dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 My last bf. The guy who moved out of state. Back in town. Called. I didn't realize who it was when I answered. Started asking me stuff like if I wanted to hang out or whatever. Um no. I was a complete biatch to him. But what worries me, is he's staying with his family. That's two blocks away.
BCCA Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 2 words, booty call. Kind of agree. BCCA's theory on the ex boyfriend is that the either want to have sex or date you again. If you dont want either of those, no point in talking to them. You can never be friends with someone you saw as a potential mate, at least not from a guys perspective. Even if you think theyre just your friend, better believe they would jump you if given the chance.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I don't want anything from him. I want him to stay away. It bothers me that all of a sudden he's in town. I'm home alone for the next five days. He's two blocks away. I haven't talked to him since the break up. It makes me feel sick.
JustLooking123 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I'm a firm believer in no contact. And NC = NC, no matter if he lives next door or in Antarctica. Don't answer the phone when random #s call (seriously, why can't this guy just get a normal cell phone like a functional adult?). Keep living your life as if he isn't there.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I'm a firm believer in no contact. And NC = NC, no matter if he lives next door or in Antarctica. Don't answer the phone when random #s call (seriously, why can't this guy just get a normal cell phone like a functional adult?). Keep living your life as if he isn't there. I didn't even see the number. I just answered the ring. This was the guy who several weeks ago I was having a hard time moving on from and seeing all the bad. I feel so sick knowing he's around. I gotta get outta here for the night. Lock up good, and head out.
Trialbyfire Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I'm a firm believer in no contact. And NC = NC, no matter if he lives next door or in Antarctica. Don't answer the phone when random #s call (seriously, why can't this guy just get a normal cell phone like a functional adult?). Keep living your life as if he isn't there.I'm not a firm believer in NC but in this case, I don't see why she would bother to stay in touch, since this guy doesn't have many redeeming qualities.
BCCA Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I don't want anything from him. I want him to stay away. It bothers me that all of a sudden he's in town. I'm home alone for the next five days. He's two blocks away. I haven't talked to him since the break up. It makes me feel sick. Believe it or not, but add another block, and Ive been in the same situation, minus the call. My ex's parents lived 3 blocks away, and she would be over there all the time. I had to drive the long way to get places before I moved, and there was always that 'god I hope I dont see her' feeling when I was near my place. Sucks, it is really sickening. But, you can avoid the dude for 5 days. Dont answer or open the door unless youre sure its not him. Chances are, hes not going to bother again. And if he did, it would be a really minimal effort, I would think, like a text. He doesnt want to get rejected over the phone 2 times in a week.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I'm not a firm believer in NC but in this case, I don't see why she would bother to stay in touch, since this guy doesn't have many redeeming qualities. TBF, I really don't like knowing that he's close. I mean, I wasn't nice on the phone. It was really like a wtf are you calling me. But it gives me a crappy feeling. I wont let him in, nor will I answer the phone anymore before I see that it's not him, but it just doesn't sit right.
underpants Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I swear this scenerio is a warm weather thing. Global Exing. If you want to shut him down completly then let me know. Maybe you should call Batman?
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I'm not a firm believer in NC but in this case, I don't see why she would bother to stay in touch, since this guy doesn't have many redeeming qualities. I swear this scenerio is a warm weather thing. Global Exing. If you want to shut him down completly then let me know. Maybe you should call Batman? Yeah I want to shut him down completely. Oh dear god No, not batman, I've got more then I can handle right no :laugh: An ex and a one time date who can't let go, a guy I like, and a bowling date that wants to reschedule. I'm going into shock
underpants Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Yea, I don't think he is done with you. Is his stay temporary?
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Yea, I don't think he is done with you. Is his stay temporary? Yes, he said till Monday. He said he's been here since Tuesday. You know, it sounds dumb, but I had this feeling all week like something was off. It's a small town. Really small. I had this feeling... So I was like why the hell are you calling me? He was "oh I wanted to see a familar face blah blah blah". I told him to go call his ex he wanted to talk to so bad before I dumped his ass.
underpants Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Yes, he said till Monday. He said he's been here since Tuesday. You know, it sounds dumb, but I had this feeling all week like something was off. It's a small town. Really small. I had this feeling... So I was like why the hell are you calling me? He was "oh I wanted to see a familar face blah blah blah". I told him to go call his ex he wanted to talk to so bad before I dumped his ass. Ohhh. Ha, she might have shut him down too. Oh well that is not too long to chill. If he contacts you again then happily arrange to meet him someplace and then stand him up. When he calls to ask why you are not there then say 'I'm sorry, something better came along'. It is not nice, but an option. Whatever happened to the convience store guy. Is he the hero in your romance novel?
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Ohhh. Ha, she might have shut him down too. Oh well that is not too long to chill. If he contacts you again then happily arrange to meet him someplace and then stand him up. When he calls to ask why you are not there then say 'I'm sorry, something better came along'. It is not nice, but an option. Whatever happened to the convience store guy. Is he the hero in your romance novel? Um that is the EX. He told me she was going camping with her bf haha. I told him I was seeing someone. He pressed me for details. He tried the "If you tell me who you're seeing, I'll tell you who I am seeing". I told him I didn't give two ****s about who he was seeing. It's not long to chill, except since I got back into the state, I've been with family who is now out of town for the weekend. It just makes me feel uncomfortable. I've been sitting here all night sipping on margaritas just enjoying myself, making the most of alone time. I got the possible D date on Sunday. Bowling date guy who may want to go out tonight or tomorrow.
underpants Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Wow, that is all kinds of drama. Him. What a freaking game "tell me who you are dating and I'll tell you who I am dating." Eeeek, turn off. Someone else was right he is looking for some away play. Do your best to enjoy the weekend.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Wow, that is all kinds of drama. Him. What a freaking game "tell me who you are dating and I'll tell you who I am dating." Eeeek, turn off. Someone else was right he is looking for some away play. Do your best to enjoy the weekend. Trust me I'm trying. The last thing I expected was a call from the Ex. It brought on a whole new level of ' I want to get the hell out of the house' this weekend.
Mycroft Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Well it might be getting to you, but you did great. Not only did you shut him down but it sounds like without hesitation, be proud You can never be friends with someone you saw as a potential mate, at least not from a guys perspective. Even if you think theyre just your friend, better believe they would jump you if given the chance. The "from a guys perspective" part bothered me ;p I do see it as something that most people can't handle, not guys or girls. Someone generally plays games and someone gets hurt. But not always! I have a friend of over 10 years that I dated when we first met. Of course the R wasnt long, im sure that helps, but its possible. And I have never had any desire to change our friendship and I doubt she ever has either. The things that made her attractive to me, also make her a good friend(shes a caring/kind/sweet person).
BCCA Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Well, the fact you weren't dating long is a huge factor. You hadn't fully bonded, emotionally, and wouldn't have the same lingering attachments. I'm guessing the decision to split was also somewhat amicable, as in, you were both ok with it. People who were told honestly how the other person felt, not strung along, used, or otherwise mistreated, could become friends one day. It would have to be once neither person is romantically interested in the other, which sometimes never happens. The problem is that 90% of people are lied to, led on, used, or otherwise treated like crap in one way or another. So, why would you ever want to be friends with someone that not only dumped you, but disregarded your feelings all together. Anything is possible, but youre talking about the exception to the rule.
BCCA Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 (shes a caring/kind/sweet person). That's not why you went out with her. I'm sure it helped, but I can promise you that was a small part of the reason you were interested romantically.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Well, the fact you weren't dating long is a huge factor. You hadn't fully bonded, emotionally, and wouldn't have the same lingering attachments. I'm guessing the decision to split was also somewhat amicable, as in, you were both ok with it. That's the thing though, as I eventually learned he was 'reconnecting' with an ex, that is now 'camping with her bf'. I wasn't okay with how I was being treated. Now he's 'sorry' that he was like that. But I 'made him be like that'. Eh. People who were told honestly how the other person felt, not strung along, used, or otherwise mistreated, could become friends one day. It would have to be once neither person is romantically interested in the other, which sometimes never happens. I was very much strung along. I was the 'just in case' girl. I can't be friends with him. The thought of how I was treat makes me want to throw up. :sick::sick: Yet he wants to know who I am seeing and what I've been up too. The problem is that 90% of people are lied to, led on, used, or otherwise treated like crap in one way or another. So, why would you ever want to be friends with someone that not only dumped you, but disregarded your feelings all together. I dumpted him, because he disregarding my feelings. I don't want to be friends. I want him to be back 'out of town'. Anything is possible, but youre talking about the exception to the rule. There is no exception here. I have no hopes. I just wish he wasnt' around, and didn't show up like this.
Trialbyfire Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 While I understand what you're saying BCCA, I have to disagree. As someone who's friends with exes, even my ex-H who cheated on me, you learn to forgive them as people. This for certain doesn't mean that anything romantic will ever happen again, as in the situation of the ex due to a loss of trust and respect from a romantic perspective. But, you can still see other redeeming qualities about them, that make them worth friendship. My ex has an amazing business mind, where he's got really good foresight and is good with strategic corporate direction. He understands where and how our industry has and will morph to. He's also got a wicked sense of humour and can be very entertaining, so why not? As for the other exes I'm in contact with, they were great guys in general. So once again, why not?
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I can't do this. I can't handle all the things going through my mind right now. I want so much to not be by myself at this exact moment. Dammit, I want him to stay the hell away from me. I don't want him in town. I want this whole factor to go away. I don't want to get punched in the face again. I don't want any more reminders of the stupid **** I put myself through. I don't deserve it. I'm better then this.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I was thinking about something that he had said to me on the phone. It went something like this... Dreamer, I'm not a complete *********. I felt bad that I was a jerk to you and I had to get mean with you because you brought it out in me. I told him that I don't bring crap out in him. He's his own person. I don't make him do anything. I had a dream. It was the new guy D giving me lines that X always used to. I woke up and realized and decided to commit to this: I will not let X bring me down. I will not allow his bullsh*t to interfere with any new relationships that may come. I'm better then that, I deserve better then what he gave me, and I will get treated better then what he did.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 He wont stop calling. He wont leave me alone. He called earlier, just plastered, calling me a psycho b*tch. I've only answered twice, the first time I didn't even look at the number, the second to tell his a$$ to leave me alone. Why is he does this????
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