lonelypiscesguy Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 So, I went to spy on my ex on facebook, and made an interesting discovery. She broke up with me March 25. But she changed her status from "in a relationship" to "single" March 20! So she had me drive 6 hours to L.A. for a d***tease, knowing full well that she was done with me! She just wanted me to feed her and entertain her and spend money on her! What a bitch! She said "You need to be down here" BEFORE then, so she knew damn well what she was doing! B****! Crank whore! So I found a good use for social networking. Anybody else have an experience like this? Just curious...and I know, pretty weak spying, but you know how it is. But I'm so glad I did!
CaliGuy Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 This is why I always say: "STOP STALKING YOUR EX!" You can't handle the information and it's only going to cause you more pain. NC means NOT stalking them online either.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 This is why I always say: "STOP STALKING YOUR EX!" You can't handle the information and it's only going to cause you more pain. NC means NOT stalking them online either. You don't get it, Cali. This has been SO elpful with healing. I am SO over the lying bitch!
CaliGuy Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 You don't get it, Cali. This has been SO elpful with healing. I am SO over the lying bitch! If it helps you, fine. All I am saying is that poking around online to see what they are up to isn't good for moving on with one's life. Sometimes we all need that proverbial smack in the face to get us to see the light.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 21, 2009 Author Posted May 21, 2009 If it helps you, fine. All I am saying is that poking around online to see what they are up to isn't good for moving on with one's life. Sometimes we all need that proverbial smack in the face to get us to see the light.I know what you're saying, bro, and you're right. As I poked around her profile and saw all the people I grew to like, mom, dad, sisters, bbf, etc. I felt sad and lonely. But when I saw her BS and the way she played me, I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief. BTW, Cali, I love your advice, you're wise beyond your years. Thanks!
CaliGuy Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I know what you're saying, bro, and you're right. As I poked around her profile and saw all the people I grew to like, mom, dad, sisters, bbf, etc. I felt sad and lonely. But when I saw her BS and the way she played me, I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief. BTW, Cali, I love your advice, you're wise beyond your years. Thanks! Well at 40, I should look older (I look 30!). Wish I had known at 30 what I know now, lol! Appreciate the kind words. Chin up, it does get better!
LadyV Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I have to agree Caliguy, you advice is awesome!!! 2 nights ago, after almost 3 weeks of not looking at his or her site, I crept my ex's facebook and her myspace....What a mistake that was because it put me in a "depression" I was so upset, but realized, what the heck!! That was a dumb move....But like you, it put stuff into perspective and makes me hate him....I don't want to hate him, after all, we were together for ony 5 months, but all these bad feelings came rushing back. I put my facebook on private. I don't want him knowing anything that is going on with me, (Like he even cares...he has a new distraction!) But just incase...17 days NC, and I really am starting to feel better...the down moments only come when I do something like look at his FB...which I vow to not do again!!! But it does remind me of the fact that I am glad that we aren't together anymore...Time for me to work on ME...and that is what I'm trying to do...
WhyYesThankYou Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 So, I went to spy on my ex on facebook, and made an interesting discovery. ... Anybody else have an experience like this? Just curious...and I know, pretty weak spying, but you know how it is. But I'm so glad I did! [nods head emphatically] Yep, I hear you... I hear you... And I get both sides of this. I get that the "healthy" thing to do is to move on and not look back. But personally I do find it - um - I'm not going to say "helpful," but it's "useful" to get some more insight into what (who) my ex has been doing. I had all these suspicions, but I was kind of doubting whether I was being paranoid or something. To go online and see photographic evidence that my fears were well-founded... Well, it doesn't help. It hurts. But once I get over thinking thoughts of violence and revenge, I still have the knowledge that I was right - my instincts were right. This is worth the temporary pain of seeing that his new "receptacle" is one step up on the evolutionary scale from a blow-up doll.
CaliGuy Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Gang, the reason why it's said to NOT cyber stalk (or any kind of stalk for that matter) your ex is simply because it will delay your healing. Are you aware that you only have a certain amount of time on this planet? Someone can probably break it down into seconds for you, but my point is when you waste time worrying, fretting, chasing, begging, pleading, etc with an ex, this is time you can NOT get back. Wouldn't you rather spend your time getting the most out of what God has in store for your life? I'm quite sure He doesn't want you fretting over someone He had no intentions of keeping in your life. Each failed relationship (or trial as I like to call it) means that you become more grounded. You live, you learn, you become a better person, RIPE for the one that was meant for you. Focus on the past only in the sense of LEARNING what to do and what NOT to do. I'm glad for every "ex" experience I've had. It's made me well rounded and ideal for the RIGHT woman. But I'm not going to waste my valuable time on them. Someone BETTER is coming along. Aren't you exicited about that?
ncgal Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 How right you are. I regret cyberstalking and now I found out he was lying and I'm left wondering why with no answers unless I confront him and then I will truly be a stalker, so ain't gonna happen. Of course, there is a big of validation that it wasn't all me or all in my head. I agree that though - in order to move forward, you will only slow your progression by looking backwards.
Nedved Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Gang, the reason why it's said to NOT cyber stalk (or any kind of stalk for that matter) your ex is simply because it will delay your healing. Are you aware that you only have a certain amount of time on this planet? Someone can probably break it down into seconds for you, but my point is when you waste time worrying, fretting, chasing, begging, pleading, etc with an ex, this is time you can NOT get back. Wouldn't you rather spend your time getting the most out of what God has in store for your life? I'm quite sure He doesn't want you fretting over someone He had no intentions of keeping in your life. Each failed relationship (or trial as I like to call it) means that you become more grounded. You live, you learn, you become a better person, RIPE for the one that was meant for you. Focus on the past only in the sense of LEARNING what to do and what NOT to do. I'm glad for every "ex" experience I've had. It's made me well rounded and ideal for the RIGHT woman. But I'm not going to waste my valuable time on them. Someone BETTER is coming along. Aren't you exicited about that? Great post cali guy. Speaking as a person who's very hurt right now your posts are very positive and encouraging. Your like the loveshack 'yoda'
You'reasian Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 So, I went to spy on my ex on facebook, and made an interesting discovery. She broke up with me March 25. But she changed her status from "in a relationship" to "single" March 20! So she had me drive 6 hours to L.A. for a d***tease, knowing full well that she was done with me! She just wanted me to feed her and entertain her and spend money on her! What a bitch! She said "You need to be down here" BEFORE then, so she knew damn well what she was doing! B****! Crank whore! So I found a good use for social networking. Anybody else have an experience like this? Just curious...and I know, pretty weak spying, but you know how it is. But I'm so glad I did! Spying on an ex-es facebook isn't helpful. Secondly, you decided to drive to see her. You're your own man. She didn't force you to do it.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Sometimes we all need that proverbial smack in the face to get us to see the light. Exactly. Though this is controversial for me. Checking her MySpace and blog she specifically writes in for me to see, both brings me down in a good and bad way. Before, it would make me feel hopeful that she would want me back when she wrote something nice. Then she would write something that made me realize that we're not going to get back together, and even though it hurts like a b*tch, I feel it's going to help me in some weird way, understand better what is happening. Don't get me wrong, though, I can't wait for the day to come when I'm not tempted to check either one. Then I'll be a huge step closer to being completely free from her selfish grip.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 How right you are. I regret cyberstalking and now I found out he was lying and I'm left wondering why with no answers unless I confront him and then I will truly be a stalker, so ain't gonna happen. Of course, there is a big of validation that it wasn't all me or all in my head. I agree that though - in order to move forward, you will only slow your progression by looking backwards.UPDATE: Just realized today that my lying slut ex (second one in a row!) began chatting with a dude from our old h.s. the DAY she broke up with me! Now, when she contacted me on classmates, it took a couple days for her email to reach me (we both had this problem, don't know why). So, she may have begun the process of cheating an hour or a few days before she broke up with me! People, BTW, 2 days ago, I was still wallowing in the pain, now I see what a lying crank whore she still is, and I am realizing things that I overlooked, but knew, were just shady. This has been very therapeutic, believe me! I needed to know the truth so I could quit torturing myself and start torturing the memory of her from my heart, mind and soul. What a c***!
Recommended Posts