freeman580 Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Hey all.. Here is a thread to start a debate... Does internet dating really work? Some people swear by it... others really find that it is a waste of money... or is a hybrid internet + in-person the way to go? About 6 years ago, I started to try internet dating... yes, I admit it.. Similar to many, I kept being matched with people that I would have never found interesting (and painfully realized that when I met my “matches” in-person). Worse, I had to pay money to be paired with individuals that I ultimately was never attracted to. Beyond vowing to never use “blind” internet-dating again, my question is,... does purely online dating even have a chance of working? Instead of having a computer try to match you (which is actually a little humorous when you think about it), maybe a solution is to use the internet as a tool to facilitate the search instead doing the search. If you have ever traveled internationally, you know that most people act different and with more confidence when they have a veil of anonymity. I came across a company named "WinkedAt" that is in that space (do a google search for WinkedAt to find them). I am not sure how long they have been around, but I am interested in getting your comments and comparison to purely online internet dating. They seem to be a legit alternative to the usual suspects. SO, what do you think about how effective online internet dating is? What are your experiences? Send me an private message if you want to learn more about my experiences both with and without it. Thx..
Trialbyfire Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I've never tried online dating for the express reason that it reminds me of catalogue shopping. In essence, you're being matched for perceived positive traits with people who are providing perceived positive traits. Reliant on the type of person you are, you're either going to underestimate or overestimate yourself, subconsciously or deliberately. Also, most people really don't know what they want in a mate until they meet the right person. Then it all falls into place. Some examples: Take the woman who grew up with an abusive father. She's never going to add abuse onto her list of requirements, although subconsciously, she'll be looking for a similar dynamic. Take the man who's been dominated by a harridan of a mother. He's never going to add that he needs to be pussywhipped but will be looking for a woman who meets those needs.
Author freeman580 Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 Exactly.. I have found that people "fluff" (and that is putting it nicely) what they put on their to-be matched profiles.... and nothing can beat meeting the individual in person... that being said, some people are liars.. and a profile is only an extension of the person.. however, i have found services like WinkedAt to be invaluable. The ability to let another person review my profile AFTER I have met them in person (not matched by the service.. rather I just found her attractive), has been great... I am a rather humble guy, and I dont like to talk about myself too much... This way, she could read about me without any pressure (on either of us)..
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I'm beginning to think that one's success at online dating can have A LOT to do with the area you're living in. I haven't run into a single case of somebody misrepresenting himself online vs who he is in person. Nor have I come across anybody dangerous. I live in a more rural area - lots of farming, but also some resort communities. Maybe the mindset is different compared to cities? I have no idea. But I was matched on eHarmony with my boyfriend and love the similarities that we DO have. There is still enough different between us to keep it interesting.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 So you go to a relationship forum to ask about the effectiveness of online dating sites, mostly leaning towards the negative, but end up coincidentally recommending another online dating site in return? Hmmm... for an online dating marketing plan I see this is as a Trojan Horse of a marketing strategy. Make sure to PM him even though he is too new to be allowed to PM. LOL
Author freeman580 Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 Ohh if that were only true.... .. A buddy of mine sent me the link about 5 days ago.. I checked it out... nothing more.. nothing less... I started the thread to get feedback on whether or not people liked online dating sites.. this one was different enough that it caught my attention.. no different that when I wrote an article a few years back about how Skype would change the telecom space.. and I didnt own any of that company either.. anyway, like it, love it, hate it.. visit it or not... I am impartial.. now that you mention it, maybe I should ask them for a referral code or something.. make a few bucks..
cbreitel Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 The craziest nutjobs I ever dated were all found online. Never again. Online dating removes the most important filter of all: the "she won't end up hacking you into little pieces" filter. When you meet a girl in person somewhere, you're using your own filter plus the filter of the context of where you met her. When you're set up by a friend, you have the filter of your friend knowing she's not an ax murderer. All that is gone when you meet people online, and people do not have a tendency to be honest about their psychoses when you have no way of finding out other than to date them.
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