northstar1 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Wow, this seemingly non-complicated issue has been blown way out of proportion and resulted in some kinda nasty exchanges. Pretty seems content now, so I guess that's the important thing.
lino Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I would worry far more about the regions that I would be going to rather than the hotel accomodations. It almost sounds as though you could go anywhere in the US for a whole lot cheaper, easier and easily as secluded and romantic, if what you want is to sleep late and make love in the mornings. Alternatively, travel thoughout the towns and cities in the region that you are looking at. Stay in a small pensione a few nights, somewhere mainstream a few nights and somewhere luxurious two nights. Rent a car and travel - that is why you are there! I agree completely! OP, in one week you won't see or experience much in Italy.
Lucky_One Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I agree completely! OP, in one week you won't see or experience much in Italy. It takes me a good day and a half to adjust to my new sleep schedule when I go overseas. Honestly, I wouldn't go to Italy unless I had 10-14 days to travel at leisure to soak in the beauty and the history. How about Quebec City instead? Beautiful, romantic, lots of fun, not nearly so far, it's own tiny little enclave of history with a totally foreign feel. Not nearly as much pressure to see the country or to travel to a different area or to get out of bed by 9 am with sturdy walking shoes.
Author prettybaby Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 I agree completely! OP, in one week you won't see or experience much in Italy. Like I said several times: it is really okay if we don't get to see a whole lot. That's not our goal anyway. And Italy is only 2 hours away by plane, so what do we care? We've go the rest of our life to go back and visit more. This is our first trip together, we've had a busy year. We just want to go to a pretty area, where the weather is nice and where we can relax, lay by the pool, make love, visit a couple of things and eat good food. Why is everybody trying to push hardcore visiting on us when it's not even what we want? I'm not sure how you guys went from reading a post about how to handle 2 budgets, to discussing the amount of places you would personally like to visit.
Author prettybaby Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 It takes me a good day and a half to adjust to my new sleep schedule when I go overseas. Honestly, I wouldn't go to Italy unless I had 10-14 days to travel at leisure to soak in the beauty and the history. How about Quebec City instead? Beautiful, romantic, lots of fun, not nearly so far, it's own tiny little enclave of history with a totally foreign feel. Not nearly as much pressure to see the country or to travel to a different area or to get out of bed by 9 am with sturdy walking shoes. I'm not sure how you've managed to read this entire thread and completely miss the numerous times I have said that we are in EUROPE and that Italy is very close by.
Lucky_One Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Like I said several times: it is really okay if we don't get to see a whole lot. That's not our goal anyway. And Italy is only 2 hours away by plane, so what do we care? We've go the rest of our life to go back and visit more. This is our first trip together, we've had a busy year. We just want to go to a pretty area, where the weather is nice and where we can relax, lay by the pool, make love, visit a couple of things and eat good food. Why is everybody trying to push hardcore visiting on us when it's not even what we want? I'm not sure how you guys went from reading a post about how to handle 2 budgets, to discussing the amount of places you would personally like to visit. Oops. Gotcha. Did that awful American thing of assuming that you were in the US. I'd go to Italy for 3 day weekends 6 times a year, if I only lived 2 hours away by plane.
Stockalone Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Anyway, that's why I now just asked him clearly. I'm waiting for a response. You did the right thing. You can't plan a vacation without knowing the budget. And his response so far seems reasonable. Talk it through on wednesday. But depending on when you want to go, it's probably better to book it sooner than later. You said he is a teacher, so that means that the whole country (and probably half of Europe as well) goes on vacation because the kids don't have school either during that time. I want to get one of their rooms on the top floor; which is basically their most expensive and has its own private terrace with breakfast area and everything. Stunning views like you have no idea. Plus, I'm thinking the top floor will most likely be super quiet; as families with children would be on a different floor. I don't want to hear screaming kids in the hall way when we're making passionate love in the morning! LOL He probably wouldn't notice if they tried to pull down the building around you. Besides, he is a teacher, he should be able to ignore screaming kids... I think he was worried about making the wrong choices or booking things that wouldn't suit me. I mean, really, some people here are tripping because we won't get to see the whole of Italy. That's not the point guys! At first it didn't even matter where we'd go. The point was to get away for a week or two and be able to totally enjoy each other's company and relax and be together. Which is exactly what this hotel offers: comfort, privacy, it's easy, headache-free, romantic, and all around perfect. I can relate to that. I wouldn't expect a gf to be okay with a cheap hotel filled with early-20's students who are drunk out of their mind almost every night. When I travel alone, I don't care about that. I just ignore it. Alright, I guess it's cool. And although we'll be staying at the hotel I picked, I get the feeling I might have to lower my standards as far as the room is concerned. Hmmf. Compromises are key, right? Right. Hmm. lol Going one instead of two weeks is already a compromise on your part. And agreeing to the hotel you found, even though above his usual standard is a compromise on his part. I think that is a good start. Maybe he finds a way to add a little bit to his budget (transferring some money from a hobby to his travel budget) to get a room that is slightly more expensive than what he initially could/wanted to afford. I guess it depends on how much we are talking about, despite the hotel not being the Ritz. Just make sure you aren't showing too much disappointment if what he has in mind isn't the room with the private terrace. If that is simply not within his budget, then it is what it is. And the 50/50 thing sounds like a pride thing to me, there is nothing you can do about that if he insists on it and would be uncomfortable with something like TBF's suggestion. Is it possible to save money by choosing a different airline? Since you live in Europe, maybe look at Low-Cost-Carriers instead of BA, Air France or Lufthansa, etc if you haven't already done so. If it is only a two-hour flight, IMO much of the traditional services aren't needed. I paid less than 75 Euro for the tickets on my last vacation. Parking at the airport cost me more than the tickets...
Author prettybaby Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 ^^ Finally clear, constructive feedback. Thank you. I know, I've been thinking about it today, and a cheaper room in the same hotel will really be fine to me. He did mention we could look at low cost flights, so I guess we might check it out tomorrow (Wednesday). And yeah, he wants 50/50. I'm not going to insist on doing it differently, because that would just make the whole thing unnecessarily complicated and awkward. Some people here are acting as if I insisted multiple times that I pay for what I want, but I didn't. I suggested it one time in that one e-mail I sent him. He responded to my suggestion, so that's what we're gonna do. Now we just have to work out the details of it all and we're good to go.
clv0116 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I earn pretty OK money, and I don't understand the (mostly female) fascination with staying in a "nice place", never have and probably never will. I stay someplace clean and safe with a good shower. That's it, and as another poster noted in many places I vacation that's $20 a night. Why pay more? I only sleep there and my goal is to waste as LITTLE time in my room on a vacation as I can. Getting past that ... If I want to go someplace and bring my GF with me, I always just plan a vacation I can afford and go for it. It often happens that she wants to pay for incidentals on the trip but I plan and execute as if I was going to be funding the whole thing. It's a gift from me to both of us. If one starts planning it the way you are doing it's misery in my opinion but I hope it works for you. I realize it's too late to go back now and I'm sorry I can't help there but maybe you can consider this for next time. Also, and I'm dead serious here, if you can explain the fascination with staying in expensive hotels I'd love to understand it. Outside business trips where I had to be within a decent radius of the office and use the room for after hours work I've never understood the reasoning on this. Hopefully your solution works out fine. As a guy I would have issues with being so passive in the relationship but if it's working for you two then that's the main thing. Just be sure you will be satisfied and able to respect him in that role for the long run.
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I can explain the appeal of staying in a fancy hotel. I have stayed in a wide range of accomodation, and sometimes I actually prefer the tent, esp when we were in some countries where the accomodation was slightly questionable (bugs, dirty, etc). However sometimes, a nice fancy hotel is just great- when we were camping for a few months around africa, every now and then we would pay to upgrade to a proper hotel (not a fancy one mind) so we could sleep in a decent bed and have a hot shower. Taking it to the next level (5*) is a treat, but its a nice treat. Its nice sometimes to have a big room with an awesome view, comfortable bed, a bar, a good bathroom, a TV and amenities/ service. Times when I have really appreciated this were - at the end of our looong african camping trip. We stayed at a 5* to celebrate, and man it was heaven to have a porter carry my backpack, have a hot bath, get our laundry done for free, eat beautiful gourmet food cooked by someone else, and to stay in a huge big soft bed instead of a roll mat and a sleeping bag. -when we got engaged. Drinking champagne when you are staying in a seedy 70s porn set type hotel just didn't cut it. - our wedding night. Again- a nice hotel was great to get ready in as a bride, and to get jiggy in as a newlywed. - a couple of months before our baby arrives we are going to stay in a 5* spa resort hotel for a few days to chill before the onset of mayhem a new baby brings. I am going to get pampered and my H is going to do all the included outdoor activities. So sometimes, its nice. And for a first trip abroad as a new couple, I can see the appeal of a nice hotel. (chances are they won't even surface that much! )
Author prettybaby Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 I'm not fascinated with expensive places lol I looked at several hotels and had the following criteria: - easy to access - close from pretty places to visit (so we won't be spending hours on a bus or whatever) - good food reviews - a pool (that's a personal preference we both have in mind for this trip) So based on that I found about 5 hotels that matched. I then looked each one up on tripadvisor and read customer reviews. Some were surprisingly bad, some were so-so, and one was flawless +++ It's our first trip together, so I figured I wouldn't want to take any chances and risk having our stay ruined by terrible service, dirty rooms, dirty pools, or a bunch of noisy families. That's when I started looking up more details about the one with the great reviews. And when I saw pictures of the rooms, I was totally sold. I contacted the hotel with a few questions. They were quick, friendly, practical, and were very easy to talk to. Which is why I was 100% sure that this would be the perfect hotel for us this Summer. Because we were looking for something nice and headache-free. We had a romantic + relaxing holiday in mind, and the room pictures were literally the embodiment of that! So there you have it, the detailed explanation about this particular hotel choice.
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I was trying to back you up there PB. Anyway, you don't actually have to justify your hotel choice to anyone on here. You will often get conflicting opinions on a thread- its the nature of posting your personal issues online I guess. If you are happy with how things are going and your BF is happy, then thats all that matters.
calazhage Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Let's say I am crazy about this girl, and we are taking a trip. Both of us can find the time for 2 weeks, and I am more of the decision maker. Being into her, I would like to make this as long as possible. We split trips 50/50. But instead I volunteer to cut the trip in half because I would rather stay in an expensive room. It just seems my priorities are less with her, and more with the "fancy" room. "Hey honey let's go to the Bahamas for 2 weeks" "Sure, I have the time and can afford that" "Ok let's look for a place" (Purposely picking a place out of her price range) "let's stay here" "Wow that's expensive" "Ok, let's just stay one week. I would rather have one quality week than 2 crappy ones!" I wonder how she would feel? Me quickly volunteering to spend less time with her because I want a better room, knowing she would be 100% happy in any room and being with me. I just can't imagine people actually think like that. The room is ultimately more important than spending more time with the person you should be crazy about.
donnamaybe Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Let's say I am crazy about this girl, and we are taking a trip. Both of us can find the time for 2 weeks, and I am more of the decision maker. Being into her, I would like to make this as long as possible. We split trips 50/50. But instead I volunteer to cut the trip in half because I would rather stay in an expensive room. It just seems my priorities are less with her, and more with the "fancy" room. "Hey honey let's go to the Bahamas for 2 weeks" "Sure, I have the time and can afford that" "Ok let's look for a place" (Purposely picking a place out of her price range) "let's stay here" "Wow that's expensive" "Ok, let's just stay one week. I would rather have one quality week than 2 crappy ones!" I wonder how she would feel? Me quickly volunteering to spend less time with her because I want a better room, knowing she would be 100% happy in any room and being with me. I just can't imagine people actually think like that. The room is ultimately more important than spending more time with the person you should be crazy about. OMG! http://www.modmyi.com/forums/attachments/general-iphone-chat/3943d1196266766-any-way-attach-beating_a_dead_horse.jpg
Author prettybaby Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Let's say I am crazy about this girl, and we are taking a trip. Both of us can find the time for 2 weeks, and I am more of the decision maker. Being into her, I would like to make this as long as possible. We split trips 50/50. But instead I volunteer to cut the trip in half because I would rather stay in an expensive room. It just seems my priorities are less with her, and more with the "fancy" room. "Hey honey let's go to the Bahamas for 2 weeks" "Sure, I have the time and can afford that" "Ok let's look for a place" (Purposely picking a place out of her price range) "let's stay here" "Wow that's expensive" "Ok, let's just stay one week. I would rather have one quality week than 2 crappy ones!" I wonder how she would feel? Me quickly volunteering to spend less time with her because I want a better room, knowing she would be 100% happy in any room and being with me. I just can't imagine people actually think like that. The room is ultimately more important than spending more time with the person you should be crazy about. Jee, I guess I must be the highlight of your day or something. How entertaining is this all to you? Seems like your brain somehow censors certain parts where I clearly explain things. I already said: we weren't sure yet about 1 week or 2 weeks. We were both cool either way. And I'm also leaving my dog at home (he'll be taken care of by dog walkers), so I'd rather not leave him for too long. We had already decided prior to even picking a destination, that the number of weeks would depend on the total price, and both options were fine to us. I mean, that was just a detail to us, but for some reason it seems like a really big deal to you. The way you're looking at things is so negative. He doesn't even think of it like that. He's a pretty easy going, laid back guy. He doesn't over analyze silly stuff like "the number of weeks must equal how much she loves me". What kind of crap is that? There were other factors at play that we had discussed weeks ago, and it was clear to both of us that 1 or 2 weeks didn't really matter.
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I was curious how this would play out. My BF is like you, and I'm like yours. He and I have gone on short holidays, but recently planned two big trips together, and figuring out the logistics of who's paying how much and for what required a little bit of diplomacy. See, he's a fancy pants traveler; I am not. I am perfectly fine with flying coach and staying at a low-end Sheraton or whatever. This is because most of my time on vacation is spend outside of the hotel, exploring, and I'd rather spend my money on other things (fine dining and shopping, for example). He, on the other hand, flies first class, is a fancy member of the Admiral's club, and prefers 5-star hotels (or at least Four Seasons or better). Granted, I have never really traveled that way for extended periods, so I honestly don't know what I'm missing. But I hear it's wonderful... ...and I've been warned that once I start flying first class class on a regular basis, I'll never be willing to sit in coach ever again. Anyway, we usually compromise by buying coach tickets but upgrading using miles, and then staying at a Westin. This enables both of our goals (budget, quality, and a good amount of quality time together) to be met.
calazhage Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Well this is what you said: I quickly went "Well we can make it one super quality week instead of 2 average ones" And he smiled and agreed. That illustrates a fancy room is more important than the amount of time you spend with him. The type of room makes it a "super quality week"? An average room makes the whole vacation just avg? Seems shallow.
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Well, you left out one part: And he smiled and agreed.[/b] It's up to each couple to decide what's important to them.
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Well there are other factors at play. She would rather not leave her dog for two weeks- fair enough. And I think two weeks in total will probably end up being more expensive, even if they take a cheaper room- by the time you add on meals, trips, shopping etc for an extra week. You think shes shallow- we get it. Point made.
Author prettybaby Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Well this is what you said: I quickly went "Well we can make it one super quality week instead of 2 average ones" And he smiled and agreed. That illustrates a fancy room is more important than the amount of time you spend with him. The type of room makes it a "super quality week"? An average room makes the whole vacation just avg? Seems shallow. And again, you failed to see my explanation about that reaction. I'll just copy & paste because I'm tired of typing the same things twice for you: I was caught off guard when he hinted at the price range, and I honestly had no other option in mind. That was the only hotel I was truly considering. So I basically reacted within a split second and suggested we go one week instead of 2 maybe. I should also clarify: the one week vs 2 weeks question is something we weren't sure about yet. And we had decided that it would basically depend on prices. So really, that's the most logical reaction my brain figured out
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If you love your man, you would backpack with him, living off the land and starving or dying of thirst, if there's nothing available to eat or drink. Ain't that what love is, particularly if you can afford something nice but choose to starve instead, since it saves his massive ego? Ah yes, the purity of stupidity.
clv0116 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I can explain the appeal of staying in a fancy hotel. Awesome. However sometimes, a nice fancy hotel is just great- when we were camping for a few months around africa, every now and then we would pay to upgrade to a proper hotel (not a fancy one mind) so we could sleep in a decent bed and have a hot shower. OK I've done that, the last night in most of the 3r world places I've visited I've spent in an expensive place, near the airport. This is not what I was asking about. I'm asking why people spend time in an exotic location and don't go and SEE the place, but rather lay around the pool and spend a lot to stay the whole time in an expensive place. Part of that is answered by the OP; she's apparently from Europe and Italy isn't a faraway exotic locale for her, it's like me flying to Vegas. She has (later) said she plans to spend a lot of time in the room. So her choices while a little odd seem to make some sense. Its nice sometimes to have a big room with an awesome view, comfortable bed, a bar, a good bathroom, a TV and amenities/ service. Ya, I call that "being home".
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm asking why people spend time in an exotic location and don't go and SEE the place, but rather lay around the pool and spend a lot to stay the whole time in an expensive place. I don't get that either, BUT each to their own, and thats a personal choice.
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