ConfusedPanda Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 New to posting here, but I've been reading for about a month so I thought I'd post one myself. Long story short, I work for the same company as my ex and we have these personal pages that are similar to myspace/facebook. I had deleted him when we broke up and added him back earlier this week as I thought I could handle it. Backstory: We broke up early April, he was divorcing and decided he wanted to work things out with his wife, I think mainly out of fear of financial fallout and sense of obligation (she's not well). Major heartbreak ensued. He tried to initiate contact with me until I asked him to stop, and I've been pretty much complete NC for a little over 3 weeks with a small slipup last week where we texted (a very short friendly exchange) and also when I added him as a friend on my personal page this week. So, yesterday I thought to myself, at some point Ex is going to update his page and I'm going to see it and I'm going to open it and there's going to be a big fat pic of him and his wife on his page and that is going to suck. So, obviously curiosity got the best of me and I looked and he actually had updated his page. So, after some internal debate I opened it and there was a picture of us! As his main pic! And the other pics were ones I took with his camera from trips we took together, pics that would have no significance to anyone else but me. Really not sure what to think. But this is messing with my head, wondering what he is thinking and why he would do that. Any ideas? I want to break NC so bad but I know it'll set me back. And hello, he's married, not divorcing, now. Any thoughts?
Scorpio13c Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Hi Confused, Sorry to say, but your screen name says it all. You are both confused. Nothing good comes from trying to have a relationship with someone who is torn (your ex). You aren't ready to be friends, he needs to go through his divorce & also go through his grieving process with her, before you two can be happy together. You sent him a open invitation when you added him as a friend, he took it, but he is far from being able to have a true relationship with you now. He is simply torn.. Scorp
Author ConfusedPanda Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 You're right. His push and pull confuses me and I probably should have left well enough alone and not re-added him as a friend. I wanted to indirectly let him know that I didn't have hard feelings and we could be cordial, but that may not have been the best idea. I think I'm going to just ignore the pics and go about my business.
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