Someone who actually likes me

[xpaperxcutx]

I hanged out tonight with a friend I met on social networking.

 

I had arrived an hour late meeting Musician guy and had expected him to have already left, but he forgave me for my lateness, and we spent the entire evening walking uptown, midtown, and downtown, all the while sharing hyperactive conversations filled with laughs, giggles, and teases.

 

I think he likes me, albeit a little too much and too fast. We sat in Washington Square Park and watched the passerbys and NYU students make a fool of themselves while Musician guy told me how he would love to take a picture of me smiling with my phone. Then he brought up the topic of how this was a date, when I only assumed it was a first meeting between friends.

 

He's casual and laidback, yet he has an accent like Antonio Banderas that I find very sensual. Unlike Artist guy, he's 23, 6'1, and quite adorable.

 

I wonder what I was doing with him to begin with? This meeting occurred a day after Artist guy told me plainly and straightforwardly that thing's were going nowhere, and tonight I found myself in the company of another guy, who actually likes me for a change. But I don't know how I feel.

 

I like that he can make me feel happy about myself, having commented several times that I was pretty, and even made an effort to put his hands around my shoulders just to keep me away from the pedestrians on the street. Yet, I have no expectations from him, or anyone else. I feel like he could just be a friend for all I care.

 

I feel so selfish. Had I not met artist guy, I might actually like this guy and get reciprocation. But it's too late and I don't think I want things to go anywhere with him.

 

He told me that hanging out with me was great, and no matter where we go, it's the person that he was with that makes everything counts.

 

This person even took the train with me, let me used him as a pillow while I slept and walked me to the bus stop before giving me a hug. He wasn't forceful and never once did he try to kiss me. He even offered to carry me although I declined profusely, feeling ashamed he might find me to be heavy ( I have body image issues).

 

We made plans for next Saturday to go for a ride on the ferry. He didn't force the issue.

 

I only made the plan because I didn't want to disappoint him, and maybe just maybe he'll change my mind about him.

 

I have a week to think things over.

 

No, right now I really don't see our meeting as dates. I can't help thinking that he came into my life a month too late as is. My mind is still a bit preoccuppied with artist guy despite my best intentions in forgetting him. If next Saturday still goes in a way where I don't think I can develop feelings for him, then I think I can just tell him we can be friends.

[filh]

so you're still in ''love'' with this artist guy?

 

how old is he? (sorry, I know you have threads on this..)

[xpaperxcutx]

so you're still in ''love'' with this artist guy?

 

how old is he? (sorry, I know you have threads on this..)

 

Artist guy is 26.

 

 

The thing is, Musician guy isn't all that bad, he's pretty attractive. I just don't understand why I can't like him more as a friend. He's the kind of person whom if it was two years and I was still in high school, I would develop a crush on. Yet, it seems that despite his best intentions in trying to make me laugh and happy, I can't completely immerse myself in him without feeling slightly uneasy.

[paddington bear]

Artist guy is 26.

 

 

The thing is, Musician guy isn't all that bad, he's pretty attractive. I just don't understand why I can't like him more as a friend. He's the kind of person whom if it was two years and I was still in high school, I would develop a crush on. Yet, it seems that despite his best intentions in trying to make me laugh and happy, I can't completely immerse myself in him without feeling slightly uneasy.

 

He's the kind of person you would have had a crush on - back in the days when you had less confidence and would have thought he was out of your reach. Artist guy was out of your reach and therefore somehow seemed of more value.

 

This guy simply likes you, no games, no messing about and because a) you're not used to this and b) it's too easy and not a challenge, you don't view him in a romantic light.

 

That's my take on it anyway! Feel free to totally disagree. It's just I've noticed this about myself, that I somehow see the ones as hard to get as having somehow more value, whereas those who simply like me from the get go are too easy and there must be something wrong with them.

 

If there's genuinely no spark then maybe it will never develop. However, if you said he was the kind of guy that previously you would have liked I don't think that is the case.

 

Go on the next date and after that see how you feel. If artist guy is still in your head maybe you tell this guy 'look I'm a little bruised from a situation that I just got out of. I know that maybe I'll risk losing you if I ask for a little more time to get back to my normal self, but I am asking for that'. Take a little time away from him and you might find 'hey, that was a decent, nice guy, what on earth am I doing here?' and contact him. Of course you could actually risk losing him by doing this.

 

It's just that sometimes we can totally miss a really good thing when our heads are occupied elsewhere, so you need to make your head asses or realise the value in this guy. However, as I said, if there genuinely is no real spark even after the 2nd date, then simply disregard the above advice.

[xpaperxcutx]

He's the kind of person you would have had a crush on - back in the days when you had less confidence and would have thought he was out of your reach. Artist guy was out of your reach and therefore somehow seemed of more value.

 

This guy simply likes you, no games, no messing about and because a) you're not used to this and b) it's too easy and not a challenge, you don't view him in a romantic light.

 

That's my take on it anyway! Feel free to totally disagree. It's just I've noticed this about myself, that I somehow see the ones as hard to get as having somehow more value, whereas those who simply like me from the get go are too easy and there must be something wrong with them.

 

If there's genuinely no spark then maybe it will never develop. However, if you said he was the kind of guy that previously you would have liked I don't think that is the case.

 

Go on the next date and after that see how you feel. If artist guy is still in your head maybe you tell this guy 'look I'm a little bruised from a situation that I just got out of. I know that maybe I'll risk losing you if I ask for a little more time to get back to my normal self, but I am asking for that'. Take a little time away from him and you might find 'hey, that was a decent, nice guy, what on earth am I doing here?' and contact him. Of course you could actually risk losing him by doing this.

 

It's just that sometimes we can totally miss a really good thing when our heads are occupied elsewhere, so you need to make your head asses or realise the value in this guy. However, as I said, if there genuinely is no real spark even after the 2nd date, then simply disregard the above advice.

 

Thanks Paddings for your advice.

 

I don't know how to go about being social with anyone anymore. The whole time last night I kept apologizing to Musician guy for being an hour late but also for the fact that he was the only one coming up with topics for conversations. He was trying so hard to get me to open up to him yet I couldn't do it, but he didn't blame me for anything. Every time it seems like I was drifting off into space he merely smiled and asked me what's wrong and if I was okay.

 

He's sensitive and while it was great to have someone that actually cares, I can't wonder if he's just trying too hard to get my attention. Normally I would find this kind thing heartwarming, but then I feel like I've became so shallow in my preferences.

 

He's attractive, there's no doubt about it. But I think he's a bit financially unstable at the moment. Is that wrong of me to think about what's in his wallet as opposed to the kind of person he is? I've been through this kind of thing before though, my exbf was unemployed, and I had been in a position where I was the one providing everything financially. So if I end up with someone who was financially unstable I feel I might be the only one who pays on dates and whatnot.