Jump to content

How do you deal with the horrible feeling of emptiness? Loneliness?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

For those of you going through a heartbreak -- what brings you up when you feel empty or lonely?

 

And for those of you who have already gone through one -- what helped you the most?

 

Any insight?

Please and thank you.

 

Love you all.

Posted

I have really really really good plans that hang out with me whenver I want. And a good brother that does the same. Basically, I am not alone. I go to the gym 4-5 times a week, and concentrate on school and work.

 

I don't look at old memories, I don't listent to sad music. If I really need to get somthing off my chest, I write in my journal. Actually, at work, I can't really write in a journal, so I have a 10 page draft of an email that I keep adding on to when I vent. (It would never be sent to anyone, just a place to write things down).

 

And I just trust that, one day I won't hurt anymore.

Posted

I have my loneliest times when I'm between failed relationships and the kids are with their dad, the housecleaning is caught up, I've been to the gym already, the stores are closed (small town), my friends are busy with their families, I'm sick of the computer and TV (unless it's raining), if I haven't gotten into the wine yet I will go for a drive, crank up the music, head to the city with my favorite book and stop at a nice park and read.

 

If it's evening and I don't want to drive, I'll go get a movie or start a new project around the house. I've always thought I should go to a movie alone but have never had the nerve.

 

This summer if that happens, I might grab my book and go sit on the beach, if summer ever gets here. Today looks promising, sunny and warm, not hot yet.

Posted

watch TV, movies on PC

physical exercise

write blogs

learning Japanese ;-)

Posted

Laughing, even if it is at yourself.

Playing guitar and writing songs.

Remembering the bad things they did or said post break up.

Knowing that if I have had the ability to love, I will love again one day.

Working out.

Eating well.

Sleeping.

Smoking pot.

My wee bro.

Flirting (NOT sleeping around)

Knowing that I was loved at some point.

Finding new things about myself.

Devil Sticks.

Walking.

LS!

Hugs

Listening to Hector Brocklebank on a well known video streaming site begining with Y..

Being excited about not entirely knowing where life is going..

 

 

The list could go on....just try to keep positive. There will be moments when you feel down, but you have to combat them with other thoughts and feelings to keep you up and smiling :)

Posted

ugh, that is still the worst feeling, isn't it? i go for a walk, cook something, write. writing has been the most helpful. also i have a lot of good friends who don't mind if i call them and say, "i need another voice in my head besides my own - tell me something, anything." that horrible lonely/empty feeling still hits at least a couple of times a day and nothing erases it completely, but stuff like this takes the edge off a little. the best thing i've found is to remind myself that it's not going to feel like this forever. i know i'll live through it because i'm still alive, and there were quite a few moments in those first two weeks when that was pretty touch-and-go. so as trite and bogus as it sounds, even to me when i'm saying it to myself, i tell myself that it WILL pass. really. if you are still breathing, you will keep breathing. keep breathing.

Posted

I usually read...must have finished about fifty books in the last three months. Also, I check out the lonelyplanet website and plan for trips I might or might not take. Some people take walks...but I find it depressing. The key is to get excited about something and lose yourself in it. And there's always the lovely people of LS who will offer perspective/ advice/ sympathy/ jolt of reality/ ex bashing/ whatever the need of the day. Nothing works like venting.

 

 

 

LifeBeginsAt40,

 

you should really do the going to the cinema alone thing. It's not as nervewraking as it sounds. Arrive just before the movie starts to avoid being gawked at by happy couples and/or families and/or groups of friends. Nobody really bothers anyway...everyone's too busy trying to hold onto their popcorn and giant cola.

Posted
Arrive just before the movie starts to avoid being gawked at by happy couples and/or families and/or groups of friends. Nobody really bothers anyway...everyone's too busy trying to hold onto their popcorn and giant cola.

 

Good advice. Have to agree on the movie thing, I don't go alone often but it's really no big deal, once you do it once you'll see that. It's just getting past that first time. I guarantee no one in the theater will be thinking anything of you showing up alone.

 

As for dealing with the feelings of emptiness or loneliness, I'm still looking for my outlet. My work is suffering because I can't concentrate and being a creative field if I can't concentrate I can't produce.

 

Reading often works (HIGHLY recommend My Booky Wook by Russel Brand for a great light read).

Online games

Writing has been a good outlet.

TV series marathons on DVD (Dexter!!)

 

These are all stopgap measures right now for me though, I'm pretty consumed by the whole thing. I've recently ordered some books about coping and dealing with the type of person she is, hoping they help me get over the hump and get to the healing part.

Posted

yay for writing, emmortal. i set up an anonymous blog and have been writing a lot about this dreadful process. it's sort of the only thing that's kept me out of the hospital. i highly recommend it to anyone who's been hurt and is trying to cope.

 

here's mine:

http://theshoutoutloud.blogspot.com

Posted

i also need some good ways to deal with this... just decided its time to move on but i cant stop thinking about my ex .. i feel empty

Posted

You know what helps me a lot when I get into that "woe is me feeling"? When I read something good and empowering on LS, I cut and paste it and keep it on my desktop. Then I can open it and read it whenever I want. I've also bookmarked the links under Caliguy's signature about NC. They are VERY empowering and always get me back into the right frame of mind.

  • Author
Posted

crackerjax9,

 

we will get through this together. Hang in there! I get just as down as you are sometimes. I understand how exhausting it is to have your mind racing 24/7, but remember we all have each other's backs here in LS. Don't lose hope.

 

nolanola,

 

I honestly really enjoyed your reply. Reading something empowering really does help get your mind back on track!

Posted

Unfortunately I can't help here. I am going through the same thing and I can't figure out how to get back to myself. I too feel that I am empty inside. I can't figure out how to live life anymore with any amount of happiness. It seems like I am just going though the motions.

Posted

It's really tough sometimes, for sure. I hang out with my friends a lot these days, but I do think some time to myself is healthy and productive, too, if sometimes lonely.

 

Daytime is usually not a big deal. Just today, I rode my bike to a coffee shop to work on the schedule and plan for a huge, exciting project I just got (I work for myself), had some yummy iced green tea, went to an interior design store I like and got a few cute little weird dishes and a nice glass pitcher for making iced tea this summer, then went to Trader Joe's, leisurely browsed around, and treated myself to some nice wine and cheese and other little indulgences I don't get all the time, as a small treat for landing this awesome project.

 

If I feel like staying home (like tonight), I'll tidy up the house, light some incense, maybe smoke a little herb, listen to some great music, play guitar, write music, watch a few episodes of whatever I'm into at the time (lately Six Feet Under), maybe work up the motivation to record some of my music, do little organization projects I've been putting off forever, play piano.

 

I'm looking at this as time to be with myself and figure out more clearly what my strengths and weaknesses are, so I can go into the next relationship on stronger ground.

  • Author
Posted
It's really tough sometimes, for sure. I hang out with my friends a lot these days, but I do think some time to myself is healthy and productive, too, if sometimes lonely.

 

Daytime is usually not a big deal. Just today, I rode my bike to a coffee shop to work on the schedule and plan for a huge, exciting project I just got (I work for myself), had some yummy iced green tea, went to an interior design store I like and got a few cute little weird dishes and a nice glass pitcher for making iced tea this summer, then went to Trader Joe's, leisurely browsed around, and treated myself to some nice wine and cheese and other little indulgences I don't get all the time, as a small treat for landing this awesome project.

 

If I feel like staying home (like tonight), I'll tidy up the house, light some incense, maybe smoke a little herb, listen to some great music, play guitar, write music, watch a few episodes of whatever I'm into at the time (lately Six Feet Under), maybe work up the motivation to record some of my music, do little organization projects I've been putting off forever, play piano.

 

I'm looking at this as time to be with myself and figure out more clearly what my strengths and weaknesses are, so I can go into the next relationship on stronger ground.

 

Damn, you really sound like you're doing good. Smart woman! You're going to get places and be very happy, I can tell.

 

I'm trying my hardest to go down the same road. :)

×
×
  • Create New...