xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Dreamergrl, didn't you say you wanted to take things slow with him without jumping the gun? You're letting him get to you by: foregoing dating other men and questioning his intentions If he has to work, then you should trust him enough to try to reschedule with him. If he doesn't respond to your approach then you know he hasn't really made you a priority which in turn means you shouldn't make him a priority as well.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I agree with what men on this forum say all the time, if a guy is really into a girl nothing will stop him from seeing her. And he would want to see you sooner rather than later. You'd know and you'd feel valued. Seriously. I can't exactly ask him to skip work. We'll see what he says to my suggestion of coming over after work. Dreamergrl, didn't you say you wanted to take things slow with him without jumping the gun? You're letting him get to you by: foregoing dating other men and questioning his intentions If he has to work, then you should trust him enough to try to reschedule with him. If he doesn't respond to your approach then you know he hasn't really made you a priority which in turn means you shouldn't make him a priority as well. Yeah, I am letting him get to me. *Slaps herself* Pull it together Dreamer.
Lucky555 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 your situation sounds very intense. The dynamics of everything would certainly cause someone to wonder about the guys intentions. Take a deep breath. first of all. I think its normal to feel insecure in a relationship where there is no talk of commitment or the next date in your case. Wouldn't it be nice if dating were more simple? It would be wonderful to have that but I suppose relationships take some work. What to do. Give him no ultimatums, no pressure, and do not commit to this guy (yet). Even if you like him and want him....well he has not exactly given it his all to "please you" so to speak. Now, don't contact him again. You have stated if he wanted to get together to contact you or go over. Make him work for you. I'm sure you can get more dates ect. But every man will take advantage of the situation if you make things too easy for him. Most of all have fun, keep it light, friendly, no pressure. Keep talking to other guys at least.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I just got this email in reply to "Why don't we do something when you get done with work: Well right now I just got home cause i have to take my grandma to the hospital, I had to switch days at work, she is not feeling good and right now i have a lot on my hands to deal with right now so I dunno when I'll be able to drive up there, you need to understand that I have to take care of my grandma when my aunt is not here and that means setting up her feeding tube n all that, right now I have to go and take her I'll get back you you later I'm really sorry hun but I have to put family first. Um hello... he's talking to me as if I've previously gave him a hard time because he's had to take care of his family. I can deal with that, but why is he coming at me like I had attacked him about it when I didn't even know she needed to go to the hospital? How can I put it that I understand work and family stuff, but I'm frustrated with the fact that it's been a few weeks since our last date?
Trialbyfire Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 "No worries. I totally get putting family first. Catcha' later."
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Which I got a reply of he's off wed-friday and we'll plan something then and until then he'll keep me updated. Ummm stupid question time... if he needs to take his Grandma to the hospital why is he still sitting here conversing with me?
northstar1 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 "No worries. I totally get putting family first. Catcha' later." Agreed. Send that, then stop making him a priority and worrying so much about it. You need to treat him as just another guy you are getting to know through casual dating. You aren't in a relationship, so expectations have to be low at this point. Leave the ball in his court and start taking up the other offers to go out with other guys. Way too early in the game to be this emotionally invested in this guy.
JustLooking123 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 There is an undercurrent of tension in his email. Things should be supereasy this early on! The tension and anxiety in this thread and in his email are such bad signs! Seriously, my sincere advice is to forget about dating for a while - until you're better able to balance the ups and downs of it - and work on yourself and creating a full life.
northstar1 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Which I got a reply of he's off wed-friday and we'll plan something then and until then he'll keep me updated. Ummm stupid question time... if he needs to take his Grandma to the hospital why is he still sitting here conversing with me? Oaky great, now leave it and see if he contacts you. As for the stupid question part, see there you go being suspicious and reading into everything. Not good for your mental health. If he gets in touch and wants to resched - great, if not, well then it wasn't meant to happen.
Trialbyfire Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Who knows why he's talking to you when he needs to take his grandmother to the hospital. It could be that he wants to ease your mind before going. It could be that he's playing you. It could be that she's not ready to go, that some packing needs to be done. It could be anything. Just reply casually, then if he doesn't make any advance plans, make plans of your own. If he comes back at you last minute, then he's SOL. You can't live life at his whim or on his schedule.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Screw it - I'm going out with bowling date tonight.
Trialbyfire Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Agreed. Send that, then stop making him a priority and worrying so much about it. You need to treat him as just another guy you are getting to know through casual dating. You aren't in a relationship, so expectations have to be low at this point. Leave the ball in his court and start taking up the other offers to go out with other guys. Way too early in the game to be this emotionally invested in this guy. Yes! Screw it - I'm going out with bowling date tonight.And YES!
northstar1 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 There ya go! Make your own happiness the priority and fit in dating around your schedule. Go have fun
Author dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I swear to God if X calls me one more freaking time this weekend, I'm going to walk my happy arse over there and shove the phone down his throat. What the h#ll does he want from me. I need a good night out.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 I quit, not hearing back from bowling date guy. This is like the third time we've tried this this week. He's got a busy life with work too. I should just take a nap.
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