cthruyou2 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I will try to make this short, but it maybe difficult, I am a 39yr old male who has been with a girl (now 32) we met at work, coming into this relationship, she had left one 4months prior, leaving behind a guy she was with for 10yrs and 2 children (at the time 4 and 9) but see's them every 2nd weekend. We had been dating for 3 yrs (2006 - 2009) in 2007 she had left to take another job, where all the problems started, she left me for another guy, but I was told by the guy what was going on, not her, I did take her back, felt an impact would be on the kids as well, we stayed together till just after christmas (Mid Jan of 2008) she left again, for the same guy, she eventually started txting me be it good or bad stuff, we again, got back together, she did come back pregnant, never found out till 2 weeks back together, told her I couldn't stay with her for that simple reason (maybe bad on my part) but she did have a miscarrage, we did stay together under the condition as well, she would not return back to that job and to return to old job where we met, and keeping in mind both times I kept paying her cell bill under my plan and always wanted to txt her Here is the kicker, we just had the kids over and whom I have really developed a closeness to as well them to me, 2 weeks prior, she threatened to leave calling me names and which I packed her stuff, I picked her up that next day after we argued, I told her I didn't want her to leave and I would miss the kids, she said they would miss me to Now my question, as mentioned we had the kids over the weekend, but on Monday she fought with me, saying this and that was my fault (she had lost her job as the company folded and she told me she was going back to that other work place), also saying kids don't wanna come here anymore (which hurt so I did ask her daughter and said she liked seeing me, I was very nice and hope we get back together) when I arrrived home for lunch on Tuesday, her stuff was gone, she was gone (keeping in mind she lived with me in my home,for 3 yrs, off and on obviously paid no bills (but paid $100.00/pay), which was fine by me, she did do a bit of house work, laundry and worked, bought the grocerys the weekend the kids would come) I had no note left for me as to why, even kissed her goodbye that morning, she said bye, the only thing I had heard from her since she left was 3 days later a text message saying "How Are You" I never did reply to it (felt like I should have) but I don't have any urge to text her, not sure why she even text messaged me after leaving, I haven't heard from her since that day she asked me and still the cells are in my name, thought of getting rid of her cell ($400.00 to do that) but felt I would look like I am angry or an being a jerk, do I get rid of it? do I return any text messages if she texts me? (will I look like a jerk if I don't return any? ( I still have some of her items she forgot to take) and what do I do if I possibly see her at work? Any Advice? TY
ConfusedPanda Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 So, she cheated on you, left you for someone else, pays hardly any bills, comes and goes as she pleases? And you'll feel bad if you DONT text her back? Seriously, no, you will not look like a jerk, it sounds like you need to get this unhealthy woman out of your life. You deserve better than that.
Author cthruyou2 Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 So, she cheated on you, left you for someone else, pays hardly any bills, comes and goes as she pleases? And you'll feel bad if you DONT text her back? Seriously, no, you will not look like a jerk, it sounds like you need to get this unhealthy woman out of your life. You deserve better than that. Thanks Confused Panda, for taking time in reading that lengthy Question... Much Appreciated
ConfusedPanda Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Re-read the end of the last paragraph again...with the cell, I would split the plan if you're on a family plan to individual plans then she can decide if she wants to pay for her own or if you are just paying for hers, see if you can transfer the contract to her name. If you see her at work (man, that'll be tough), be cordial but indifferent, but don't let her suck you back in. She has disrespected you and taken advantage of you and no one deserves that. It sounds like she's playing the push/pull game with you and knows you'll be there when she's ready to pull you back in.
CaliGuy Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I don't see what's to question here. She can't commit to you, she has proven she doesn't love you by the way she comes and goes, got pregnant by another guy, etc. You need her out of your life, no matter how painful it is.
NopeNah Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I don't see what's to question here. She can't commit to you, she has proven she doesn't love you by the way she comes and goes, got pregnant by another guy, etc. You need her out of your life, no matter how painful it is. ding *ding* Give this man a prize for all he does here! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! Why does she not have custody of the kids?
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