Commander Scooby Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 So lately I have been working harder on getting out into the world, and working on my career. I am 20, and am a filmmaker, and want to further my career. I broke up with my girlfriend because in some ways I felt like she was holding me back, and I really wanted to focus on my future. I told her I wouldn't mind seeing her again in the future, once I get this all sorted out, which was a true statement, because I do love her. Well, she decided to start talking to and seeing my best friend, just a little background info, she cheated on me with an ex best friend of mine years ago, this is the second time we are together, and it has been completely different. It seems like she would have learned not to go there, but now that we are not together, she's doing what she can to talk to him. I've talked to him about it, and he says he wouldn't do anything with her, and that I should trust him, I am trusting him, but he still talks to her a lot and sees her now and then. Honestly I can tell he's trying, but sometimes the little head does all the thinking... I'm just...a little confused on what to do now? I don't want her in my life right now, because thinking about her only makes me want her, but my brain says its the right thing to do. What should I do about this? I'm more afraid of losing him as a friend, than her right now...she can go date whoever she wants because we are broken up, but...my best friend? I'm almost prepared to cut them both off from my life, because I'm afraid this is only going to get worse, before it gets better... Anyway, just looking to see what people think about this, what your opinions are. Thanks.
webmuse Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 well, you did break-up with her.. maybe the best friend is to inflict pain. As for the best bud, you should trust him or else why would he be your best bud..
CaliGuy Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 So lately I have been working harder on getting out into the world, and working on my career. I am 20, and am a filmmaker, and want to further my career. I broke up with my girlfriend because in some ways I felt like she was holding me back, and I really wanted to focus on my future. I told her I wouldn't mind seeing her again in the future, once I get this all sorted out, which was a true statement, because I do love her. A. You broke up with her. Whatever she does with her life now is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I don't care if you said you wouldn't mind seeing her in the future. You let her go, now she is free to date anyone she wants. B. I don't care what's going on in your life, if you TRULY love someone, you work things out. You don't cut them loose. Well, she decided to start talking to and seeing my best friend, just a little background info, she cheated on me with an ex best friend of mine years ago, this is the second time we are together, and it has been completely different. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on ME. It seems like she would have learned not to go there, but now that we are not together, she's doing what she can to talk to him. That's none of your business. I've talked to him about it, and he says he wouldn't do anything with her, and that I should trust him, I am trusting him, but he still talks to her a lot and sees her now and then. You need to keep your nose out of his and her business. They can do whatever they want. They are adults and you are not dating her. If you have a problem with who she is seeing then you should have thought about that before you broke up with her. Honestly I can tell he's trying, but sometimes the little head does all the thinking... I'm just...a little confused on what to do now? I don't want her in my life right now, because thinking about her only makes me want her, but my brain says its the right thing to do. What should I do about this? You should keep your nose of her business or tell her you want her back. One or the other. You can't say "I don't want to be with you" and then think you can dictate who she can or can not date. You can't have your cake and eat it too. That's not REAL LIFE my friend. I'm more afraid of losing him as a friend, than her right now...she can go date whoever she wants because we are broken up, but...my best friend? Once again, it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. You let her go, who are YOU to determine for him who he can or can not date? Granted, it's probably not good mojo for him to date her but again, they are adults and can do what they want. I'm almost prepared to cut them both off from my life, because I'm afraid this is only going to get worse, before it gets better... Anyway, just looking to see what people think about this, what your opinions are. Thanks. I think your last statement is correct. If him dating her is bothering you so badly and he refuses to stop, then cut them both out of your life.
Author Commander Scooby Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 I guess I can just learn to accept it, I just don't want to lose a friend to her...again. But your right, I did break up with her, I just need to keep reminding myself of the reasons why... Thanks for that Cali, I may not want to hear it...but I'll take it. I'm a realist, and I need to try and look at the situation from all angles...and not try to fool myself from what's really going on.
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