stargirl1984 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Ok, was seeing this guy for about 3 months- yeah, not a long time (though he'd been trying to get a date for 2 years), but I felt we had a good connection, and it seemed like feelings were growing between us...him saying stuff such as "I like you alot" and "I'm really attracted to you". He'd been saying that he felt he might be too busy right now to get serious with anyone, but I understood his job was stressful (works 40+ hours in the medical field), and figured we could take it slow. He even makes a date to hang out with me, after he says this. ...and then he stands me up, doesn't answer me for 2 weeks, before finally breaking it off in a txt, saying "I think it's better if we don't hang out. I don't want to lead you on into thinking we can be more than friends." This was 3 weeks ago. And I did the really stupid thing alot of people do when they're heartbroken- sad weepy txt messages. 1 angry one too, 2 days after it happened. After that I tried the "nice method", by just saying non-relationship things like "oh, I heard this movie was really good" and "I saw this thing at the store you might like". Before giving him the the stock "well, this is YOUR loss" this weekend, after the "can we talk about what was wrong?" one went unanswered. I KNOW- huge mistake. I'm really ashamed of myself- 3 weeks, and I think the longest I've gone without txting anything was 3 days. I finally vowed, yesterday, to just bite the bullet and engage in NO contact- but I wonder, is it already too late? Have I already pushed him so far away, that he'll never miss me or think of reconciling?
turquoise Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 As hard as it is, i know, & very very frustrating, I think it would be better to do the no contact thing. It sounds like it was a bit of a game to him, chasing you for 2 years then turning around and breaking it off like that. You deserve better than what he has given you honey! wait for your prince charming to come along and think positive thoughts! goodluck!
ConfusedPanda Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 The best time to start NC is now. Even if you've been texting, its ok to drop off the face of the earth so you can heal. See if you can get call block then block his number. It'll keep you from being able to send out any texts or call...not that I know from experience. haha, kidding. From experience though, the more you refrain, the easier it gets.
animalthing Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 definitely no contact, for sure. sounds like the dude was just really busy, though the way he stood you up was pretty shady. you don't want someone like that in your life, so don't worry about it and just move on.
Chinook Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 What always amazes me is even when the other person has been open and honest, we always somehow miss it and end up thinking we can turn things around. He has told you it's over. So leave it be. "I think it's better if we don't hang out. I don't want to lead you on into thinking we can be more than friends." That means exactly what it says on the tin. He knows you want more and he's not prepared to give it. His standing you up was an airy fairy approach that he hoped you would take the hint, you didn't. That statement there says it plainly, he doesn't want to hang out and he doesn't want to hurt you. So please, don't make him hurt you any more than he already has. He doesn't want to see you, so no it isn't able to be turned around. He had his reasons and they're not likely to be connected to you. His reasons are HIS. Please, leave him be and maintain no contact - that's what he will be doing and you should respect that.
Author stargirl1984 Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 What always amazes me is even when the other person has been open and honest, we always somehow miss it and end up thinking we can turn things around. He has told you it's over. So leave it be. That means exactly what it says on the tin. He knows you want more and he's not prepared to give it. His standing you up was an airy fairy approach that he hoped you would take the hint, you didn't. That statement there says it plainly, he doesn't want to hang out and he doesn't want to hurt you. So please, don't make him hurt you any more than he already has. He doesn't want to see you, so no it isn't able to be turned around. He had his reasons and they're not likely to be connected to you. His reasons are HIS. Please, leave him be and maintain no contact - that's what he will be doing and you should respect that. I didn't have any intention of breaking No Contact again. I guess I just wanted to know if he'd ever want to see me again, once his schedule gets more freed up, or whatever. I mean, that's what he'd told me before- that he was too busy to get serious with anyone right now. We didn't really have any fights. We connected pretty well, and had alot of common interests. And he'd said he was really attracted to me, a few days before he stood me up. I can respect that he wants his space right now...that's fine. But...when he gets himself sorted, will he seek me, or just forget about me foreever?
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