sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 And if she is living in the UK, Italy is more likely to have a full week of nice summer weather than anywhere in the UK is.
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Ya, I call that "being home". You have a bar at home? Ah you know what I mean. And TBF- yes, love is about doing whatever you can simply to be with the one you love, however, this R is pretty new, and I can see how in the first couple of months you would want to play it safe. Travelling can be a big test of a R, and roughing it can be even more stressful- esp in a country where you don't know the language. Why not try to minimise the stress for your first romantic holiday away?
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 sb, some of the judgements about prettybaby, within this thread, have been just plain ridiculous. We're talking about a one week vacation, where she's got the money to put towards ensuring that it's a great time. Italy is a romantic place. Why not crank up the romance level with whatever you can afford? Truthfully speaking, I wouldn't be so nice about it, as she's being. But then we're not the same person. I would have discussed a budget before starting any of this, then discussed bumping up the budget if it's insufficient. If he couldn't afford it, I would pay. If he can't stomach that, then he should be dating someone who wants the same things as he does. I would expect the same from my SO. Say I wanted to budget at a set dollar and he wanted more. If so, he can pay for it. No big deal. Vacations to me must include zero hassle and be perfectly relaxing, where there's no schedule so if we feel like spending a couple of days in bed with room service, so be it!
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Yes, I agree 100%, we are coming at this from a similar angle (I think). I see where you were going with that comment now.
clv0116 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 You have a bar at home? Yes, yes I do. Also a beautiful view for miles across a forested valley, but I'd have to hire a maid for the duration to get the full pampered effect.
calazhage Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 For men it is a no win with certain women.. If he has plenty of money but chooses not to waste it on an expensive room, then he is cheap and you would be starting that thread. If he is borderline, and he would rather not spend the money, then his income becomes so magnified that the woman is pushed to starting threads over how to get her way, and mentioning about 10 times that she makes more money and always will. It really should not be a big deal with all the drama..She relates not being able to stay in that exact room to "Staying in crappy places for the rest of my life", or "It would just be an average vacation" You do not have to travel to a foreign country to get a nice room and have sex. If your boyfriend is that strapped for cash why not save the money on airfare and just stay at a 5 star hotel close to home. In your mind is crossing a geographical boundary line that big of a deal if the room is your main concern and your boyfriend is a low earning male?
Trialbyfire Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Fiscally responsible = good. Cheap = selfish and bad. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's cheap men.
calazhage Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Define cheap. I remember the one female poster who thought her boyfriend was cheap because he did not want to go out and eat $400 meals. Also nothing worse than dating a spoiled woman.
Trialbyfire Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I love being a spoiled princess who always gets her way!
Star Gazer Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I love being a spoiled princess who always gets her way! Meeeeee tooooooo!
calazhage Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Of course you do. But we all know the men that give into all of your desires receive little respect.
lino Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Like I said several times: it is really okay if we don't get to see a whole lot. That's not our goal anyway. And Italy is only 2 hours away by plane, so what do we care? We've go the rest of our life to go back and visit more. This is our first trip together, we've had a busy year. We just want to go to a pretty area, where the weather is nice and where we can relax, lay by the pool, make love, visit a couple of things and eat good food. Why is everybody trying to push hardcore visiting on us when it's not even what we want? I'm not sure how you guys went from reading a post about how to handle 2 budgets, to discussing the amount of places you would personally like to visit. Well Italy isn't a place that I'd personally be interested in going to for a vacation so I'm not discussing what I personally would do there. I do think if you want to stay in some nice accommodation, lay by a pool, have a lot of sex, eat good food & see nice things there are nicer and cheaper places than Italy but if that's where you & your partner want to go you just have to reach a compromise.
Els Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I'm asking why people spend time in an exotic location and don't go and SEE the place, but rather lay around the pool and spend a lot to stay the whole time in an expensive place. Heh, if you ever came to my 3rd world country, you wouldn't WANT to stay in anything less than 3 stars, trust me. EVEN if you intended to spend most of your time sight-seeing. Those places don't really get checked for anything, so there'll be crumbling bathroom walls, cockroaches and ants over your bed, and dim-litted corridors which present the perfect opportunity to get mugged. There IS the odd 'cheap but respectable' place, but you'd be hard-put to find it. Then again, considering our currency exchange rate, I suppose our Sheratons aren't exactly expensive to most tourists from the West anyway.
Author prettybaby Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 For men it is a no win with certain women.. And certain women being ... me? If he has plenty of money but chooses not to waste it on an expensive room, then he is cheap and you would be starting that thread. No, because my personal bank account would still be the same, and I would still be able to afford something nicer. With the only difference that his choice would actually be his choice, instead of budget limitations. And if he explained to me that even though he can afford it, he'd rather save it for something else or whatever, I would respect that. It's his money. I never expected my partners to cash out for stuff they don't want to. That's why I make my own money ... makes perfect sense to most sane people. It really should not be a big deal with all the drama.. What drama? Read over those 6 pages and tell me who's starting drama. I'll give you a hint, it starts with calaz and ends with hage. You do not have to travel to a foreign country to get a nice room and have sex. You don't have to, but you certainly can And you're talking like we're gonna stay locked up there 24/7. We'd like to visit some, but we both agreed it's not something we want to stress about. And even if we wouldn't step out of that hotel once; what do you care? It's not your vacation, is it. If your boyfriend is that strapped for cash He's not THAT strapped for cash. Like I said, he's far from broke. He just has his limits, which I definitely understand and I would never expect him to spend more than he can, and than he should. Which is the very reason why I started this thread. If I was the stereotype you seem to picture me to be, I wouldn't have asked anything on this forum before tactfully offering different options to him. I would have booked the freaking place, packed his luggage, wrapped a sandwich for him, grabbed his hand, and dragged him along. And if he dared to disagree, I would have stomped my feet and started whining like a spoiled child. Seriously, get real why not save the money on airfare and just stay at a 5 star hotel close to home. In your mind is crossing a geographical boundary line that big of a deal if the room is your main concern and your boyfriend is a low earning male? Why are you so stuck on Italy being some sort of fancy destination to us? Itally IS close to home! It is one of the most low key destinations that were listed in the books he gave me. If we were staying in our area, we'd probably have rain during 50% of our stay. Now how dumb would that be? Talk about wasting money then.
Krytie TV Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Hey there OP. I'm late to the battle, but just wanted to tell you that I found it refreshing that you would post this. I have a somewhat recent experience in dating in which the gender positions were the same to yours. She made much more than me and I knew my limits. In that relationship I got irritated that she was not considerate in these matters... as you very obviously are. You did very well. It's nice to know that there are women out there that can look beyond themselves enough to even care about this issue, let alone try to tackle it head-on in a fair way. The only way you can know what he's comfortable with is to do what you did. I hope everything works out. Enjoy Italy!
Bells Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Fiscally responsible = good. Cheap = selfish and bad. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's cheap men. Define "cheap".
Krytie TV Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 "cheap" is having the extra resources to spend money but refusing to for money's sake.
clv0116 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Heh, if you ever came to my 3rd world country, you wouldn't WANT to stay in anything less than 3 stars, trust me. EVEN if you intended to spend most of your time sight-seeing. Those places don't really get checked for anything ... It would be extra funny if I've already been there. Where are you? I'm really not picky but I do like a shower and a clean bed. Other than that I don't require much.
Trialbyfire Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Define "cheap".Speaking as a spoiled princess who always gets her way, cheap would be a man who won't spend his last penny on ME, ME, ME.
clv0116 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Malaysia. Ah, I've spent a lot of time in the PI, but never went into Malaysia yet. I love that area, the water is so nice and warm, clear, it's just incredible. Also the various navies of the world have thoughtfully littered the sea floor in that area with discarded hardware for us to explore. On topic, what would you reckon a reasonable daily budget to visit Malaysia would be for a person who was budget conscious but also wanted to dive and do some other similar activities?
calazhage Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 "cheap" is having the extra resources to spend money but refusing to for money's sake. Can't win... So if you save money for security, you are cheap. If you spend spend spend then you stand the chance of being broke, and we know how women feel about that. Women are horrible with money in most cases, so who really cares what they think. And yes, he does seem strapped for cash if a room upgrade is that big of a deal.
Author prettybaby Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 **ignoring calazhage** UPDATE! So we had our little dinner last night, and he brought it up in a pretty happy tone. He actually found some really good deals on flights as well as the hotel itself (yes the same one). If we book it through an agency, it comes out cheaper ... strangely enough. So that's what we're gonna do That fits his budget great (although he still hasn't told me what his exact limit is; but I didn't bother asking again since the whole booking question is solved. So there was no point). It won't be the most expensive room they have, but I can live with that lol We're both pretty excited about out trip! Can't wait
calazhage Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Well, glad to hear you will be able to live without the most expensive room. Maybe while on the trip you can dig and find out more details about his budget? Make sure it is pushed to the exact limit, and have a good time.
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