SoulSearch_CO Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 my boss for instance built himself a multi-million dollar business - the very demanding nature of which was pretty much the stake through his marriage's heart, and she opposed it the whole way, at least until it was over-the-top successful. he basically did so in spite of his wife - seems kind of odd that now he needs to be splitting this with her, and I shudder to think what she will do with her absurd portion of the divorce settlement. WTF? She was still married to him while he was developing it and it ruined their marriage. And you don't think she's entitled to any of that. Weird.
carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 aren't you already married lol? You always talk about "the wife" Read my posts to gain further insight
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If my BF and I were to ever get married I'd get a pre-nup. I own my house and he doesn't plus I have kids. So I would want whatever down payment on the marital home I make (the value of my home) to be protected for my kids. He can protect his down payment too. I think he'd agree to this without a pre-nup because that's the kind of guy he is. He wouldn't want to rob a kid. But...you never know how things'll work out and divorces can get really ugly. I am not in the NBA or a movie star. I'm just someone who wants what's fair for her children.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If my BF and I were to ever get married I'd get a pre-nup. I own my house and he doesn't plus I have kids. So I would want whatever down payment on the marital home I make (the value of my home) to be protected for my kids. He can protect his down payment too. I think he'd agree to this without a pre-nup because that's the kind of guy he is. He wouldn't want to rob a kid. But...you never know how things'll work out and divorces can get really ugly. I am not in the NBA or a movie star. I'm just someone who wants what's fair for her children.I would marry you amaysn, since I know you wouldn't be a gold-digging wife!
cbreitel Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If my BF and I were to ever get married I'd get a pre-nup. I own my house and he doesn't plus I have kids. So I would want whatever down payment on the marital home I make (the value of my home) to be protected for my kids. He can protect his down payment too. Divorce law already accomplishes this without prenups. Another example of the lack of any value added to a marriage by signing one.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I would marry you amaysn, since I know you wouldn't be a gold-digging wife! No I would not be. But the same could be said for you. I know you wouldn't marry me for my money.
cbreitel Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm more than willing to accept that there are people who don't believe in them. I'm just not willing to let someone off the hook who bases his/her opinions on nothing but smoke and mirrors, then gets up people's butts for not having any concrete proof or attempting to intimidate through pretend knowledge. Trust me, I won't have a gold-digging wife! I'm glad you've convinced yourself that you're right, which is a really amazing accomplishment when you sit down and think about it. A prenup is required by a husband who believes his wife is a gold-digger. Period. If you set that as the tone for your marriage from day one, you will increase the odds of your marriage failing. Marriage is a sacred institution that is built on love, trust, and respect for one another. A prenup flies in the face of all that and undermines the foundation of a strong marriage. You won't have a "gold-digging wife" because you've told her you fear that she'll be one and want legal protections from her in case your fear comes true. So on that point, you and I agree.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Divorce law already accomplishes this without prenups. Another example of the lack of any value added to a marriage by signing one. Really? How? How is it established who put down what on the marital home? How is it that it doesn't become joint? It is the marital home afterall. I should mention that I live in a state with equitable distribution.
cbreitel Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Really? How? How is it established who put down what on the marital home? How is it that it doesn't become joint? It is the marital home afterall. I should mention that I live in a state with equitable distribution. If you bought the home before the marriage and title is in your own name in fee simple, it doesn't somehow magically "become joint" unless you actually put him on the title. Premarital assets that are not comingled during the marriage remain your separate property, and the anti-comingling requirement is true whether or not you have a prenup.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 No I would not be. But the same could be said for you. I know you wouldn't marry me for my money.You can bet on that one! If we were engaged, I would marry for love. I'm glad you've convinced yourself that you're right, which is a really amazing accomplishment when you sit down and think about it. A prenup is required by a husband who believes his wife is a gold-digger. Period. If you set that as the tone for your marriage from day one, you will increase the odds of your marriage failing. Marriage is a sacred institution that is built on love, trust, and respect for one another. A prenup flies in the face of all that and undermines the foundation of a strong marriage. You won't have a "gold-digging wife" because you've told her you fear that she'll be one and want legal protections from her in case your fear comes true. So on that point, you and I agree. There are two sides to marriage. Fluff and stuff and also pragmatism. If two adults can't be pragmatic previous to getting married, discussing everything and anything pragmatic, especially fiscal and legal matters, they shouldn't be married at all. I would never tell that to a woman.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If you bought the home before the marriage and title is in your own name in fee simple, it doesn't somehow magically "become joint" unless you actually put him on the title. Premarital assets that are not comingled during the marriage remain your separate property, and the anti-comingling requirement is true whether or not you have a prenup. Okay but you missed my question. If we were to get married I'd sell my current home and he'd sell his. Then we'd buy our marital home. If our marriage dissolves without a pre-nup he'd be entitled to half of the house value, regardless of how much I put down, or no?
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I would never tell that to a woman. I see you're rather enjoying this.
cbreitel Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 You can bet on that one! If we were engaged, I would marry for love. There are two sides to marriage. Fluff and stuff and also pragmatism. If two adults can't be pragmatic previous to getting married, discussing everything and anything pragmatic, especially fiscal and legal matters, they shouldn't be married at all. I would never tell that to a woman. Just another honest question... don't you think you're screwing yourselves by preparing yourselves for an eventual divorce before you're even married? You discuss it, think about it, consult lawyers about it, sign papers about it, and contractually bind yourselves to what happens if it happens. How do you go about living your normal married life after a start like that?
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I see you're rather enjoying this. Sometimes assumptions can be fun! Just another honest question... don't you think you're screwing yourselves by preparing yourselves for an eventual divorce before you're even married? You discuss it, think about it, consult lawyers about it, sign papers about it, and contractually bind yourselves to what happens if it happens. How do you go about living your normal married life after a start like that? It's easy to go forward into married life, since we're both pragmatic individuals, going into our second marriages. We discuss everything and anything, without hesitation. This is by far, the BEST and easiest relationship we've both ever had. Signing prenups is honestly no big deal for us.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 This is by far, the BEST and easiest relationship we've both ever had. Signing prenups is honestly no big deal for us. Same. And something tells me that that guy was really wrong about what he was trying to sell. It's okay buddy. You can stop looking for the answer. I already knew it.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Same. And something tells me that that guy was really wrong about what he was trying to sell. It's okay buddy. You can stop looking for the answer. I already knew it.Prenups covers a lot of nuances, that not everyone is aware of. Take Wills and Estates law for example.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Prenups covers a lot of nuances, that not everyone is aware of. Take Wills and Estates law for example. Okay I am not the executor of my parents will. My other sister is. Big shocker, huh?
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Okay I am not the executor of my parents will. My other sister is. Big shocker, huh?I'm talking about your will or estate plan, in reference to your children.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm talking about your will or estate plan, in reference to your children. You know I didn't get around to doing that. Which I really should. Because I have no husband. I do think there is something that I downloaded from the internet in my dad's strongbox leaving him the house from before we went to Disney.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 You know I didn't get around to doing that. Which I really should. Because I have no husband. I do think there is something that I downloaded from the internet in my dad's strongbox leaving him the house from before we went to Disney. Get to it so it's easier for your children. While no one wants to believe that anything can happen to them, it only takes one car accident. For that matter, prenups are good for protecting businesses and trust fund assets.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Get to it so it's easier for your children. While no one wants to believe that anything can happen to them, it only takes one car accident. For that matter, prenups are good for protecting businesses and trust fund assets. I know it. My whole family tells me it's really important that I have one because I have a house and no husband. Without a will my state will take about half. The trust fund falls into inheritance and that is exempt from your spouse where I live.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I know it. My whole family tells me it's really important that I have one because I have a house and no husband. Without a will my state will take about half. The trust fund falls into inheritance and that is exempt from your spouse where I live.You bet! You're lucky. It's not always the case reliant on jurisdiction. http://www.forbes.com/2006/12/27/divorce-familytrusts-gifts-pf-estates-in_mb_1228money_inl.html
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I never knew that about other states having to share their wealth. I wonder if a pre-nup would protect them from having to split it?
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 That's part of the reason to get a prenup, to ensure for less property split, when the spouse shouldn't be entitled to it. Btw, my jurisdiction is like the other states, who have to share. It's not pretty. The good part, is that prenups are enforceable by law in Canada and will not be overturned, unless there's fraud, etc.
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Heres another side to the argument. My H and I had no large assets when we got married, and we had a joint bank account that we had both been paying into, which we used as a deposit on our house. Our house and my company are not owned by either me or my H- they are owned by our family trust that we set up after we got married. There are tax benefits to this, and also the house is safe if I ever get sued, which in my profession can happen occasionally. Both my H and I are beneficiaries of the trust as are any children we have. We have a third trustee, a solicitor, as you can't have only two. To dissolve it, all three trustees have to agree on the terms. So in the event of a split, its either 50/50, or held in trust for our children. So its kind of a post-nuptial agreement. My fathers trust has specifically stated that any income or inheritance I receive from that is mine and no spouse has any claim on it. (unless I choose to gift it or use it for joint purposes I guess) It works for us.
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