Bells Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Of course, that's sometimes by THEIR choice because they want to focus on their boyfriend. I a statement on someone's profile that said that she said that she's always missed on her social life because she was always focusing on her boyfriends...but now she has a boyfriend that encourages to get out and socialize. With that said, it sounds like some people ADAPT according to WHO they are dating? I live in a somewhat more suburban less populated area, and when people get married or date seriously. They don't have a social life outside of their OWN relationship, because they are 100% focused on socializing with only each other. And if they ever do get out to socialize, they are always going out together as a couple. You never see the husband doing a poker night with the men, or the wife going shopping with others. Now some of you might think, "Man, talk about an unhealthy relationship!" Or is it? If it's THEIR choice to focus SOLELY on each other, it's healthy? They have had no complaints about their sig other wanting to do EVERYTHING with them, because...well....they are okay with it. However, I know of some relationships to be strained, because the one person wants to do something with other people, while the other nags them for it. OR....there's a 3rd thing. You just simply are able to adapt EITHER way, because you're willing to do whatever makes your sig. other happy? Is the above a complaint or is it just a change of pace? I have heard some women that complained about how their ex always wanted to be her side no matter where she went...but now here current boyfriend is cool with it. I'm trying to figure out if it's a complaint or just adapting to keep your mate happy either way?
Midas Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I have a tendency to be flexible with respect to my girlfriend's personality, and I take special care to adapt without overdoing it. Excessive people pleasing can have very bad repercussions.
miketanner Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Adapting is ok. Just don't do it to the point where you are being fake.
Trialbyfire Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Everyone adapts to some degree. Look at all the men who carry their SOs purses, while their SOs shop! WHIIIPPPPPEEEEDDDD!! Okay, seriously, yes, I do adapt to a point. I give up my time to be with people I care about. If he's into a certain sport, I'll try it, even though it's not something I'd normally do. More often than not, it's a lot of fun.
Shygirl15 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I adapt as well, and very willingly do so. The handbag thing: apparently my BF just loves to carry my purse wherever we go, so I had to adapt to that, and all the stares.. It seems to me that women are a lot more willing to adapt than men. PS: Bells, man can't believe you're still reading profiles! No luck yet?? j/k
thegoodlife Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 It varies in the levels but I definitely always try to adapt. Like TBF said, if my SO is into a certain sport or a hobby I take an interest as well. It's how I got into baseball actually, before I met my bf I thought it was the most utterly boring sport to watch- now I love it! And as for the spending time together, like I said it's varied in different relationships obviously, it really depends on the personality of that person. I've had a few though, in my early teen years where I wanted to spend more time together and they weren't willing to--needless to say those didn't work out. I think it works to meet halfway. My bf and I are naturally very outgoing and busybodies, but since we started dating we've become a bit more 'homey' than we've ever previously been, and that's okay because it works for us.
Lyssa Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I do adapt but I don't tend to over-do it. I never watched cricket before but I do now cause of SO and he wasn't a big fan of F1 but he is now cause of me! I have a few GFs that would do ANYTHING for their BFs. They won't even have a girls night out anymore . I agree with Mike - it's alright but don't be a fake.
Author Bells Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 Yeah, I knew of this woman (a single woman) that had kind of a close female friend. But this female friend would always not do anything with her when she got a new boyfriend (a boyfriend that would only last couple of months) then when thing didn't work out She'd be calling her to hang out. Needless to say, this behavior fizzled the friendship.
Recommended Posts