cheerup Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 How many dates would you wait assuming she shows her interest in you, but refuseds to come to your place nor invite you to her place clealy suggesting she wants to wait? 1) with a girl you are really into 2) with a girl you find attractive, want to have sex for sure, but are that into yet 3) with a girl you are only interested in sex When do you decide to just drop it after the 1st date, 3rd, or will you willing to wait months as long as you see "someday..."? Base on my research so far in my guy friends, I am hearing 1) 1 to 2 months 2) 3 dates 3) 1st date (maybe 2nd date if she is hot) THANKS!
IcemanJB Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 1.) As long as it takes. If she wants to wait, fine. 2 and 3 have never happened for me (by choice). I won't sleep with her unless I'm really into her and most likely in a rs with her - there's a good chance I'm in the small minority with this subject though.
Author cheerup Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 Yeah, you are.... Glad to know a man like you actually exists...
BentSpine Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 After the first kiss, I expect sex to happen no later than the next meetup. To me it's a sign of a power struggle to withhold sex when you actually want to. You either genuinely don't want to have sex and your body language will reflect that distance. Or your body is in fact responding to the other body, and likewise, your non verbal communication will reflect that desire as well. Or the last case, you want to have sex but for some arbitrary time try to act as if you don't. Result: mixed messages. I find this behaviour annoying beyond my patience.
You'reasian Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 How many dates would you wait assuming she shows her interest in you, but refuseds to come to your place nor invite you to her place clealy suggesting she wants to wait? 1) with a girl you are really into 2) with a girl you find attractive, want to have sex for sure, but are that into yet 3) with a girl you are only interested in sex When do you decide to just drop it after the 1st date, 3rd, or will you willing to wait months as long as you see "someday..."? Base on my research so far in my guy friends, I am hearing 1) 1 to 2 months 2) 3 dates 3) 1st date (maybe 2nd date if she is hot) THANKS! I'm fairly patient but in all honesty, the later the sex - the farther you get pushed into friend zone territory. If the chemistry is right, the two of you should be hot all over each other - but not necessarily first date.
alphamale Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Base on my research so far in my guy friends, I am hearing 1) 1 to 2 months 2) 3 dates 3) 1st date (maybe 2nd date if she is hot) thats about right
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 How many dates would you wait assuming she shows her interest in you, but refuseds to come to your place nor invite you to her place clealy suggesting she wants to wait? 1) with a girl you are really into 2) with a girl you find attractive, want to have sex for sure, but are that into yet 3) with a girl you are only interested in sex When do you decide to just drop it after the 1st date, 3rd, or will you willing to wait months as long as you see "someday..."? Base on my research so far in my guy friends, I am hearing 1) 1 to 2 months 2) 3 dates 3) 1st date (maybe 2nd date if she is hot) THANKS! 1. However long it takes. (that doesn't mean I wont try) 2. I don't date women I won't take serious. 3. Not a big fan of booty calls. Any girl who lets herself be just a sex object isn't worth my time!
IcemanJB Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I should add that the girls I've slept with, were all within a month of actually dating/seeing each other, no matter how long I knew them before. So adding on to what I said before - hands down as long as it takes (and I'm really into her), but so far in my experience it's taken a few weeks to a month or so.
Author cheerup Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 Wow, more than one guy is not interested in just sex, this is so surprising to me... I am in NYC, I just do not see that! Bentspine, you taught me a lot. This can be something I improve. As I met so many just wanting a sex without any commitment, I learned to be very careful. But, sometimes I met a guy who I am attracted to. I was doing exactly what you were saying (hold on to see where this goes..). I recently feel that with my attitude (meaning I kissed and my body launguage showed I am really interested, but asked to wait for sex), I pushed away good ones in addition to those who just wanted sex from me. Thank you! You guys are very helpful!!!
BentSpine Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 After the first kiss, I expect sex to happen no later than the next meetup.Let me correct myself: After the first PASSIONATE kiss I expect sex to happen no later than the next meetup. Withholding sex is a blunt tool when trying to screen men that potentially won't stick around. As your character assessing radar improves though, you will start qualifying or disqualifying men faster and with conviction. The man will feel right or wrong to you much quicker. Also you'll accept that you cannot be guaranteed that no man won't leave you regardless of what you do. So far you have the ability to withhold sex. You could strive to add things the man could do that will make you feel: "BINGO, he passed. Now where are my sexy underware?" It's emphasis on you feeling valued enough instead of mechanically counting off the abstinent days. That way we get down to what really matters, namely your feelings.
Enema Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 1) with a girl you are really into 2) with a girl you find attractive, want to have sex for sure, but are that into yet 3) with a girl you are only interested in sex 1) 3-4 dates. 2) 3-4 dates. 3) 2 dates. Withholding sex as some sort of "seriousness" test when we both clearly want sex is a dealbreaker. Says to me that she'll use sex as reward/punishment and is happy to play other mind games in future. byebye.
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