HsMomma Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Saw this today on CNN.com & found it interesting...people seem to come here "wondering" if what they (or their SO's) are doing is an EA...I think this is insightful. What do y'all think? http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/05/21/o.having.emotional.affair/index.html
bentnotbroken Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Seems on the money to me. Once the boundaries are grayed, there will be deny-ability for anything wrong.
Author HsMomma Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Seems on the money to me. Once the boundaries are grayed, there will be deny-ability for anything wrong. I thought so, too. Having been in the role of the BS, I thought it was pretty dead-on.
silktricks Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Spot-on as far as I'm concerned. (I'm certain my husband would agree...!) The only part I questioned was the advice to not tell if the BS was completely oblivious. I (personally) would disagree with that advice. I think it's usually important if you're really going to resolve the marital issues.
Author HsMomma Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Spot-on as far as I'm concerned. (I'm certain my husband would agree...!) The only part I questioned was the advice to not tell if the BS was completely oblivious. I (personally) would disagree with that advice. I think it's usually important if you're really going to resolve the marital issues. You're right, of course - I went back & read it again & I agree 100% with you. I think if the WS is remorseful & really does want the R to work, it is a requirement to tell the BS about the A. Otherwise, nothing changes, except maybe the EA moves to something physical...
angie2443 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Spot-on as far as I'm concerned. (I'm certain my husband would agree...!) The only part I questioned was the advice to not tell if the BS was completely oblivious. I (personally) would disagree with that advice. I think it's usually important if you're really going to resolve the marital issues. I disagree with that part also. Not only for the reason you give, but also, if you keep such things from your partner, you'll both grow farther apart. Sharing your deepest feelings with someone brings you closer to them. Keeping your feelings from someone creates distance. Just my opinion.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I disagree with that part also. Not only for the reason you give, but also, if you keep such things from your partner, you'll both grow farther apart. Sharing your deepest feelings with someone brings you closer to them. Keeping your feelings from someone creates distance. Just my opinion. not only that, a WS, in my opinion, will have gotten away with it without any real consequences. And without any consequences, they are more than likely doomed to repeat the cheat. And if you listen to most of the WS's here, they will blameshift and say that their BS pushed them to it, or it was their fault they cheated. So if they believe their own excuses....then wouldn't telling them make sense if they want to try to get their BS to change?
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