BCCA Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Please, please, please don't go back to this guy if he comes calling again. You deserve better. I'm more concerned that she will call him again. Seems to me he wasnt really looking for her, she kept calling him, even after his intentions were pretty clear. Now that they are CRYSTAL clear, there should really be no need to talk to the guy ever again. PC, just dont lie to your self, you dont want a booty call with this guy, and he's already told you this is going nowhere otherwise.
Cherished Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Well if he's cumming that quickly that means he is overly attracted, you don't just come quick without an attraction physically. Maybe he's a virgin. This is typical of very sexually inexperienced men. In any case...this is exactly how it happens when you give it up too soon to a guy.
BCCA Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Well if he's cumming that quickly that means he is overly attracted, you don't just come quick without an attraction physically. Maybe he's a virgin. This is typical of very sexually inexperienced men. In any case...this is exactly how it happens when you give it up too soon to a guy. In this case, I think he's coming as fast as he is because thats all he wants from her: a place to park his dick for the evening. He doesnt care if she thinks he sucks in bed, he just wants to get his rocks off and go on about his business. There are a million reasons guys come as fast as they do, and it hardly ever has to do with being over attracted. Some of the hottest girls Ive ever slept with took me the longest to come, and by contrast, some of the so-so girls I left the bar with - took like 10min and I was done with them.
kdark Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 In this case, I think he's coming as fast as he is because thats all he wants from her: a place to park his dick for the evening. He doesnt care if she thinks he sucks in bed, he just wants to get his rocks off and go on about his business. There are a million reasons guys come as fast as they do, and it hardly ever has to do with being over attracted. Some of the hottest girls Ive ever slept with took me the longest to come, and by contrast, some of the so-so girls I left the bar with - took like 10min and I was done with them. This is true. I have to pace myself during sex so I don't cum so early so that my girlfriend can get the enjoyment she wants. I coule easily use her as a humping bag and get myself off, but I actually like her.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I'm more concerned that she will call him again. Seems to me he wasnt really looking for her, she kept calling him, even after his intentions were pretty clear. Now that they are CRYSTAL clear, there should really be no need to talk to the guy ever again. PC, just dont lie to your self, you dont want a booty call with this guy, and he's already told you this is going nowhere otherwise. I won't call him. I tried erasing all the memory on my phone, and if i have to, I'll avoid going on aim. I have to have a bit more self discipline with myself, and maybe after a week, I'll have forgotten about him.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 In this case, I think he's coming as fast as he is because thats all he wants from her: a place to park his dick for the evening. He doesnt care if she thinks he sucks in bed, he just wants to get his rocks off and go on about his business. There are a million reasons guys come as fast as they do, and it hardly ever has to do with being over attracted. Some of the hottest girls Ive ever slept with took me the longest to come, and by contrast, some of the so-so girls I left the bar with - took like 10min and I was done with them. that line almost makes me want to cry. I feel like I'm letting his fast cumming validate my attractiveness.
BCCA Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 that line almost makes me want to cry. I feel like I'm letting his fast cumming validate my attractiveness. It has next to nothing to do with how attractive you are, and everything to do with the value he puts on pleasing you. If he doesnt value you as relationship material, than obviouly he doesnt care if youre satisfied when he gets off. He just wants to get laid, thats what going 'nowhere' means. Like someone said, when its a girl you care about, guys tend to take it slower and try and make it as enjoyable for the woman as possible. But if all you are is a booty call, its only about the booty. Hang in there, you did a great thing today and we all would pat you on the back if we could. You stood up for yourself, and got the answer you needed. You should be proud of yourself right now, not worried about Douchebag McGee's sexual inadequecies.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Thanks BCCA, but I feel like I need to take a break from LS. Despite how much I love this place and like everyone on it, I can't help but feel that if I don't take a break from LS, I'm going to go crazy. I need to focus on myself right now, and try to figure things out.
BCCA Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Thanks BCCA, but I feel like I need to take a break from LS. Despite how much I love this place and like everyone on it, I can't help but feel that if I don't take a break from LS, I'm going to go crazy. I need to focus on myself right now, and try to figure things out. I agree, and I recomend a break from dating, too. I wish you the best, you'll be just fine
MissHollywood Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I won't call him. I tried erasing all the memory on my phone, and if i have to, I'll avoid going on aim. I have to have a bit more self discipline with myself, and maybe after a week, I'll have forgotten about him. For your sake, I hope it happens this way.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I know I said I should take a break from LS, but right now, the rejection is hitting me hard. I had been hoping for a productive day. I started it really well, waking up at 7 and did a little resistance training. I was calm and completely aware of my plans for the day: go to the gym, do my laundry, and go out. But while that sounded so amazing in my head, everything went wrong an hour ago. I headed out to the gym in a rush, my mind concentrated on getting there on time for the megamix aerobics class, but when I arrived, I realized I had forgotten my wallet with my membership card in it. I walked home sweaty and disappointed, and by the time I entered my apartment, my mind is reeling and now my eyes are teary. I'm trying so hard to be positive right now, but why is this even happening to me?
westernxer Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I'm trying so hard to be positive right now, but why is this even happening to me? Love gone awry tends to exacerbate even the tiniest mishaps, especially ones spaced so closely together.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Love gone awry tends to exacerbate even the tiniest mishaps, especially ones spaced so closely together. True. But I hate how my emotions just come and go. Like right now, I feel better, but I wonder how the next few days will go. Will I relapse? Will I crumble under the pressure? Gah, it's so hard sometimes.
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Just get angry. Think how bad he treated you and how he used you and how you deserve so much better and start getting pissed off at him. Find some things you really can't stand about him on top of how he treated you and if you start to think he is so wonderful then give yourself a reality check. Quit thinking he is so fabulous because he isn't. He treated you like crap and exploited your good nature. The guy's a dick.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Just get angry. Think how bad he treated you and how he used you and how you deserve so much better and start getting pissed off at him. Find some things you really can't stand about him on top of how he treated you and if you start to think he is so wonderful then give yourself a reality check. Quit thinking he is so fabulous because he isn't. He treated you like crap and exploited your good nature. The guy's a dick. Hey Amaysngrace. I don't know about hating him although I really want to do just that. But remembering all the guys in the past that I've came to hate, wouldn't doing just that mean that I'm putting too much energy into him? I tried telling myself that it's okay to resent him, yet I honestly can't do it. I tell myself wow he's a jackass, but he wasn't really so. He was really nice to me, it was just the sex that made everything frustrating. :: sigh:: Now I feel like I'm defending him. I think the point right now is I don't have my emotions under control. He can make me feel like I'm all giddy, but then he can also make me so detached.
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Hey Amaysngrace. I don't know about hating him although I really want to do just that. But remembering all the guys in the past that I've came to hate, wouldn't doing just that mean that I'm putting too much energy into him? I tried telling myself that it's okay to resent him, yet I honestly can't do it. I tell myself wow he's a jackass, but he wasn't really so. He was really nice to me, it was just the sex that made everything frustrating. :: sigh:: Now I feel like I'm defending him. I think the point right now is I don't have my emotions under control. He can make me feel like I'm all giddy, but then he can also make me so detached. I know it's been asked before and I'm not sure where it all led to but how is your relationship with your dad? I'm only asking because it seems like you try real hard to have a man in your life. And a man's acceptance of you somehow makes you determine your own self-worth. It's a bit unhealthy.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I know it's been asked before and I'm not sure where it all led to but how is your relationship with your dad? I'm only asking because it seems like you try real hard to have a man in your life. And a man's acceptance of you somehow makes you determine your own self-worth. It's a bit unhealthy. I don't think my relationship with men reflects my relationship with my father. It's just that I have low self esteem issues and I seek out men for validation. Aside from that I think I'm perfectly normal? I know it's a bit unhealthy to seek another person's acceptance, but I didn't think I was seeking artist guy's acceptance. I merely tried too hard to please him to get him to change his mind about me. I was wrong in my approach.
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I don't think my relationship with men reflects my relationship with my father. It's just that I have low self esteem issues and I seek out men for validation. Aside from that I think I'm perfectly normal? I know it's a bit unhealthy to seek another person's acceptance, but I didn't think I was seeking artist guy's acceptance. I merely tried too hard to please him to get him to change his mind about me. I was wrong in my approach. Okay but you dodged the question. How is your relationship with your dad?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Okay but you dodged the question. How is your relationship with your dad? I don't have one.
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I don't have one. I'm sorry to hear that. That sucks for you. XO They say that the father-daughter connection has a whole lot to do with the dynamics of your adult relationships. You may want to read up about it. (((hugs)))
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I'm sorry to hear that. That sucks for you. XO They say that the father-daughter connection has a whole lot to do with the dynamics of your adult relationships. You may want to read up about it. (((hugs))) I heard about that as well. But I feel like my personal dating profile is following the shadows of my mother. I've seen the relationships she's in, marrying men who are abusive and putting up with them. She lets them take advantage of her and while she can't see it, I can it clearly as light as day. Sometimes I wonder if I'm turning into her, and letting guys take advantage of me, just so I can keep them around. I think I need to move out.
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I heard about that as well. But I feel like my personal dating profile is following the shadows of my mother. I've seen the relationships she's in, marrying men who are abusive and putting up with them. She lets them take advantage of her and while she can't see it, I can it clearly as light as day. Sometimes I wonder if I'm turning into her, and letting guys take advantage of me, just so I can keep them around. I think I need to move out. It's probably two-fold. No she is not setting a good example and you are following her by being abused by guys. Okay maybe not abused but yeah in a way you are. This last guy put in minimum effort to include not even walking you safely to the train and still you defend him. You don't see what's wrong with him but rather what's right. His wrong probably way outweighs the right but you don't see that. I mean you totally blame it on his performance in the bedroom while I would be pissed to $hit if he didn't walk me to the train. Especially if I just gave myself to him. Add that to how you have nothing to measure how your dad treats you as a gauge for the men you get involved with and it's no wonder why you seek out men who run away. I think if you want to understand yourself a little bit better you would start with having an absentee father. It may make some sense to you.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I think if you want to understand yourself a little bit better you would start with having an absentee father. It may make some sense to you. How do I go about doing that? Do I ask my mom about my dad ( whom I've never met) or would it be more like doing exercises where I question my every motive and action and contribute them to how I channeled my lack of a father attitude towards other people?
dreamergrl Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Okay but you dodged the question. How is your relationship with your dad? I don't have one. I'm sorry to hear that. That sucks for you. XO They say that the father-daughter connection has a whole lot to do with the dynamics of your adult relationships. You may want to read up about it. (((hugs))) Agreed. I've had the same problem in the past, and at times it sneeks into my present.
Cherished Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 At least he told you the truth early instead of waiting a few hundred sexual encounters later. It doesn't seem as if he's capable of a real sexual encounter.
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