ten0eight Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 i met GIRL A through my brother's gf back in January and thought we both wanted a relationship but i found out 2 months in she didn't. i went along with that, but now it's frustrating not knowing what's going to become of us. so i met a girl a month ago, GIRL B, who wants what i want. GIRL B shows more emotion whereas GIRL A doesn't. however GIRL A i click more with, is cuter, more mature, but we llive further and she's always out clubbing which worries me. GIRL B is a taller girl (not taler than me), a little bigger, lives closer, shows more interest. I've decided that GIRL A is going to go nowhere. I want a relationship and here I have GIRL B telling me she wants the same. I'm only seeing GIRL A because she's super hot, like a 9/10 (GIRL B is a 6/10) and we've only been casually seeing each other. and when we do we just sleep over at each other's place, go out to eat, and text. We haven't done anything else, no going to parties together, no doing anything else for fun. I get along with GIRL A so well though... although our communication skills needs improvement... So... how do I breakup with GIRL A in a mature manner? We haven't texted/talked to each other for 2 days because she broke her phone. The longest was 1 day. I thought about just letting things fade, maybe text her in a few days and saying something like "how are things? been busy huh?" "looks like what we had has run its course" "good luck with your career" "take care" I just want to keep it short, but still keep things open in case we are single in the future. Since GIRL A lives 23 miles away and i only see her once a week. GIRL B lives 7 miles away and I'll probably see her more often. My brother says that I should just see the both of them until I get serious with GIRL B. I tried this for a while but I keep feeling guilty as if I'm cheating on both, but when i'm not really seeing anyone seriously yet. And I would still hold my feelings for GIRL A which I want to purge to continue with GIRL B. haha I know i rambled a lot during this post, but i need to vent. i can't talk to anyone else about this :/
Ronni_W Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Girl A said she didn't want a relationship with you -- are you sure you even need to "break up" with someone with whom you're not in relationship? (Or did I miss something? Did she specifically say that she WOULD be and IS your g/f even though she didn't want that for herself?) It doesn't sound as if you are into Girl B in a romantic/boyfriend way. If that's an accurate interpretation, it means that you are kind of perceiving that it's okay to use people as if they are merchandise intended to instantly gratify your "consumer's need" for whatever -- in this case, your need for a girlfriend. As you've described the situation, it would be desperate (needy, immature) if you got into a relationship with Girl B even though you're not all that interested in her. Plus, she is a person but it's coming across that you're seeing her as an object of convenience...an object for your convenience. Ack!
Author ten0eight Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 eeee!!! it does doesn't it? but i'm not looking at these girls like objects. but yes, GIRL A doesn't introduce me as her "bf" when we're out, but rather a "friend" so really there is no "breaking up" to do. it's just that we seem like we kinda are, we have 30min-1hr talks most nights and she doesn't talk on the phone with anyone, she always texts. but you're right, there is no "break up"... i don't think she has any feelings for me anyways haha, so maybe i can just be upfront.
Ronni_W Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 maybe i can just be upfront. Well, it is ALWAYS wise and good policy to be open and honest in all personal relationships -- in a kind and compassionate way, of course. And obviously she enjoys talking with you on the phone but that doesn't mean she has ANY romantic interest in you. If she's introducing you as her "friend", then that is exactly what you are! Meaning that your are free and clear to date any other person...who you admire and respect, and whose life, dreams and self-image you want to support, encourage and uplift. Wishing you luck and love
cabarc1 Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Personally i think to Girl A.........you are her boy B.......it seems like she feels for you the same way you feel for girl B
Author ten0eight Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 update. well i went on a date with GIRL B today and broke up with her afterwards. I just didn't feel the chemistry was there. I'm pretty sure I'm GUY A to GIRL A... at least i hope haha. i've slept at her house and her bro knows me. but yeah, i don't think she really does have any romantic interest in me... she hasn't done anything girlfriend'ish besides buy me a few t-shirts and a jacket. i told her one night "i like you" and she said it to me too. she took it seriously as if i said "i love you" lol. so there is something between us, but i'm not sure if it's enough to turn what we currently have had the past 5 months into a romantic relationship later on. she's just real busy with her schooling, career, and sorority. although she'll be done with school this month, she's going to take sorority less seriously in the coming summer, and focus on her career more.
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