CantGetItRite Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 So I met a hot little 22 year old guy. He knew I was older (35) and after talking for a few weeks we hooked up. I'm just gonna say it, I'm doing it for the sex. WOW young, fit guys. WHEW! Anyways we've hooked up twice now and he says he doesn't want a relationship which is perfectly fine with me b/c really wouldn't work with the age gap. But he's very, very into me I'm afraid. He doesn't act like any other "just sex" partner I've been with. He's very cuddly after we've had sex, kissing me on the forehead and shoulders, sleeping right up next to me holding me. And if we're just hanging out the next day he's always touching me, kissing on me. I'm honestly loving it b/c he's so cute, but I hope this kid isn't falling for me. He invited me out with his friends this weekend, which I declined. I look about 28 so it's not like I'm some old looking lady, but a night out with early-mid twenties kids? Eh, no thanks. What does it sound like to you? I don't want to hurt this kid but damn "its" so great! Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Sounds fine. Give me a real problem. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 he says he doesn't want a relationship which is perfectly fine with me b/c really wouldn't work with the age gap. This part sounds perfect, youre on the same page here! But no so much this: He invited me out with his friends this weekend I've never, in all my life, taken a booty call to meet my friends or go for a night out on the town. Your interactions should always be at someones house, and involve getting down, and little more. I've found that early 20's guys fall fast and hard, I know I did. I think declining his invitation was the right thing, but if it was me, I would start doing less of the cuddling, sleepover type stuff. I would just say 'hey want to hang out for a couple hours? I have to get up early, but could use a little company before I go to bed ' and see if you can do the deed, and go your own way. To be perfectly honest, I dont know that Ive ever purposefully stayed over at my booty call's house, unless I was drunk or wanted round 2 in the morning. Sounds like he could be falling for you. Link to post Share on other sites
lovingguy21 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 So I met a hot little 22 year old guy. He knew I was older (35) and after talking for a few weeks we hooked up. I'm just gonna say it, I'm doing it for the sex. WOW young, fit guys. WHEW! Anyways we've hooked up twice now and he says he doesn't want a relationship which is perfectly fine with me b/c really wouldn't work with the age gap. But he's very, very into me I'm afraid. He doesn't act like any other "just sex" partner I've been with. He's very cuddly after we've had sex, kissing me on the forehead and shoulders, sleeping right up next to me holding me. And if we're just hanging out the next day he's always touching me, kissing on me. I'm honestly loving it b/c he's so cute, but I hope this kid isn't falling for me. He invited me out with his friends this weekend, which I declined. I look about 28 so it's not like I'm some old looking lady, but a night out with early-mid twenties kids? Eh, no thanks. What does it sound like to you? I don't want to hurt this kid but damn "its" so great! Im going through the same thing... I'm a 21 year old and he is 42. We do the same exact things you guys do. He says he doesn't want a relationship, but i think he is loving it at the same time. My guy is more so scared well because im guessing he has been hurt before. He don't want a relationship with me but at the same time he don't wanna hurt me. My whole beef with the younger older issue is why do they lead us and then don't wanna go further? 1st off, laying down with someone you have to remember that you can possibly get attached to them. So the best thing is not even get involved with them if you know that a younger person is not what you want. It annoys me when he say "Im to young" because it's like didn't you know all this before getting into it? but i guess he thought it would be just sex, and it caught him off guard. A younger older relationship can work if you want it to. But it seems like most of the older guys are so close minded and won't even give it a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantGetItRite Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 I thought it was understood from the get-go that all I was interested in was some hot sex from a young guy. I NEVER wanted anything else! And he knew this. But I'll let you in on the mind of an older person. Or me at least. Although I'm a woman, I think like a man more than most. My deal is that when I was in my early/mid 20's I just wanted to have a great time. Sure I fell "in love" here and there, but it was all just so immature. So with this young boy, I would never want to take his "youth" away from him. I expect him to go out with his friends, make bad decisions, fall in/out of love a few times and if I were to try to be in a serious relationship with him I would almost feel guilty. Like I was robbing him of what every young person needs to go through just to get an idea of what curve balls life can throw at you. So maybe that's what the older man you're involved with MIGHT be thinking. I myself could never be serious with a really young person. Just not a good idea and not fair IMO. But it sure is fun. Baby you're 21. Go have fun, live life, make bad decisions and get the hell away from the 42 year old man. Good GOD! There are so many cuties out there and at 35 I don't even like 42 year olds!! He may be in it for the ego trip. I mean, he's 42 and has this 21 year old babe? YOU should have the upper hand if anything. At 42 he may have been hurt, we all have, but he should be able to mentaly be strong enough to handle it and not have some bogus excuse that you'll be the one to "do him in." PLEASE! He's toying with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantGetItRite Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 I've found that early 20's guys fall fast and hard, I know I did. THIS is what I was curious about. I've never been a early 20's guy so haven't a clue about them. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT I will not screw with this kid's head, just wanted some fun! He wanted me to hang out with him today after our night last night. I told him I had to go to work. He says I work too much. I told him he's 22 his job is to have fun and be irresponsible and I'm 35 so unfortunately I have to work and pay bills. Cougaring is hard work! And really, this is not in my nature, just a fluky thing that unfortunately is probably backfiring! Link to post Share on other sites
calazhage Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 If a guy tells he you he does not want a relationship with you, that really means he DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. Don't worry, he just needs to get off and you supply an easy outlet for that. Since you both want the same thing what is the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
sam light Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I for one enjoy some affection with my "just sex" relationships. Some people can hug, squeeze, and kiss without falling in love. You maybe do the same to a kitten, but you;re not in love with it. But surely some can't turn on the affection fountain without being in love. You need to find out what type he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 For goodness sake lady! You're 35 years old. No one here knows your situation but if your gut is telling you he is falling for you, regardless of what comes out of his mouth... then the chances are, he is falling for you...!!! You know this by now, you don't need us to sit here and confirm it for you, do you..?! You need to do the right thing and let him go make his mistakes. Oh and none of this backing away and 'Im busy' crap either. Give it to him straight. That way he'll learn how it's done with a backbone and won't take any crap forward with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Humm.. from the feeling of your post.. methink.. you're the one who is scared of getting hurt.. but I hope this kid isn't falling for me... again.. methink you're more into him than he is into you. I've been with tons of hot young guys.. and trust me.. I've been slightly stalked by some.. but all they really want is sex.. nothing more.. especially a young 22 yrs old.. his hormones are sooo high that he would F you night and day. I still see a 25 yr old from time to time.. even though he says he likes me verrry much.. I know why he's here.. So.. please don't assume he's falling for you... there's a slight chance that YOU will be falling for him way before he's falling for you. Link to post Share on other sites
calazhage Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Exactly, it seems the OP is the one getting attached. When I was 23, I was sleeping with an older women. My problem is (not sure if it is a problem) sex does not turn me on much if no feelings are involved. As in I would not sleep with a woman more than once if there was no deeper connection. I have always been like that. So with this older woman, I truly did like her. I had feelings. However it was very easy for me to distinguish the difference between feelings and wanting a full blown relationship in this case. I was into her, of course, but would never have wanted more than what we had. Link to post Share on other sites
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