paddington bear Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 No, is the simple answer to this. However, if you're an idiot woman (like me, but getting better) you gravitate to emotionally unstable men, thinking they are vulnerable and that only you (due to being sooo special) can help them and fix them and likewise emotionally unstable men gravitate towards you. However, if you're not like me, and are a confident emotionally healthy woman you will attract emotionally healthy men. I don't know if you're male or female. If you're a male and all you're getting is women who don't want you because you're basically not a complete mess of a man, you don't want them anyway, their desire for 'fixable' men also reflects on their lack of self-esteem and you don't want someone like that in your life.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Of course we don' t always need men with flaws, if he is perfect..that's excellent. I guess sometimes some things bother me about a guy I am seeing but I know there are things about me that bother him. Sometimes you try to work on these things, sometimes they are part of who you are. I think it's a little unfair to say "this is how I am, deal with it" just as it is to expect a person to change everything for you. And if a girl doesn't like a flaw of yours, it doesn't mean she doesn't accept you. If she is dating you, she accepts you. Even if she doesn't like an annoying habit you have.
You'reasian Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Women can and do improve men's lives. They cannot fix a man's flaws. A man has to fix his own flaws but has to have the right mindset to do so. If he has a partner whos willing to provide motivational support or insight, the better off he is but there's a fine line between being a supportive role and the queen of nagging.
Enema Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I don't think women look for men with flaws. I think women find "flaws" in any man.
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Perfection is too intimidating to me. Flaws make people more human, in my eyes. Anyways everyone has flaws.
DarkestDreams Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Everyone has flaws. But if you're asking if women look for men with *more* flaws than usual, then I can say that I personally don't and never had. Actually, I find it a turn-off and I don't have the energy or the patience for it.
missdependant Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 No one is perfect. We don't SEARCH for flawed men, people are naturally just flawed. It's not a matter of perfect women with imperfect men. It's about two imperfect people in a relationship making compromises. So yes, you might as well be yourself. You'll probably change with those compromises anyway.. and whoever you're with will learn the truth about you someday.
Shygirl15 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 1. No we don't NEED men with flaws but we are WILLING to date men with flaws since we have our own flaws as well. Everyone does. 2. This question can be directed either way.
thegoodlife Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I don't think all women do (I don't personally), but I do know a large number of females that specifically think about what they can make a man 'become', rather than taking him for who he is. It's sad really. And I agree with paddington bear who said that people like that usually have their own lack of self-esteem.
Trialbyfire Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Flaws are subjective. One woman might prefer the silent type, where the next woman would go crazy with a non-communicator. Therefore, the more you're yourself, at the initial stages of dating, the easier it is for women to gauge compatibility. As for women wanting projects, oh lord, no thanks, although sure, there are both men and women who prefer the fixer-upper.
alphamale Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Therefore, the more you're yourself, at the initial stages of dating, ... no one is "themselves" in the initial stages of dating. what planet are you on TBF??
Trialbyfire Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 no one is "themselves" in the initial stages of dating. what planet are you on TBF??I live on Venus. Apparently Martians live a different way.
tinklebell Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I like nice guys. That's not to say they don't have flaws. But trying to fix someone other than yourself is tiring and unpleasant. On the contrary, I tend to lean toward compromising and adapting to my SOs (is that a doormat? ).
Author Ameliorate Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 Thank you Tinklebell, alphamale, Trialbyfire, Okfine, Thegoodlife, Shygirl15, Missdependant, DarkestDreams, Blind_otter, Enema, You'reasian, Jersey Shortie and Paddington bear for your replies... Your replies actually made me think and a lot of things are now more clear to me....
Author Ameliorate Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 Thank you Tinklebell, alphamale, Trialbyfire, Okfine, Thegoodlife, Shygirl15, Missdependant, DarkestDreams, Blind_otter, Enema, You'reasian, Jersey Shortie and Paddington bear for your replies... Your replies actually made me think and a lot of things are now more clear to me....
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I'm a decent guy, a bit gruff, a great nice paying job, my own little place. And you know what no girl I have ever dated stayed because I was a good man, they left for bad guys with internal flaws that are crazy. What women in their right mind willingly trade in good men for dogs and then complain the dog is cheating on me? Yep crazy right, but it happens to me alot. Who knows what women are thinking. The only thing I'm thinking of them is that they're crazy! lol. Please tell me I'm wrong...
Recommended Posts