Land Shark Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I need to be more patient. I have no patience. It affects me everywhere I go. With co-workers. At the store, on the road. With friends. With my pets. With inanimate objects. You name it. Even with myself. I equate the things people do that get on my nerves with stupidity and slowness. I assume it's their selfishness. They are oblivious to those of us who have places to go and things to do. And if I tolerate it I just leave them thinking it's ok. And then the others who encounter them will think it's ok. And then everyone will think it's ok, except me. I'll be raging. I might be right about them and the damage they will wreak on the world, but taking it so personally is not doing me much good.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I'm a very slow person. I like taking my time I think it's because my mother's people lived in the tropics where too much activity de-hydrated you It's in the blood you see. Like being late for everything. I'm not very German that way. I used to drive my father and his brother, the priest, insane with my lethargy You're right, though, it is a kind of selfishness. I just don't know what other people are in such a hurry for. They want to get back home to cook a meatloaf or something? And watch American Idol? Well I don't have much sympathy for that
Author Land Shark Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 Hm. Well that just gives me the urge to pummel you. While that's the first time I've felt it for you, it's an urge I have several times a day. I rarely act on those urges. That's my problem. I'm having urges that I'm suppressing. Either I need to get rid of the urges or I need to stop suppressing them.
Citizen Erased Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I'm a very slow person. I like taking my time I think it's because my mother's people lived in the tropics where too much activity de-hydrated you It's in the blood you see. Like being late for everything. I'm not very German that way. I used to drive my father and his brother, the priest, insane with my lethargy You're right, though, it is a kind of selfishness. I just don't know what other people are in such a hurry for. They want to get back home to cook a meatloaf or something? And watch American Idol? Well I don't have much sympathy for that If you were walking along a footpath in front of me I'd push you into oncoming traffic. Be aware that I'm not the only one that would feel this way. Walk faster. Run!
Ronni_W Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I equate the things people do that get on my nerves with stupidity and slowness. I assume it's their selfishness. They are oblivious to those of us who have places to go and things to do. For some reason, I'm getting that you know your perception is distorted on one or another level. Stress relief and anger management education (books, workshops) will give you some strategies to better self-manage when you find yourself in situations that trigger your frustrations. Individual therapy will help you uncover the related faulty beliefs so that you can begin to put the world "out there" in more accurate context and not allow it to impact you as if it is all just a statement about or against you -- which I get that intellectually you know it's not...yet emotionally you're reacting as if you believe it is.
Lyssa Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I have no patience when it comes to waiting for people. When I have to do something, I hate asking someone to do a task cause I don't think they'd do it as fast so I always end up doing it myself. One more thing I hate is buying movie tickets when there's a couple in front of me that keeps going back and forth about which movie to watch....... JUST BLOODY CHOOSE ALREADY!
Stung Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I need to be more patient. I have no patience. It affects me everywhere I go. With co-workers. At the store, on the road. With friends. With my pets. With inanimate objects. You name it. Even with myself. I equate the things people do that get on my nerves with stupidity and slowness. I assume it's their selfishness. They are oblivious to those of us who have places to go and things to do. And if I tolerate it I just leave them thinking it's ok. And then the others who encounter them will think it's ok. And then everyone will think it's ok, except me. I'll be raging. I might be right about them and the damage they will wreak on the world, but taking it so personally is not doing me much good. this post made me wonder, just for a moment, if you were my fiance. honey, i'm sorry i'm late . actually, the worst part is, i love him to pieces but he is entirely oblivious to the fact that HE is the worst offender of a lot of this stuff and therefore a complete and total hypocrite, and I am the one left fuming half the time. what's the saying about hating what you are/being least tolerant about the flaws you share? i hope that's not the case with you. in any case, i'm not immune to this affliction, myself, although i find it bothers me when someone is late or inconsiderate or inept a LOT more when it's somebody i didn't like much in the first place, go figure. this helped me realize that, while sometimes the offending party was just genuinely freaking annoying, SOMETIMES the real problem was a lack of empathy/compassion on my part. almost as if once somebody has pissed me off once, i hold them to a more rigid standard than i would hold another, which they of course can't adhere to, which makes it okay for me to dislike them even more.
Author Land Shark Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 Stress - I'm pretty stressed. Not high blood pressure stressed. But there is always something on my mind that could be going better. Work. Life. Family. House. Cars. You name it. Beliefs - I think the sub-conscious beliefs I have about people and the world have a lot to do with it. They are hard to figure out. Usually if you can it will be clear that they are crazy. And changing them can do a lot of good. Lack of compassion - I generally assume that people could do better and have absolutely no excuse for being such dullards. When I remember that people are generally doing the best they can in life, I actually feel better about things. Who knows what kind of bad things and stress they have going on in their own lives. Chances are it's all worse than mine. Even f*cking annoying people driving while on the phone. Sure they are slow and distracted and selfish. But maybe that's the best they can manage. I mean who ever gets upset at a turtle for being slow? Hypocrisy - I am pretty much a hypocrite as far as these things go. I sometimes drive slower than people around me want me to. I sometimes take longer in line than I should. I take people's time and get in their way, sometimes thoughtlessly. The fact is, if you're on Earth, you have to face that you're going to be annoying someone somehow. I just generally assume my excuses for doing it are better than everyone else's. Maybe that isn't fair.
Ariadne Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Well, According to the new age ideas, which are only theories in this case.. You would be a young soul, that's why you act and feel that way. If it helps to read, here: http://www.michaelteachings.com/young_soul.html
Citizen Erased Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I just generally assume my excuses for doing it are better than everyone else's. Maybe that isn't fair. It isn't fair but I doubt it is anything you can fix. And you're not the only one that is like this.
BenThereDunThat Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 This story, I think, sums up perfectly what LS is saying: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/22/AR2009052204096.html While I don't condone pushing a suicidal person off a bridge, you can bet that most of the people sitting in that 5-hour traffic were imagining doing the same thing. I too cannot stand being behind idiots, be it at the mall, the fast food counter (the menu HAS NOT CHANGED IN YEARS!!! WHAT are you contemplating???), my parking garage (are you kidding me? THERE'S NOT A LOT OF OPTIONS, PEOPLE! DRIVE or PARK for f***k's sake!) That said, I think in a lot of cases people who are perpetually late do it as a form of control. They may not be in control of the event planned as far as where it is, what time things are to begin, etc. So, their way of gaining control (if only in their own mind) is by showing up when they please. If people have to wait on them, even better. They feel they've gotten the upper hand. Even if it is only a one-sided victory.
Ronni_W Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Maybe that isn't fair. You're right, of course -- it isn't fair at all. Now the question is whether or not you are going to do the work to change your beliefs and attitudes that are allowing you to perceive others unfairly. Cognitive behaviour therapy will be useful if you want to explore and replace any currently-held beliefs that lead to your judgment, criticism, feelings of frustration, anger, etc. If you do choose personal growth and self-development, wishing you the best with it -- it's tough but rewarding work.
Lovelybird Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I am not patient sometimes too I remember one time I made my little cousin cried because I taught her a math, and my attitude wasn't so good. Several days before I made my mom mad because she asked me a question about computer, I said something similar with how can she asked such simple question. Totally my bad, I know, I definitely need more patience. I repented
Author Land Shark Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 I repent, too. But repenting is only good if you don't do it again.
Citizen Erased Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I am not patient sometimes too I remember one time I made my little cousin cried because I taught her a math, and my attitude wasn't so good. Several days before I made my mom mad because she asked me a question about computer, I said something similar with how can she asked such simple question. Totally my bad, I know, I definitely need more patience. I repented I once called my mother a f**king idiot for leaving the front door open and the dog escaped. She told me to "piss in your boots and swim" to school. Trust me, you didn't need to repent.
Art_Critic Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I think you just need to get laid.. Many people under emphasize the damage that not getting laid can do to to your patience. The other thing that can teach yourself patience is having a kid.. you could always have one of those.. oh wait.....
Lovelybird Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I once called my mother a f**king idiot for leaving the front door open and the dog escaped. She told me to "piss in your boots and swim" to school. Trust me, you didn't need to repent. but the same we made them feel, my mom was ready to slap me mentally
Citizen Erased Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Yeah, CE. You need to get laid. we all need repent, in this case, maybe you need more That's an understatement.
Author Land Shark Posted May 25, 2009 Author Posted May 25, 2009 Getting laid will fix pretty much anything. It's amazing. I'm surprised the doctors don't prescribe it.
alphamale Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Getting laid will fix pretty much anything. It's amazing. I'm surprised the doctors don't prescribe it. sex therapist prescribe it
Citizen Erased Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 sex therapist prescribe it Do they supply it too?
burning 4 revenge Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I think very slowly because Im dumb and lazy.
Citizen Erased Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I think very slowly because Im dumb and lazy. Well then you need to get laid my friend. And you're not dumb.
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