at all. So finally, in June of last year we reconnected and we were both single. We admitted that the love we had never died and we got back together. The first time we ever actually met was in November of last year. It was instant chemistry. In Feb he proposed, and we've been blissfully happy ever since. Well, with the exception of the stress of gathering up the stuff to file for the K1, and trying to plan a wedding around it.
hoping2heal Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Well congratulations . I love happy endings . Thanks for sharing your story, that's really encouraging. I was a little bummed out finding out that I'd be on a 6 month wait with passport before I had the option of coming and going there as I pleased; at least he doesn't have to deal with that coming here *whew* visiting me but it's still up in the air what the date will be. We're hoping for sometime this summer. It's nice to hear that these things can and do work out in int'l ldr's not just nationwide so, thanks for sharing with us .
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