amerikajin Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Melodymatters, I just saw this thread. I feel terrible for you. There's not much to say except that we all wish you well. Hang in there.
mental_traveller Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I offer my condolences, such a tragic accident. RIP
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 M... I've struggled with what to say all day, but the truth is nothing any of us say is going to make you feel better. My heart breaks for you in a way so few can understand, and I hope not many will ever have to. But please know that there are people here who really are truly here for you. You know who we are. We'll be here whenever you're ready to talk, or need an ear, or a supportive shoulder, virtual or otherwise. You are a very, very strong woman, and I need not one ounce of faith to know that you will come through this okay, albeit not unscathed. You were both so blessed to have known and loved each other, and I'm certain this love will not be your last. (((((M)))))
Storyrider Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So terribly sorry to read this, Mel. Will be thinking of you tonight and in the days ahead. I'm so glad you loved him and that he knew it.
neowulf Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 When I came across this thread, I honestly believed there would be a happy ending in all this. I won't pretend to understand the depth of loss you must feel. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and yours.
curiousnycgirl Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Oh Mel - Words are inadequate - I cannot begin to think of anything that I could possibly say that would make any difference right now. My thougths, prayers and heart are with you during this difficult time. I hope you find some semblance of peace. Hugs, Curious
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 As with everyone else, I'm at a loss for words. Most awful, most unfair thing ever. Be strong girl.
GorillaTheater Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 My deepest sympathy, Melody. I am so sorry this happened.
theBrokenMuse Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I know it doesn't mean much coming from a stranger but I am so very sorry for your loss.
Montclair0011 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 This is horrible. I'm so sorry. Sad beyond belief. Take care. Let us know how you are doing.
Kasan Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Thinking of you and your family during this heartbreaking time.
Author melodymatters Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 This is all so unreal, but I want to take the time to thank ALL of you so much for your thoughts and prayers. Some of you I've known here for a few years,some a few months, and some perhaps our threads never crossed, but your words of support have been there for me at 3 am, when no one else is around, and all I can do is sob. That is when you all came through for me. (love) Sometimes there is so much BS on this board, but there are times, like when we all helped a suicidal poster, or helped a woman escape her abusive family, and, of course now, that makes it all worth it. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. The funeral is Friday and I believe I will go home with my family for the summer, can't think beyond that. Love you all, be safe... Mel, the proud wife of wonderful, special Michael.
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Just take things one day at a time Mel. Having supportive family around is important. Some days will be better than others, and allow yourself to have bad days. Cry when you need to- don't hold it in. Talk about Michael as much as you want to, talking is important. Try not to make any rash decisions regarding your life (eg moving, selling a home jobs etc etc) for at least 6 months. You will feel a rainbow of emotions- sadness, despair, anger- I have found the anger to be particularly hard to deal with, as most of it is directed at people who annoy me for simply not being sad. Let it out whenever you can. Will be thinking of you on Friday. ((hug))
marlena Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Talk about Michael as much as you want to, talking is important. Yes, it is. Very catharctic. Don't hold in your feelings. Mike is still alive as long as he dwells in your heart and thoughts. To me, you've always stood out as a vivacious poster, full of brio and an incredible thirst for life. I am sure this is why Mike fell in love with you. He would not want you to change. Many of us will be at the funeral with you on Friday. Of this I am sure.
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Not sure if its a little early to post this either, but Mel, one thing I found when my dad died was in the end it was a blessing that I am pregnant and can't drink. My mum had her worst days when she drank, and booze ended up being the catalyst for a few large family arguments after his funeral. Not telling you what to do, but I actually found it easier to be sober (even though there were times when I craved the oblivion it brings, I can imagine being hung over and grieving is pretty rough) Also, when everyone is grieving so much, anger is bound to surface at some point, and its often very misdirected (I think you mentioned already that your Hs family had directed some anger at you?) and another thing I tried to do was walk away from conflict and not bite back at anger. People behave really strangely when they are grieving or are confronted by a grieving person. Some people will be amazing towards you and others will say inappropriate things, do inappropriate stuff, and generally p*ss you off. The best piece of advice I had was- everyone who loved Mike is going to grieve and mourn him differently, and even though its really hard sometimes, try to respect that. Some people will withdraw into themselves, some will get mad, others will try and blame someone etc etc. I know my brother thought I was a hard nosed B*tch because I cried in private rather than in front of everyone all the time, and I went into organisational overdrive helping my mum sort out the funeral rather than sit around- but thats what worked for me. Try (as HARD as it is sometimes) to let it all wash over you. Grieve how YOU want to, and don't forget that nobody can take away the happy times you had with Mike, nobody can take away the love you shared, and you were a good wife. Guilt and blame are pointless at a time like this, but unfortunately rear their ugly heads far too often. I hope this post wasnt' TMI, just trying to help, as grief has featured quite alot in my life recently and wanted to share some advice I was given, and also some observations I have made.
taurus27 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
e.clipse Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 my dear melody, i can't really post must, as my lunch break is already over, but i just read this entire thread...and well, i honestly don't know what to tell you. i remember you were there for me during one of my most difficult moments, and you are such a sweet and caring person...truly, you don't deserve this. but unfortunately, life is not fair, as they say. all you can really do now is go through the motions; allow yourself to feel what you have to and then focus on rebooting. just know that you have a very special place in my heart, mel. i'm really so very sorry. if there is anything that you need, please let me know, and i will try to help as best as i can. love you.
Ms. Red Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 This is the first time I've ever cried after reading ANY thread on LS. I am so sorry to hear this news. My heart goes out to you and the rest of your family.. I hope WWIU doesn't mind me quoting her but this is also exactly how I feel. Hugs Mel
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I am just now seeing this. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. I am so sorry for your loss.
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