lonetiger Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 After 5 months of NC...I wrote a simple note to my X, just thanking him for being a wonderful person that really made a difference in my life. Not expressing any feelings nor begging for him back, just keeping it real simple. Surprise to me, he wrote me back. In his letter he stated that he was touched and speechless. Thanking me for such a nice letter. He also expressed that he was grateful for meeting me and always had fun with me. Loved the idea that I had an open mind. Went on and said a few other things...but ended the letter with.."talk to you soon" Okay, So here is the situation. I care about this guy alot and I know deep down inside he still cares for me. Our break up to me was really silly, which my mom thinks that he began to really like me and just got cold feet and didn't know how to handle what he was feeling...and ran. we both are in our late 30's so this aint no teenage crush thing going on. I need input from a male if I could...what should be my next step? Should I write him back and if yes is the answer, how long should I wait? I do not want to freak him out nor scare him off. I gave him an important 5 months of NC to think...which it really gave me time to think and grow. I tried going on dates with other guys, yet, I know and feel it in my heart for my X and therefore, the other guys just aint doing it for me... Should I give up...or keep short and simple communication open?
colosseum Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I tried going on dates with other guys, yet, I know and feel it in my heart for my X and therefore, the other guys just aint doing it for me... Should I give up...or keep short and simple communication open? So...you want him back? Or at least give it a second go? If yes to either, I suggest you not give up and "keep short and simple communication open". But maybe make sure he knows you're interested in at least catching up again some time soon (i.e. end the letter with; "yeah, let's catch up some time. Let me know when you're free." or "call me some time." ) More clarity and honesty at this point would probably be good for both of you. If he complies, then great. If he doesn't, at least you won't be wondering and can move on. If no to either question, then...make sure he doesn't get any wrong ideas. If you're going to reply, keep it short and succinct. My 2 cents.
Gunny376 Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 NC and date lots of other guys! (Didn't say anything about sex, just date lots of other guys) ~ in short get on with your life, and with living your life! There's no shortage of men ~ the planet is covered up with them ~ as in Billions of them! Get busy livining your life for yourself ~ not some man!
GB111 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Dear LoneTiger, I would let sleeping dogs lie for the time being. I cannot fault you for writing to him, particularly given that you waited 5 months (quite a feat, btw). Having said that, given his reply, and the fact that you DID contact him, I'd suggest letting this thing cool off again. He knows you're there, and if he wants to, he knows how to contact you. I'm afraid that if you write again and play these word games, which will not go unnoticed, he will know he's in control and "play" the situation. More importantly, I'm afraid you'll drag yourself down into a depressed situation again. You've made so much progress, I'd be very careful about tossing the ball back over the fence. Trust me, he knows you're there. He can contact you any time he likes. If there was ice to be broken, you broke it. Now he has to take the next step. I wish you the best! G
LovesHangover Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I agree with the person who suggested clarity and honesty. You can put yourself out there if you feel it is worth it. Date other people only if you want to do so. Your life is yours to live. I think it is best to express yourself truthfully. I disagree that your desire to communicate with your ex means that you are living for him. Advice is only as good as it's usefulness, and most of the time we don't need a majority of the advice we seek!
Author lonetiger Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 thanks for the replys! its never easy loosing the one you care for, and taking time out and healing from a break-up is very important. i know i should never live my life for a man, tht i should live my life for me! if it was meant to be, it will find it's way. once again, thanks for the insite:)
Recommended Posts