cthruyou2 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I have had my share of problems in a relationship, I have since been doing alot of reading and getting lots of advice, since my ex walked out on me again.. I have been reading alot on the NC rule in which I have never implemented until this breakup (still doing well after 11days) within those 11 days my ex has text me to ask How I was, that was day 4 and another on day 9, saying "I don't expect you to respond, just know I miss you and hope your doing ok". My question is this, do I wait a day to reply? as I have read on some NC forums, or does it just mean that NC at all period, does that apply even if I would like to try working it out? (which I to need to be certain) I have read some (not many) NC forums where it may push your ex away, but also read forums where it states if you apply the NC rule and they don't contact you, it would have never worked, they will still contact you, even if the NC is applied if they still care. Could use more help, love this forum, very educational Thanks
Chinook Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 nc is for healing and moving on only!!! If you want to work things out - how is not talking to them going to help..?
animalthing Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Well, it probably will push your ex away. Part of the point of the no contact rule is for both of you (you more importantly than the ex) to get over the relationship and move on. If you've established no contact and still want to work out the relationship and the ex is, in fact, getting in touch with you, end NC soon. If you continue to ignore the ex, he or she will be more likely to move on. But think about whether you're sure you want to continue the relationship. Realize what made you two break up in the first place. What were the reasons? Are there real issues to be dealt with? Do you want to be with somebody after they've broken up with you? I mean, do you what you feel is best, but think about it first, you know?
Author cthruyou2 Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 nc is for healing and moving on only!!! If you want to work things out - how is not talking to them going to help..? Hi Chinook, I fully understand what your saying, I guess I should have maybe explained it this way, not sure if it will make a difference, but I guess I am trying not to make it easy for her to walk back in as its been done on my part in the past, when she has left, as I feel that somewhat contributes to the leaving, knowing she can step right back in.. Make more sense? Thanks
animalthing Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 When you start talking again, let her do the initiating. Let her ask to hang out and if you do hang out, don't just jump right back into the relationship. Let her know you're serious about how you can't be with somebody who's going to leave all of the time and that you've got self-respect.
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