solo_flyer Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Women, which one of these situations would be worse (from your perspective)? 1. Your guy truthfully says, "I've fallen in love with another woman, but I have not slept with her so far and have never had a physical relationship behind your back." 2. Your guy truthfully says, "I slept with another woman but I was never in love with her, it's always been you alone."
twicebitten Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Because if he DID LOVE her ... that's emotional then, & far more hurtful ... in my opinion, anyway!! XO - TB -
PinkToes Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 #1 gives me a chance to decide whether the relationship is still viable. Emotional affairs are deadly, no question, and it stings. But IMO, a physical affair spells the end, hands down, no going back.
tigressA Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 The first one. I wouldn't be able to handle it if my boyfriend fell in love with someone else. It would be over for me.
Citizen Erased Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Either of them would make me break up with them.
Trialbyfire Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.... That's the sound of his butt bouncing on concrete, on the way to the curb. This is applicable to both scenarios. Neither is acceptable.
Ronni_W Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 If I HAD to pick one of the two, I'd go with #2 because it gives me some control -- I can choose or not choose to try to work through it. (No idea what I'd end up choosing, though -- will depend on then-current "stuff".) If he's ALREADY in love with someone else...all that is within my power to do is say, "Good bye, good luck." Oops...misunderstood the question: At present time, I'm thinking #1 would be worse.
confusedcookie Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 both are equally worse =( 1) he's in love with someone else already, what more is there to say? you couldn't even hold on his heart, even when you were together with him, sigh 2) so if he didn't love or like the girl, why sleep with her? what's the point of being in love of me if you're not faithful to me. in other words, you don't respect me. see? both result in the same conclusion... bye bye
lofi_tokyo Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Worse: #1 The end result is the same though isnt it? Heartbreak and broken trust. Either situation would lead to a rocky road for the rest (however little would be left) of the relationship.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 If a man/woman physically cheats on you once, and then honestly tells you, I would POTENTIALLY be able to forgive it, because he would have told me....which means a LOT in my book. The emotional connection though and him falling in love with another person - there isn't really a way back from that is there? Unless he chooses to kill that connection off?
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 1. Your guy truthfully says, "I've fallen in love with another woman, but I have not slept with her so far and have never had a physical relationship behind your back." 2. Your guy truthfully says, "I slept with another woman but I was never in love with her, it's always been you alone." Having been a cheater myself, I can tell you with some confidence that number 1 is far, far worse. I had plenty of 'sex only' experiences and those never interfered with the relationship I already had going on. Why would they? It is basically mutual interactive masturbation, no more, no less. Now, that said... falling in love with someone else is like a cancer to the existing relationship with or without sex with the OP. With 'just sex' you only think about the OP when you are feeling horny. With 'love' your thoughts are on them nearly all the time, and you find yourself becoming increasingly resentful of the person you are with. It tears the relationship you have apart.
Ronni_W Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Solo, NOT that it is remotely okay, when you are in a committed/exclusive relationship, to go screwing around with women as long as you don't fall in love with them, right??? I voted #1 worse...and now feel compelled to add that my vote does NOT indicate my condoning #2 Not at all!
muhlissah Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Neither is ok, but for me its hard to say which is worse. The situation I'm in now is pretty much the first one though he says he doesn't love her, but it still hurts bad. I do feel that if I found out he slept with her I wouldn't be able to forgive him.
twicebitten Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I posted # 2, BUT meant #21 ... as being WORSE (see my reason in my post above)!! XO - TB -
Author solo_flyer Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 Solo, NOT that it is remotely okay, when you are in a committed/exclusive relationship, to go screwing around with women as long as you don't fall in love with them, right??? I voted #1 worse...and now feel compelled to add that my vote does NOT indicate my condoning #2 Not at all! For the purposes of this thread, I don't really care whether or not it is OK... think of this as a social experiment Thanks for your responses, everyone.
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