sunshinegirl Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 CaliGuy, in some ways I can relate to your frustration. I'm 35 and have found the dating scene, by and large, disappointing and even a cause for hopelessness. The best strategy I have discovered? Calling off dating altogether for a spell - about 2 months so far. And I am more calm, centered, and by-and-large content having done so, than I have been in a long time. It's not a permanent strategy, but I was getting so frustrated and down with the dating scene that it was the only thing I could think to do to regain some perspective, optimism, and hope that I will eventually meet the right kind of guy. I also have two friends who took significant time off of the dating scene (1 year, and 2 years) and when they finally did start dating again, it wasn't long before they each found someone great who makes them very happy. Maybe, given the headspace you are in, it would help to pull back from the whole thing and simply redirect time, thought, energy, toward other things?
westernxer Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Yes but if there is no attraction then there's no motivation to learn more about them. I can't get myself excited about someone I am not attracted to. Some of them I've gone on second/third dates. One went as far as 5 dates before she let me know that she doesn't want kids (when she plainly knew I did). Is SoCal, it's really difficult to have more than one date with someone if you're not attracted to them. Too many distractions. I've been on both ends of it. LOL
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