adamcory Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I came home late from a hockey game, I called the wife to find her out with some guy (an old friend she says) until 1:00 am having drinks. Which he paid for. When I stepped into the house it smelled like perfume all over the place. I lost it. I freaked out and punched a hole in the bathroom door (2 actually). This took place 1 month after we got married. She brushed the incident off and told me I was over reacting. I’m pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard me screaming at her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a violent person. I just don’t stand for that garbage and I would never put myself in a situation like she did. When we first met, she was lying to me for the first 4 months. She was sleeping with me and one other guy (that I know about). She admitted this to me after the first 5 months of our relationship. I find myself asking her many questions about her personal life. She gets her back up all the time. I think I trust her. I don’t think my questioning is unreasonable given our past. She is somewhat secretive about her email accounts and phone calls. I have never been unfaithful to her and have never given her a reason not to trust me. There were a few other occasions where I questioned her loyalty to me. We ran into an ex boyfriend of hers and she completely and blatantly ignored me infront of him. I’ve seen pictures of her on a stagette with her arms around some dude. And ofcourse on both occasions we had a large argument. Can I trust her? We’ve been married only 9 nine months. We have a great relationship when I’m not questioning her outings with friends. We have a great sex life, we enjoy many many outdoor activities together. I wish she would just grow up. Help me, what can I do?
lostsunsets Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Sorry to say, but no you can't trust her. You were married a month and she was seeing guys without you knowing. You need to put a voice activated recorder where you can record her conversations. The car is best. Or a room where she holds her conversations. Make sure you test it first. You will also need to key logger her computer. I don't think you need anyone to tell you that she has or will mess around on you. I have no idea why you married a person like her after finding out she was doing you and another guy at the same time for four months. She could have given you a disease. You need to harden your heart and get the proof.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Annull the damn marriage before you have kids, because it's only gonna get worse. Trust it will. This is a woman you cannot trust, she has given you so many damn red flags for you not to trust, she cant' be shocked when you divorce her. Trust me I'd leave her now before she cheats on me during the marriage. That way it wont be on her conscious. This woman is not trustworthy. And when it all comes out your gonna find out more of what she's doing.
Reggie Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Cut your losses. Sorry you are going through this, as it is extremely painful. But , once kids and other entanglements like a mortgage are in the picture, it is even more difficult. I need to tell you that before I started reading on this infidelity thing, I would have seen things differently and probably advised you to forget it and try to get over it. But, it is amazing the pattern these folks follow. If she cheated on you during courtship and has been observed hanging on a dude and drinking with an old boyfriend, she is showing you who she is. Please , believe her. This is who she is.
DNU1 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Listen to Reggie. You are dealing with a serial cheater. I've been there...I know where this will end up, sadly enough. Cut your losses and head for better life. You could snoop her tail off and find out to be sure...but I'm guessing you konw the answers to your questions. keylog her computer (get e-mails and passwords), snoop her phone, voice recorder in her car, GPS her car, hire a PI to follow her, if she's got a smartphone (blackberry, iphone) get Flexispy.com installed on it TODAY! You can snoop her, but without kids and just this early in marriage, I'd suggest divorce, or as I call it, Plan D.
OceanBlue Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I came home late from a hockey game, I called the wife to find her out with some guy (an old friend she says) until 1:00 am having drinks. Which he paid for. When I stepped into the house it smelled like perfume all over the place. I lost it. I freaked out and punched a hole in the bathroom door (2 actually). This took place 1 month after we got married. She brushed the incident off and told me I was over reacting. I’m pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard me screaming at her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a violent person. I just don’t stand for that garbage and I would never put myself in a situation like she did. When we first met, she was lying to me for the first 4 months. She was sleeping with me and one other guy (that I know about). She admitted this to me after the first 5 months of our relationship. I find myself asking her many questions about her personal life. She gets her back up all the time. I think I trust her. I don’t think my questioning is unreasonable given our past. She is somewhat secretive about her email accounts and phone calls. I have never been unfaithful to her and have never given her a reason not to trust me. There were a few other occasions where I questioned her loyalty to me. We ran into an ex boyfriend of hers and she completely and blatantly ignored me infront of him. I’ve seen pictures of her on a stagette with her arms around some dude. And ofcourse on both occasions we had a large argument. Can I trust her? We’ve been married only 9 nine months. We have a great relationship when I’m not questioning her outings with friends. We have a great sex life, we enjoy many many outdoor activities together. I wish she would just grow up. Help me, what can I do? Do her a favour and leave her now. People with that type of jealousy only get worse and the violence will escalate. If you are punching doors after a month, who knows what you'll be hitting in 5 years. You will never trust her.
Reggie Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 The violence allegation is complete BS. Punching a wall is not violence against another person and is a normal reaction to this type of abuse. I do believe you should leave her, however, as she is clearly abusive.
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