xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 When I was feeling down ( over artist) I came across this song that really spoke to me. It speaks true to my heart, and I just want to share this with each and every one of you who has an SO or a guy you're in love with. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYCL_3nG7KE
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Sounds like a classic case of over-invested female and uninterested male (but he keeps her around to entertain him). Or in other words - quit making this guy a priority when you are only his option!!!
Enema Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 When I saw this thread title I was worried you had given artist guy an ultimatum. PHEW!
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 You're in love with artist guy? No, Star I'm not in love with him. His very behaviour makes it impossible for me to develop feelings to that level.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Sounds like a classic case of over-invested female and uninterested male (but he keeps her around to entertain him). Or in other words - quit making this guy a priority when you are only his option!!! Soul, I'm making him my option as well. I don't contact him unless I'm bored and want to hang out. I really have no expectations from him except maybe a night out on the town and sex. Does that make him my booty call? When I saw this thread title I was worried you had given artist guy an ultimatum. PHEW! haha, enema you really cheered me up. No, I haven't given him an ultimatum (yet). It's not that time. I have come to accept that I'm a booty call. I honestly have ( despite some people who are skeptical about my feelings).
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Paper is infatuated though I am BlueEyed, I am. But that's only because I allow it to happen. I'm constantly being persued by other guys, like tomorrow, I have a date, but I'll probably end up drinking later in the evening and giving artist guy a call. Sigh, I need a vacation.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Sigh....I'm infatuated too! Are you still infatuated with that guy?
Cora Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Are you still infatuated with that guy? Unfortunately, that would be the one.
kdark Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I am BlueEyed, I am. But that's only because I allow it to happen. I'm constantly being persued by other guys, like tomorrow, I have a date, but I'll probably end up drinking later in the evening and giving artist guy a call. Sigh, I need a vacation. You sound like a friend of mine who was doing the exact same thing with a guy who was doing the exact same thing to her. I pointed out all the same things everyone on this board has been telling you to my friend, and she just said, "yeah... I know..." and kept calling him late at night and going to his place over and over again. If it makes you feel an better, you are definitely not the only girl with this problem. I would give you a hug and tell it will all be OK, but this is just cyberspace, so I'll wink instead...
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 You sound like a friend of mine who was doing the exact same thing with a guy who was doing the exact same thing to her. I pointed out all the same things everyone on this board has been telling you to my friend, and she just said, "yeah... I know..." and kept calling him late at night and going to his place over and over again. If it makes you feel an better, you are definitely not the only girl with this problem. I would give you a hug and tell it will all be OK, but this is just cyberspace, so I'll wink instead... Aww, kdark, thanks. So in the end how did your friend turn out? Did she break things off or is she still calling him?
JeezLouise Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Soul, I'm making him my option as well. I don't contact him unless I'm bored and want to hang out. I really have no expectations from him except maybe a night out on the town and sex. Does that make him my booty call? No. It makes you look like a woman who thinks that even bad contact is better than no contact at all. You are expecting an awful lot of healing and self-understanding and acceptance to come in just 3 or 4 days. This would make one think that you are just trying to make yourself believe that you are "over" him and that you are just using him - but it sure sounds an awful lot like the bargaining stage of grieving.
JeezLouise Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Unfortunately, that would be the one. What guy? The ONS guy, or the 8 month internet guy?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 No. It makes you look like a woman who thinks that even bad contact is better than no contact at all. You are expecting an awful lot of healing and self-understanding and acceptance to come in just 3 or 4 days. This would make one think that you are just trying to make yourself believe that you are "over" him and that you are just using him - but it sure sounds an awful lot like the bargaining stage of grieving. Jeez, I look really desperate don't I? I can't help it. If contact only involves sex, then so be it. At least for now I can be satisfied with the physical contact. The emotional can either subside later on and hopefully, disappear.
kizik Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 If contact only involves sex, then so be it. At least for now I can be satisfied with the physical contact. The emotional can either subside later on and hopefully, disappear. Right, because any attention, even if it's YOU giving some 3AM blowjob, is better than no attention at all. And DON'T tell me not to write on your threads, I reflect back at you the craziness that you spew onto the computer screen. I enjoy how you use LS as a place to complain and brag, but not to listen. Anyone who tries to help you quickly stops when they realize how needy and ignorant you can be. And aren't I such a jerk, I'm so bad, if it weren't for me, everything would be fine.
JeezLouise Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Jeez, I look really desperate don't I? I can't help it. If contact only involves sex, then so be it. At least for now I can be satisfied with the physical contact. The emotional can either subside later on and hopefully, disappear. You will be a rare woman if your emotional commitment lessens with increased sexual contact. I would rather shoot myself than appear desperate, but that's just me.
Star Gazer Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Sounds like a classic case of over-invested female and uninterested male (but he keeps her around to entertain him). Or in other words - quit making this guy a priority when you are only his option!!! Yup. Soul, I'm making him my option as well. You're lying to yourself. You really are, and you know it. No, I haven't given him an ultimatum (yet). Yet? I'm confused. Another thing, what's with your avatar?
AlektraClementine Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Jeez, I look really desperate don't I? I can't help it. If contact only involves sex, then so be it. At least for now I can be satisfied with the physical contact. The emotional can either subside later on and hopefully, disappear. What happened to letting him know what you want and being prepared for his reaction? Honestly, and I say this with a lot more compassion than you realize....but I don't think that this message board is doing you a lot of good. You want to get your feelings out which you can do here, safe from the trenches of actually navigating your own life. I come here to present problems that I'm actually ready to solve. Not a lot of repeat complaints. I try to put to use the *good* advice I get, coupled with my own common sense. It helps. You come here to vent and complain and fish for validation. When I say "fish", I mean that any time someone gives you a nugget of positivity (i.e. I think he likes you), you jump all over it (i.e. "not that it matters, but WHY do you think he likes me"). Seriously, you want to fix this situation? Tell him you want a relationship. He'll say "Well I don't". Then put on your shoes/clothes/whatever and walk out of his life. Unless you just want to keep on being depressed. And when you said that at least the sexual stuff fulfills you, I gotta call BS. All it does is makes the vast hole in you deeper and wider. I truly do empathize with you so please don't take this as me being mean to you. If I come across that way, let me know.
Star Gazer Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 What happened to letting him know what you want and being prepared for his reaction? Honestly, and I say this with a lot more compassion than you realize....but I don't think that this message board is doing you a lot of good. You want to get your feelings out which you can do here, safe from the trenches of actually navigating your own life. I come here to present problems that I'm actually ready to solve. Not a lot of repeat complaints. I try to put to use the *good* advice I get, coupled with my own common sense. It helps. You come here to vent and complain and fish for validation. When I say "fish", I mean that any time someone gives you a nugget of positivity (i.e. I think he likes you), you jump all over it (i.e. "not that it matters, but WHY do you think he likes me"). Seriously, you want to fix this situation? Tell him you want a relationship. He'll say "Well I don't". Then put on your shoes/clothes/whatever and walk out of his life. Unless you just want to keep on being depressed. And when you said that at least the sexual stuff fulfills you, I gotta call BS. All it does is makes the vast hole in you deeper and wider. I truly do empathize with you so please don't take this as me being mean to you. If I come across that way, let me know. Great post, AC.
Cora Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 What guy? The ONS guy, or the 8 month internet guy? The ONS guy. I can't stand the 8 month internet guy and wish he would die and go back to hell where he came from!
BCCA Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 PC, with all the compassion I can muster, you need help. I don't mean to be cruel or mean or anything else, but you just come here hoping that people will agree with what youre doing, and then when they dont, you 180 your entire story to make it look like YOU are actually in control and getting what you want. You're not, and no one is fooled. You said repeadetly that you wanted more from this guy, and that you were just going to walk away. But then you go right back, and act like YOU are the one who just needs a booty call. You know it as well as everyone else here, you have no say in the matter. HE considers you HIS booty call, and instead of walking away from something thats no good for you, youre pretending to be happy about it. You're not happy with this arrangement, but you'll take any and all contact from anyone you can get. I also kind of dont buy that you have other dates. You seem to already be planning on them sucking, and you going back to artist guys' place to take care of his needs. Why would you even go out with someone, knowing it wont work and youll be desperately throwing yourself at some schmuck that doesnt care about you? I doubt you would. Unless youre ready to actually HELP YOURSELF, like Ive said before, you might as well just yell this all out the window. Its not doing you any good, and a lot of people have taken the time to try and help you out, and then you completely ignore them, yet continue to complain. Artist guy is NEVER going to want you for more than a booty call. Go ahead and give him an ultimatum, but I doubt you would because you know what he's going to say - "ok bye" - and then youll have nothing.
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