innocent Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and seven months He is my first serious boyfriend, he is my best friend and I can talk to him about practically anything and everything, which is hard for me to do I just cannot talk about my emotions to anyone, unless I know you really really well. He has been there for my every problem and always tired to comfort me and figure out a soution. I had been extermely depresssed for a long time, and after I was getting out of my depression I had several boyfriends that I thought were serious, but weren't really. Then I met him, and I just feel more like myself, I used to be very shy and not let people walk all over me, and take advantage of me, and I never opened up to him, until about 6 months into our relationship, and he told me he loved me, then I was just floored, I just really have isssues with trust and I couldn't believe this. Our relationship is just so very strong, and when we were in high school everyone just asked us for advice because we got along so well. last summer came and went too fast, and about 2 months ago I moved away to college. And I miss him so much and I don't even look or think about dating other guys and I hardly get to see him, and talk to him, and at times it is very hard, b/c I was so spoiled I spent every minute I could when I was in the same city as him, and now I just really wish that he was here. When I do se him I just am so happy that I cannot contain myself I run and jump into his arms, and always cry when I have to leave him. My parents, especially my mom thinks that this won't last she is always telling me to date other guys and that I will date many other guys at college but I don't want to. My boyfriend is of the lower class and has had many problems in his life. His dad was murdered, mother always taking pills and too out of it to take care of him, and he has had to take care of his little brother for years, now he is living with his older sister, and doesn't have very much money. I have no problem with this at all. My thing is that he has been in trouble with the law. several times, and if my parents found out they would do everything in the world to keep me away from him, and he is not a bad person, he is sweet and kind and exteremely generous, he would give a stranger the shirt off of his back if they needed it. But I am so scared that my parents might find out, and just assume that he is just some lowly criminal, who is trying to drag me down. He isn't at all he has plans to go to college and trying to get out of the ghetto that he has been stuck in for most of his life. I would never leave him but what if? what if they found out? I could explain it to them but they wouldn't listen it just scares me because I love my parents and want to make them happy, but I want to bee happy too and he makes me feel that way, and I just don't know what I would do if that was to happen.....what would you do? My parents are extremely strict, and I promise that this is not a form of rebellion because I have never rebelled against them ever.... Link to post Share on other sites
iceprincess Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 Hi, sweetie, I can see you're stuck between your parents and your boyfriend. Let's think of it this way, this is your life, you're parents are not going to be living it for you, don't let them. Like you said, he's not a bad person, you're not a bad person, all you want to do is be happy. Self-fulfillment is hard when you take into consideration how hard your parents worked to get you to where you are right now. They want you to do well in college so that you won't fall into the "lower" class. Yet, you have a boyfriend who obviously loves and cares about you. What do you mean your BF had troubles with the law in the past? Is he still in trouble with them? Is he doing things that are illegal? You said he wants to go to college and progress his life so he can get out of the ghettos; let him do that, go ahead and give him advice. But before you help him (financially and other means), help yourself first. Don't let this hurt your education because it will surely come back to bite you in the buttocks. I know it's hard to be away from your BF, but don't make yourself so emotionally dependent on him that you can't concentrate and cry when you have to leave him. Have confidence that he'll always be there for you; you guys will have weekends and holidays to spend time with each other. Be strong. Good luck. I hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocent Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 Thank you you are right on target. I am not helping him financially, I just want to help him like visit the school and fill out finacial aide and scholarships, just get him started. the enviroment and friends that he was around always got him into trouble, he has been arrested twice. not for anything bad, just alcohol as a minor, and DUI. I haven't told my parents and don't want to b/c they would look down upon him, and he deserves more than that because he has been treated like a burden all of his life, that is hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocent Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 well it is bad, but not like armmed robbery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocent Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 Anybody???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocent Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 I know it is a bad thing, but for the DUI he wasn't drunk or on anything, he had be working construction nonstop in the hot sun, not eating or drinking but maybe once or less a day, and not getting hardly any sleep. So he hit a car on accident and hit his head and the police officers automatically arrested him. and now he has to deal with all of this sh*t and it sucks....but that is not the point.....can anyone help me? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 You're an adult now. You make your own choices, and that includes your choice of mate. If your parents don't approve, that is their problem. DUI is not something that makes one a 'lowly criminal'; they probably have a bunch of friends who have had them. Keep up your relationship, keep helping him out and be proud of all he's doing to help himself. He'll probably be a better man than some coddled upper-classer who's never had to work hard to get what he wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
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