Nemoralis Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I have met a wonderful guy and things are going perfectly between us. When we first met, he said he was a Christian. I am an Atheist and he expressed concern with this. I was also concerned, since I will usually not date Christians. After about a month we had a religious conversation, at which point he admitted that he was not a Christian, but was simply spiritual and did believe in some sort of god. Now we have been together for a few months and things are getting serious. Tonight he brought it up again, saying that he was unsure about us because he cannot be with me "in the end" because I'm an Atheist. I just don't understand. Our values are similar. He believes that there is a god out there and I believe that there COULD be a god out there, I just don't know for sure. So how different are we really? I explained this to him and he simply said that he believed for sure that there was a conscious god out there somewhere and the fact that I didn't was a problem. What can I/we do? I really care about him and don't want this to be the end of it.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 You sound more agnostic than atheist to me. Personally, I don't care what somebody's religion is as long as they respect my beliefs and have basic human decency. It sounds to me like he's struggling against his Christian conditioning. How religious is his family? I say it's a non-issue unless he makes it one.
Enema Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Not much you can do about it. Cut your losses and move on. Another good example of the evils of religion. I see atheism more as a quality filter for partners, rather than a detriment to finding someone.
Author Nemoralis Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Atheist = lack belief in god. An agnostic is an atheist by definition. Anywho...his family is very Christian. Especially his mother. And he's very much a momma's boy. Maybe that's the problem. His last girlfriend was an Atheist and they dated for over a year, but he says if he could do it over again he would never have been with her because of her Atheism, because he couldn't be with her "in the end" for that reason as he told me. I don't understand why he's allowed us to get this far if it were such an issue to him. =/
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Atheist = lack belief in god. An agnostic is an atheist by definition. Um, negative. Although we'll probably end up just agreeing to disagree (I hate arguing religion/beliefs). Atheists denounce the existence of God. Agnostics are open to the possibility, but are unsure as to if He/She/It really exists and/or the true nature of whatever "It" is. I'm Agnostic. I do NOT deny there is a God, but I feel that the true nature of God cannot be known. Hence the root of the word: "gnos" meaning "knowledge" and "agnos" meaning "without knowledge." I'm not an Atheist on any level. I can't even identify with TRUE Atheists all that well.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Anywho...his family is very Christian. Especially his mother. And he's very much a momma's boy. Maybe that's the problem. His last girlfriend was an Atheist and they dated for over a year, but he says if he could do it over again he would never have been with her because of her Atheism, because he couldn't be with her "in the end" for that reason as he told me. Oh, ****. Dump this one. Just based on this one paragraph, I'd be done with him no matter how I felt about him. He's allowed it to get this far because in his heart, he knows it doesn't matter and he cares about you. However, his conditioning is strong enough that he has to keep the family and his God happy - can't be with you until the end. Ugh. Next!
Enema Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Indoctrination is one of the strongest forms of brainwashing. Get em while they're kids and make it part of your family tradition. Very hard to get them to think for themselves, it's practically a solid part of his personality now. You can also bet that if he's having issues with this now, him and/or his mother will give you more problems over: - Premarital sex - Cohabitation before marriage - How to raise children - Going to church yourself etc, etc....
colosseum Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Yeah, what they all said. Especially SoulSearch_CO. Bad signs he let it get this far; what a fool.
sb129 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Believe me, mother in laws have enough opinions on how you should go about having and raising children without giving them any more ammo to use against you....
xpaperxcutx Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 He's using his religion as an excuse. Why would he get into a relationship with an atheist if he already been through one and broke up with his ex over this issue?
Bells Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I have met a wonderful guy and things are going perfectly between us. When we first met, he said he was a Christian. I am an Atheist and he expressed concern with this. I was also concerned, since I will usually not date Christians. After about a month we had a religious conversation, at which point he admitted that he was not a Christian, but was simply spiritual and did believe in some sort of god. Now we have been together for a few months and things are getting serious. Tonight he brought it up again, saying that he was unsure about us because he cannot be with me "in the end" because I'm an Atheist. I just don't understand. Our values are similar. He believes that there is a god out there and I believe that there COULD be a god out there, I just don't know for sure. So how different are we really? I explained this to him and he simply said that he believed for sure that there was a conscious god out there somewhere and the fact that I didn't was a problem. What can I/we do? I really care about him and don't want this to be the end of it. Yeah, Christians....even though some can be rather lenient as far as what religion they date can be pretty lenient on the other religions they date...as long as they are a beleiver. But an atheist would be crossing the line for Christians since atheist think when you die, you become pretty much an inanimate object (just a bunch of bones) with no afterlife. That you're worm food. lol And that doesn't sit well with Christians if they find out the person they might be dating is an Atheist. Heck , they would probably date an Agnostic though, because at least they believe in something.
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