if only Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 i been dating this guy for about a year and he lies to me all the time even when i catch him lieing. yet at the same time when its just me and him he makes me feel like the whole world but then i finaly had it and broke up with him. some how we end up back together and i end up pregnant! he wants to get maried and everything and started to tell the truth even if it hurts me and make me his world but now im not sure if its all a lie or not and i dont know wat to do. i dont know if i can ever trust him. yet i feel like i love him. its been 2 years now that i know him yet i feel like i dont know him at all.
SweetyBear Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 IMHO, I don't think expecting a child is ever a reason to get married. If he really wants to make you his world and take care of you and your baby and show how much he loves you and is no longer lying, he can show you through the course of your pregnancy and afterward. You don't have to be married for him to do this. I'm not sure how old you are. Do you have family that will be supportive or are you able to do this on your own? Maybe reach out to some resources in your community so that marrying him doesn't seem like it's your only option. I'm not saying things can never work, because I think there's always hope, but even with the best of intentions, real change in a person happens over time. Give it time and see if he really will stop his lying and become the man you need your husband and father of your child to be.
Author if only Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 Im 21 years old. Even my family wants me to get maried and they think its me and im the wrong one because i dont want to be maried. Everyones favoring him but they dont know how he is. Infront of them he act like hes head over heel but they dont know how he realy is. so everything i do is always wrong.
SweetyBear Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 How old is he? I tend to stick by my original advice. If you think your relationship with him is worth it, have him stick it out with you while you're pregnant, etc. and see how things go. Is your family morally opposed to you having a child without marriage or is it that they just believe it is the best option for you? I would really encourage you to explore what your other options might be to be on your own and raising the baby. Like I said, there may be community resources of which you are unaware. Is there a pregancy support center in your town? They may be able to offer you some avenues to explore. Of course, there's also the option of living together with your boyfriend, but not making it official by getting married until you're absolutely sure. I really believe if he wants to be there, he should be, especially for the sake of your baby, but I just think a marriage is not an absolute must. When I was 22, I married my baby's father. I didn't get married while I was pregnant, but my daughter was only 5 months old. Now looking back, I know a huge part of it was that I didn't think I could do it all alone. We were separated in less than a year of being married and I've been doing it all alone since. Now, I have a 13-year old daughter and a 12 year old son and we are just fine as our own little family. Your situation could be completely different, but if there's anything about him you are hoping that marriage or a child will change, I'm here to tell you, it won't happen overnight. People are who they are. I believe in change if someone is sincere and will work hard at it, but you can't prove that except through time.
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