SCooke Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 So I found out my ex is defiently with someone else (FB pics but also a mutual friend who confirmed it) and I delted her from FB and wrote her this: " Hi So I messed up and checked your FB pictures, and you have quite a lot of pictures with one particular guy. It really looks like you two have something going on (I don't know how I know, but I can just feel it) . If you guys are together, I'm not angry because I knew eventually this was gonna happen. I just wish you would have told me about it personally (especially if you two started getting close when you and I were still talking) .The only part I'm sad about is that now it kinda confrims my suspision that you told me all those things about us being great freinds and maybe having a future just as a way to ease the transtion period until you got close to somebody else. This was the exact reason why i didn't want to continue the friendship thing. I knew I could never accept 2nd class treatement from you. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I deleted you from FB not because I'm angry or bitter at you but because it's just not helpful or healthy when I'm trying to move on with my life (i don't need to be looking at your pics and stuff ...). Also I don't mean to be doing this right before you leave, but it literally is the 1st time I saw all those pics with the guy. So eventhough we can't be in each others lives, just remember that from the bottom of my heart I think you're an amazing girl. I will always always care about you and remember you fondly. " Was this i wussy letter? Have I lost all dinigty? Dang it!
thelostsoul89 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 It doesnt really sound like a wussy letter. Sounds like a goodbye forever letter. Nothing wrong with letting her know what your thinking and basically saying goodbye.
wow123 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Hey man I know how you feel as I am going through the same exact thing as you...got strung along till she was finally with someone else. The letter doesn't make you sound like a wuss and who cares what she thinks anyway. You know u cant be with her after pulling a stunt like that...the trust is gone. I know its hard but that is what I keep telling myself about the girl I thought I was going to marry. Feel better.
Author SCooke Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Thanks guys. Yeah it sucks being strung along. I just didn't want to come off as angry or even heartbroken, because I'm not . Yeah, it stings and it hurt to look at those pics of her so happy with another guy, but I think I was prepared for it (a huge reason I was ready was because of this forum- i anticipated it because of so many great conversations here). I just wanted her to KNOW that I am fully aware of what she did, and she should think about it. I have NO wish to get her back, not because she sucks, but because too much has happened to ever go back. The healing journey continues...
contax Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Same situation here. My girl hooked up with the guy I was suspecting 3 days after our breakup. After 5 years. I laughed and told the guy now you know something I didn't - that she can just leave for another guy - or another guy stole her...ha ha to you. It's all love though and I left saying I wish her happiness. I've been n/c for one month and in that time she called me 47 times one day and 17 times the other day + she told me she wishes he was me...oh well...I'm happy, and grateful I had no kids with her. Your letter was good.....but please go n/c. Shes gonna eat her heart out thinking about you.
Author SCooke Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Contax, Yeah i fully plan on going NC. I hadn't contacted her for more than a month before yesterday. I won't contact her again. I just had to let her know that she just can't get away with what she did without me calling her out on it. Maybe silence would have been better, but I got stuff off my chest. From now on though, it's all silence!
contax Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Contax, Yeah i fully plan on going NC. I hadn't contacted her for more than a month before yesterday. I won't contact her again. I just had to let her know that she just can't get away with what she did without me calling her out on it. Maybe silence would have been better, but I got stuff off my chest. From now on though, it's all silence! Excellent to hear! I too told my ex that she betrayed me, and got all my anger, hurt, fear, and my resposibility and part of it all - out. Then I told her It's all love and wished her happiness. This is good, cause these people feel guilty and don't want to feel like the horrible people they are. They will continue to be bad characters unless they make significant change. All the best with the healing bro.
ConfusedPanda Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 It doesn't sound bad at all, like pp said, sounds like a goodbye letter. And I think its good that you got it off your chest and that you let her know its not coming from a bitter/angry place. Good luck with the NC, it does help.
animalthing Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 There's no reason for me to point out what I would have done differently; the letter has been sent and there is no point in fretting over word choices or worrying about how to look more dignified. You were civil, fairly straightforward, and avoided getting too emotional. Don't worry about it, man. Now's the time to look forward and move on. Good luck.
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