rya794 Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 when i was questioning whether or not i wanted to try and work things out i decided that i would not tell her (Mostly our mutual friends) for two reasons. Mostly because i knew that she would have trouble overcoming the embarrassment of being a cheater and secondly because i didnt want to look like such a pussy for taking her back to all of the people that we hang out with. Now that i know I'm not going to stay with her i feel like i would get some satisfaction by letting them know what she really did. i know this is strictly for revenge but I'm hoping that i can sway some of her friends away from her and cause her as much pain as possible. I don't know if revenge threads are tolerated on these boards but can anyone think of a reason why i shouldn't.
lostsunsets Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Dump her for sure. Tell people who ask, that you're not together anymore. If they ask why, then you tell them that she cheated on you. You are being truthful not vengeful.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I don't know if revenge threads are tolerated on these boards but can anyone think of a reason why i shouldn't. Your a pussy if you don't do it.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I absolutely and completely understand how you feel. I, too, wanted revenge on my XW after her pretty brutal, serial betrayal. However, I don't think I ever told somebody about her cheating solely out of a desire to cause her pain or get revenge (though I certainly thought about it). It just so happened that, in our case, some of the mutual friends were, well, close friends of mine. I was in a lot of pain, and who are we supposed to turn to for support in difficult times if not our close friends? XW was pissed off that I told anybody, but as I said to her in an email, my need to recover my strength, happiness and sanity following her revelations and her ending the relationship took total precedence over any obligation I might have had to protect her precious reputation. I take some satisfaction and pride from the fact that I didn't slag to anybody just out of spite or out of the desire to hurt her. I'm not perfect or a saint by any means, but I think I conducted myself pretty reasonably in the circumstances. I place quite a premium on being able to sleep well at night knowing that I've done the right thing and followed my conscience. Which is more than I could say for her. It's been over five years, and I regret neither having told the people I told in the way I did, nor the fact that I didn't try to destroy her out of a desire to damage her or get revenge. Also... if your only motivation is revenge and causing her pain, I think it could backfire on you. The more revenge-driven you seem about it, the more successfully she'll be at generating sympathy from those friends. She'll be the person who did something stupid and selfish; you'll be the "evil" one out to bring her down.
mark982 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 hard to get in trouble when you tell people the truth.
SueBee3490 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I told his brothers' wives and my brothers and sisters that he cheated is the reason we would not be together. I didn't look at it as revenge but because I didn't want him lying (yet again) to his family by saying our breakup was somehow because of something I did. His family lives in a different state than us and I could see him telling them something along the lines that I was the one cheating, etc. He already drug my name through the mud with his OW's - he wasn't going to do it with relatives. So in my case it wasn't revenge, I just wanted the truth to be known.
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