ctx2 Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Recall that i've been seeing this guy for 2 months or so and we have been on dates, met friends, and become intimate. He's even met my daughter and we've hung out at my home to watch things together with her. However, during Mothers Day weekend, he flaked and withdrew completely, but everyone here agreed that it was okay since he had lost his mother around that time last year and the two had been EXTREMELY close. He also talked with me about it too. We haven't had the talk even though he has referred to me as his girlfriend a couple of times. Last weekend, he had a conference and I went to see my sis and brother in law for his birthday. The guy was going to be in the same town after his conference to celebrate a friend of his b-days and we accepted that we had these plans prior to getting together so each of us would see them through and hopefully, we'd catch up before the weekend was over. He text all weekend from his conference and his friends and when Sunday came around, he asked me to come over to meet some of them, but i'd had an acccident and was at my sis's on pain meds and couldn't drive. He was across town and came to my sis's and we had our first sleep over. He was very excited by this and even pointed it out that it was the first time he'd get to sleep the entire night with me. Weekend ended. We came back home and kept in touch via text til he came over Wednesday. Since i'm injured, my daughter is going out of town with her grandparents and I sent him a text to let him know that he could sleep over again this weekend. I sent this yesterday and he didn't answer me til 7 or so yesterday evening. He said it sounded great and he would find out when he was going to be done with everything since he's helping a friend with his ranch on Sat. He apologized for not getting back to me sooner and vaguely said he'd become extremely busy. I asked if everything was okay and he said yes. So, I decided to call him last night (which I never do) and he didn't answer nor return my call and there's been no text. We're teachers, so I understand his busy excuse, but I also know (without him telling me) that there is true turmoil in his fam that he hasn't told me about. He's barely touched the surface of it and I feel like he's withdrawing again. We have no plans tonight and I hate the idea of him coming over tomorrow night when he's done with everything if we haven't talked until then. Does that make sense? We're not booty calls, but I sometimes feel like the FWB which i'm not in to, so I know i'm going to have to ask where this is going, but what do you think. He's so young to have to deal with his sis (who's out of control) and his drunken father, but I don't know if it's that or if he just likes to see me when he likes or what. I'm confused. HELP!!!
Author ctx2 Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 I just sent him a text that said the following: "What r u up to tonight? I think I may leave work early" I figure if I don't hear back from him (much like Mothers Day Weekend) and he goes out, but then wants to come over after he's done with his friend tomorrow night, that i've fallen into FWB zone and i'll have to tell him this isn't what I want and we need to stop the intamacy. How does that sound? Am I jumping the gun again? Overevaluating? I'm so bad at this.
mammax3 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I don't think you jumped the gun, and I think if he comes booty calling, then don't be intimate tonight. I wouldn't automatically assume he's looking for a FWB - I'd hold off on that discussion until a little more time passes, give him a chance to sort out a bit. Keep us posted.
Author ctx2 Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 So he did contact me on Friday to see how my foot was doing (I broke it last Sunday) and I told him I was home early from work cuz it was kinda throbbing. He offerred to stop by and told him that was fine. He came and greeted me with a big hug. He was tired because he had done his Thursday night thing with his best friend and apologized for not returning my call, but had "left his phone in the truck". He was very sweet and concerned and nothing happened. I had to take my daughter to a swim party and he was getting ready to rest that evening because of some ranching stuff he was doing over the weekend. These plans had been in place prior to us seeing each other. He came over Saturday and was able to stay the night and we had what I perceieved as fun in doing so. He had to get up early Sun. for the ranch stuff and was going to come over again that night, but text me that he was too tired...he'd been herding cattle and other things like that. While I was disappointed, I kinda know how hard that work is and told him that was fine...especially because he was getting up and doing it again Monday. So, last night he text me to see how my day went and I let him know. He was super tired again, but that didn't bother me as my daughter was back home. I found out, on my own that I was wrong about his mom. I thought she passed away in March of last year, but apparently she didn't pass away until tomorrow! He hasn't opened up to me about this in great detail, but I would expect that he's gonna be distant given the situation. I know that I need to talk to him and see if we're exclusive, but it always feels like bad timing. Suggestions...thoughts?
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