ofallongold Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 A little background info: I'm 19 and have never had any sort of relationship. I never approach girls. I guess I expect to just wait for them to show interest in me and then I would act on it if I was interested. Girls have shown interest, but either I'm not interested in them like that, they are crazy, or have just broken up with my friend the day before. My situation: A while ago, one of my friends girlfriends asked me if I was still single. Of course I was. She said she had a friend who was telling her "there were no good guys out there" and she thought we would be perfect. I said sure. She brought her bowling one night along with another girl friend of ours, so it's me, two of my friends, and the new girl. We didn't really talk much, because it felt like I was being watched by the other two. A couple days later she was with our group of friends and I asked her for her number and got it. I took her to a baseball game, we got ice cream a few times, couple of movies, and I came over and hung out while she was babysitting a time or two. I liked her and I was pretty sure she liked me because she asked me a couple of times what I was doing a couple days from then because she wanted to do something. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, we had plans to do something that night, so I ask her what she's doing. She says that she has to go to the mall and get some things. I ask her to let me know when she's done and says ya. I don't hear from her for a while, and ask her that night if something was going on. "Nothing at all, why?" I say we were supposed to do something. "I'm sorry" The next night when she's at Prom with the friend who set us up, she says she doesn't really know me that well, and thinks we would be better friends, and maybe more than than later. Being my first experience with this, I didn't want to push it too much and never kissed her. The last time we hung out I planned on it, but at the end of the night, she turned her head in for a hug. I've only been good friends with girls, so I don't really know how to act any other way. I feel like if she knew that, that would help. Our friend told me not to say anything to her about it and not to bring it up. I've texted her a couple times and talked a little, but never about our situation. With her needing to be set up like me, I'd imagine she's not to experienced either but we never brought up past relationships. I guess I'm just asking for advice. Thanks for reading it all:D
BobSacamento Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I'd say if you went out with her more than twice and never made a move than you have your answer. She probably was bored or felt like you weren't attracted to her enough that way.
Author ofallongold Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 She did tell my friend after the last time I saw her she was waiting on me to kiss her, which I was going to that night. I never felt any of that from her though. Never any hints or anything like that (that I could recognize), so I felt if I did to early, she would be put off. I know it's my job as a guy, but it would have been really nice if she would have kissed me first if she wanted it that bad. I'll see her for the first time in a while at our friend's birthday party tomorrow, and it's not like I'll never see her again since we have a mutual friend. If we are alone and talk about "us", do you think it would be a bad idea to sneak a kiss on the cheek in, to let her know I'm still interested?
BCCA Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Well, you learned some valuable lessons here. Lesson #1: YOU are the man, women arent going to kiss you or ask you to kiss them more than .0001% of the time. Thats your job. If you get shot down, such is life my man. Dont expect to get signs or the 'perfect moment', you just have to suck it up and go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Lesson #2: If you go out with a girl more than 1-2 times, make a move or expect to be her friend from there on out. She was probably bored, and couldnt understand what you were waiting on. Lesson #3: This is over. Once your friend zoned, that where you'll ALWAYS be. You win some, you lose some...this one is lost. If we are alone and talk about "us", do you think it would be a bad idea to sneak a kiss on the cheek in, to let her know I'm still interested? I would bet big money that the last thing this girl wants to do is be alone and talk about you two. Ditto for the kiss. Next time, s**t or get off the pot. You need to make a move a lot sooner, or girls are going to think youre boring or not into them, niether of which is good.
Author ofallongold Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Well, you learned some valuable lessons here. Lesson #1: YOU are the man, women arent going to kiss you or ask you to kiss them more than .0001% of the time. Thats your job. If you get shot down, such is life my man. Dont expect to get signs or the 'perfect moment', you just have to suck it up and go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Lesson #2: If you go out with a girl more than 1-2 times, make a move or expect to be her friend from there on out. She was probably bored, and couldnt understand what you were waiting on. Lesson #3: This is over. Once your friend zoned, that where you'll ALWAYS be. You win some, you lose some...this one is lost. I would bet big money that the last thing this girl wants to do is be alone and talk about you two. Ditto for the kiss. Next time, s**t or get off the pot. You need to make a move a lot sooner, or girls are going to think youre boring or not into them, niether of which is good. I totally get all of that. I wish I just didn't have learned it with this girl. If I could do it again, it would have gone 10x better I think. Much would have rather gone through this with some girl I didn't care for as much as this one. She did tell our friend that she was going to talk to me about it. So maybe all is not lost if she really meant that there is still a chance later.
BCCA Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I totally get all of that. I wish I just didn't have learned it with this girl. If I could do it again, it would have gone 10x better I think. Much would have rather gone through this with some girl I didn't care for as much as this one. She did tell our friend that she was going to talk to me about it. So maybe all is not lost if she really meant that there is still a chance later. You know, the worst part about learning about relationships is that you almost always learn the hard way. If I could go back in time, I would or would not do a million things with a bunch of different girls, but you roll with the punches. If she wants to talk, then thats great. A lot of women dont, thats why i was trying to prepare you. Keep me updated man, I'd like to hear how it turns out.
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