Nikki Sahagin Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I guess one of the things that i'm finding hardest to deal with, is that my ex, who I loved SO much, and would do ANYTHING for, has transformed into something I DESPISE. I almost feel sick thinking of how much I did for him. I looked after him for 5 days when he had mumps, not worrying if i'd catch it, even with exams coming up. Brought him food, drink, took him on dates, wrote him poetry. Why did I waste so much love, on someone that has become a complete DOUCHE? And he really has. It makes me sick now to think i've hugged him, kissed him, had sex with him, SPENT MONEY AND TIME ON HIM. He's become someone I don't recognise. Do you ever feel that, YOU'RE the idiot for not seeing it? For not acting on it? For losing yourself in them? NEVER again will I let myself be taken for an idiot.
confusedcookie Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I guess one of the things that i'm finding hardest to deal with, is that my ex, who I loved SO much, and would do ANYTHING for, has transformed into something I DESPISE. I almost feel sick thinking of how much I did for him. I looked after him for 5 days when he had mumps, not worrying if i'd catch it, even with exams coming up. Brought him food, drink, took him on dates, wrote him poetry. Why did I waste so much love, on someone that has become a complete DOUCHE? And he really has. It makes me sick now to think i've hugged him, kissed him, had sex with him, SPENT MONEY AND TIME ON HIM. He's become someone I don't recognise. Do you ever feel that, YOU'RE the idiot for not seeing it? For not acting on it? For losing yourself in them? NEVER again will I let myself be taken for an idiot. i remember you saying he was your first. me too, you're more unguarded and unprepared... that's why it hurts so much =(
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 Yeah he was my first - and seemed so perfect then. But its kind of like that was one person and this is a different one. I'll always care for that old person, but this new guy - I actually HATE him. I know hate is the opposite of love, and its so true; you crazily, passionately DETEST them. But thankfully I don't want to see or hear from him at all, I don't have that urge anymore, I just want my stuff back...(which he is so far ignoring my requests for).
bluewolf17 Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Nikki, Forgive me if you already told me, but are you still in contact with him? What stuff is so important? Not trying to be mean, but it sounds like he really hurt you. I hope your not still hanging around for him.
Soul Bear Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Nikki, Blue has a point here. If its at the stage where he is going NC the best thing you could do right now is vanish from his life. I read your posts too, and I think you got the shi*ty end of the stick. If its important things at his place that you need, and are worth a great deal to you either financially or sentimentally, I would get someone else to get them for you. This douche is obviously being unfair to you, and thats not nice. Peace and Light SoulBear P.S I also wanted to guess what 4 letter word the title of your thread could be...does it start with C by any chance?! ''c u next tuesday'' Keep smiling and laughing when you can, it will really help you out, even if you dont want to or feel like it.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 Nikki, Forgive me if you already told me, but are you still in contact with him? What stuff is so important? Not trying to be mean, but it sounds like he really hurt you. I hope your not still hanging around for him. No we aren't. He emailed me once since the breakup to wish me well in exams and I replied thankyou. I only emailed him to ask if he could check for any of my things and i'd get someone to get them from him (jewellery/clothes/games) Its not just the monetary value - its the fact that there's no reason why I shouldn't be given my things back. I just spoke to a friend who said her ex NEVER returned my stuff. Its petty to me. He did really hurt me. I don't want to see or hear from him, I just want my things returned and then thats it.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 Nikki, Blue has a point here. If its at the stage where he is going NC the best thing you could do right now is vanish from his life. I read your posts too, and I think you got the shi*ty end of the stick. If its important things at his place that you need, and are worth a great deal to you either financially or sentimentally, I would get someone else to get them for you. This douche is obviously being unfair to you, and thats not nice. Peace and Light SoulBear P.S I also wanted to guess what 4 letter word the title of your thread could be...does it start with C by any chance?! ''c u next tuesday'' Keep smiling and laughing when you can, it will really help you out, even if you dont want to or feel like it. The thing is though, I think even in the harshest breakup there is no reason why someone cannot return your things. That to me ammounts to theft. They have things belonging to you, and whether its a photograph, a pencil or your favourite dress, it is YOURS and you deserve it back. I see it as he is being petty and pathetic. I'm not harrassing him, pestering him, i'm getting someone ELSE to get it, but he is blanking me....how childish? Its a matter of PRINCIPLE. I deserve my things returned to me. I'm not putting up with basically being stolen from...because HE chose to break up with me. My things are mine. I just don't see why he's being so petty.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 Oh sorry guys! I replied to this thinking it was the 'he wont return my stuff' thread! No i'm definately not holding out for him - but I am VERY angry.
notalone Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I guess one of the things that i'm finding hardest to deal with, is that my ex, who I loved SO much, and would do ANYTHING for, has transformed into something I DESPISE. I almost feel sick thinking of how much I did for him. I looked after him for 5 days when he had mumps, not worrying if i'd catch it, even with exams coming up. Brought him food, drink, took him on dates, wrote him poetry. Why did I waste so much love, on someone that has become a complete DOUCHE? And he really has. It makes me sick now to think i've hugged him, kissed him, had sex with him, SPENT MONEY AND TIME ON HIM. He's become someone I don't recognise. Do you ever feel that, YOU'RE the idiot for not seeing it? For not acting on it? For losing yourself in them? NEVER again will I let myself be taken for an idiot. I am there with you Nikki. Sometimes when I see the kind of things he says on facebook and the complete disregard for my feelings with which he started posting pics of his new chick ten days after the break-up, I wonder is it the same guy who used to walk with me to the neighbourhood 24/7 store at the dead of december nights for icecream??? P.S: Yes, I am still hurting from the fact that he moved on in a week. And yes, I still give in to temptation and check his page and come across something heartbreaking and then put the blanket over my head and try to forget it. Gah...I don't like myself.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I am there with you Nikki. Sometimes when I see the kind of things he says on facebook and the complete disregard for my feelings with which he started posting pics of his new chick ten days after the break-up, I wonder is it the same guy who used to walk with me to the neighbourhood 24/7 store at the dead of december nights for icecream??? P.S: Yes, I am still hurting from the fact that he moved on in a week. And yes, I still give in to temptation and check his page and come across something heartbreaking and then put the blanket over my head and try to forget it. Gah...I don't like myself. Try to be angry. The sadness is VERY appealing sometimes, the whole woe-is-me thing, and sometimes its necessary to have an hour/day etc like that. But the anger will make you feel powerful and also the fact that you are angry is recognition that its THEM that did something bad TO YOU, its not your fault (of course we all play our parts) but we aren't the ones that choose to end the relationship, cheat, lie etc as is the case for many on this board. So use the anger to remind yourself, you DON'T deserve this, you deserve better. The sadness can make you feel like you do deserve it or that you did something wrong. We ALL do things wrong. But in certain situations, if your ex was controlling, manipulative, insecure etc, you know its not you're fault deep down.
fairycake Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Yeah I feel like my ex changed too. It's horrid as you think you know them then they become someone you don't like, and you don't know which is the 'real' them. Mine split with me cos of problems he had with his own life, work stress, depression and he said he had nothing to give and was bad at relationships. He said this a week after I'd last seen him (he said he needed time to himself which I gave him) and 2 days after saying 'I love you and I don't want to split up'. Before he needed the space he told me he loved me everyday and there were no big probs with us and I accepted his other issues. Wasn't enough though. Few days after the split he just was cold and distant and I thought how could you adore me one min then act like you don't give a **** the next? I don't like people who turn their emotions off. I loved who he was. I don't like the cold selfish person he is now. Maybe it's only when things go wrong we see their worst side.
t0ri Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Yeah, my ex turned into a complete ass and showed me sides of him the past few months that I could've never imagined existed. It's really quite scary to think that I invested over two years of my life in him, only to see his "true colors" after all that time. Even if he doesn't care about me, it is horrible the way he has treated me. He wouldn't treat a stranger, or anyone else, that way. Just me...the person who loved and cared for him the most, and he knew it. And he seems to feel absolutely no remorse, and feels fine hurting me (some of it was deliberate, I'm positive), and then moving on with his life. Hmm. Makes me really nervous to date again.
Recommended Posts