Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 If you can't handle it now, you're going to have problems with these insecurities for a long time. You're just going to have to get over it. Are you a guy? I wish I were a guy..most men during the summer are covered from head to toe. They even make shorts that look like pants for men. You aren't under this type of pressure as a woman. To always feel like you are in compeition, always having to wear the tightest pants the tightest tops, wear the sexiest clothes just to feel validated I have walked past a guy in a pair of skin tight jeans or skirt and got his attention, then walk past that same guy in a conservative outfit and he acted as if he never saw me before in his life. I remember a guy would only talk to me when I wore stuff that was kinda sexy, but when I was more covered up he didn't pay me any mind This is the type of pressure I feel under.
sxyNYCcpl Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I have walked past a guy in a pair of skin tight jeans or skirt and got his attention, then walk past that same guy in a conservative outfit and he acted as if he never saw me before in his life. If you caught someone's attention when dressed in such a way then perhaps your self-doubt is misplaced. If your concerns are more related to you *WISH* men would be as attracted to someone "in a conservative outfit" as they are to someone "in a pair of skin tight jeans" then I would give you the same advice my father gave me. Wish in one hand, and spit in the other. See which one fills up first. Things are how they are, and sharp and sexy is much more interesting that bland and conservative.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 If you caught someone's attention when dressed in such a way then perhaps your self-doubt is misplaced. If your concerns are more related to you *WISH* men would be as attracted to someone "in a conservative outfit" as they are to someone "in a pair of skin tight jeans" then I would give you the same advice my father gave me. Wish in one hand, and spit in the other. See which one fills up first. Things are how they are, and sharp and sexy is much more interesting that bland and conservative. So I can only be interesting to a man when I am dressing sexy and not conservatively? I guess there aren't enough men who like conservative dressing women. I'm doomed Every outfit in my closet should be sexy then
sb129 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I'm not fat or anything. I'm average size. I could be more in shape, most people could be, but even if I did want to tone up, by the time I saw results the summer would be over with. Not true. Its only May. I lost 4kg and toned up for my wedding in a month. "I'm not happy with my body." "Well, do something about it." "It's too late now." "It's never too late to get healthy." "Why do I have to do this?" "You don't but don't just bitch and whine about it, do something. Bitching and whining gets you nowhere in life." "You just don't understand." "Apparently not." Meagan, I don't even know why I am continuing to bother with you, because you never read other peoples posts about themselves, you never offer anyone else advice, you just continue on your self pitying mission. You are under pressure because YOU CREATE THE PRESSURE IN YOUR HEAD. If you were happy with yourself you wouldn't give a f**k about what other girls are wearing.
Trialbyfire Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Things are how they are, and sharp and sexy is much more interesting that bland and conservative.I agree with much of what you said except for this aspect, to a degree. You're assuming that conservative dressing is always bland and more than likely, frumpy. Not necessarily. If a woman knows what suits her and has a good sense of style, she can make conservative, work for her.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Not true. Its only May. I lost 4kg and toned up for my wedding in a month. What is 4kg? Meagan, I don't even know why I am continuing to bother with you, because you never read other peoples posts about themselves, you never offer anyone else advice, you just continue on your self pitying mission. You are under pressure because YOU CREATE THE PRESSURE IN YOUR HEAD. If you were happy with yourself you wouldn't give a f**k about what other girls are wearing. I do offer advice that is not true
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Stirring stuff. And a complete miss. I don't see what is a miss at all actually. I asked a couple questions, as did the OP and there are a few questions alot of guys have side stepped. I see a huge double standard here. The judgement and name calling for women that dress sexy showing off their bodies by the same guys who look and oggle them. The not wanting your SO to get oggled but being okay with oggling other women. Whatever. It blows.
sb129 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Every outfit in my closet should be sexy then Either that or you could invest in one of these Or these
sxyNYCcpl Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I guess there aren't enough men who like conservative dressing women. Depends on how you define "enough". All it takes is one, and if you are all about conservative over sexy there are those out there who prefer that. Less than those that prefer the alternative, but they exist nonetheless. However, if you change tactics to go "sexy" when deep down you want "conservative", whatever male attention you get will end up objecting vociferously when the inevitable happens and you get comfortable enough with the relationship to let the real you out. Every outfit in my closet should be sexy then Good plan, as long as you own it, mean it, and truly want to be a woman with a closet full of sexy things. If you end up faking it, well, see above.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 I don't see what is a miss at all actually. I asked a couple questions, as did the OP and there are a few questions alot of guys have side stepped. I see a huge double standard here. The judgement and name calling for women that dress sexy showing off their bodies by the same guys who look and oggle them. The not wanting your SO to get oggled but being okay with oggling other women. Whatever. It blows. It's confusing for me. it sends a mixed message. The whole concept gives me anxiety. As a woman I have to realize that I am never just enough for one man.
sb129 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 What is 4kg? Nearly 9lb I do offer advice that is not true Did you read the rest of the posts?
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Nearly 9lb Did you read the rest of the posts? Yes, one poster is telling me that I should dress sexy because more men prefer that look than to the conservative one.
sxyNYCcpl Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 If a woman knows what suits her and has a good sense of style, she can make conservative, work for her. True, but the fact remains that many (most?) men, given the choice between sharp and sexy vs. stylish and conservative will choose sharp and sexy. As I said to the OP in my supplemental post, however, if she tries to fake it, ultimately it will cause problems. If she decides that she needs to go to the nude beach in order to attract the attention of a guy, only to then announce after the relationship has solidified that rather than a nude beach kind of gal, she's really all about a one piece that covers from head to toe, there will be drama. An admittedly extreme example but applicable nonetheless.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 True, but the fact remains that many (most?) men, given the choice between sharp and sexy vs. stylish and conservative will choose sharp and sexy. As I said to the OP in my supplemental post, however, if she tries to fake it, ultimately it will cause problems. If she decides that she needs to go to the nude beach in order to attract the attention of a guy, only to then announce after the relationship has solidified that rather than a nude beach kind of gal, she's really all about a one piece that covers from head to toe, there will be drama. An admittedly extreme example but applicable nonetheless. Well, I'm damned either way:sick:
sxyNYCcpl Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Either that or you could invest in one of these Or these I'd prefer one of these.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 I might drop all of my summer courses. I don't think my mental state can take this anymore.
GorillaTheater Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I don't see what is a miss at all actually. The fact that soulsearch is a woman?
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Why is that? Nothing. I'm just tired of feeling like I have to break my back by competing with other women to please men all the time, to get their attention.
sxyNYCcpl Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I'm just tired of feeling like I have to break my back by competing with other women to please men all the time, to get their attention. So you don't like/want to dress sexy (however you define that)?
Kamille Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Nothing. I'm just tired of feeling like I have to break my back by competing with other women to please men all the time, to get their attention. so... does that mean the only reason you are bothering to take classes is to meet men?
Trialbyfire Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 True, but the fact remains that many (most?) men, given the choice between sharp and sexy vs. stylish and conservative will choose sharp and sexy. As I said to the OP in my supplemental post, however, if she tries to fake it, ultimately it will cause problems. If she decides that she needs to go to the nude beach in order to attract the attention of a guy, only to then announce after the relationship has solidified that rather than a nude beach kind of gal, she's really all about a one piece that covers from head to toe, there will be drama. An admittedly extreme example but applicable nonetheless.Conservative dressing can also be sexy and more importantly, is a woman dressing in an appropriate fashion for not only what suits her but what environment she's in: Case in point: Example A: A well-tailored suit, softened by a feminine blouse, hair in a chignon with a few stray curls, a pair of peep-toed shoes or strappy sandals showing well manicured toenails, and possibly glasses = business attire. She's got a rockin' body and moves like it, with full on confidence in her femininity and womanhood. Example B: The same woman in clothing that doesn't suit her AND worse yet, is three sizes too small for her, in the office, chewing bubble gum and not very well groomed, poor posture, either lurking around or sashaying, reliant on the amount of men who might be watching. You can bet that most men will be gravitating towards Example A.
sxyNYCcpl Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 You can bet that most men will be gravitating towards Example A. No doubt. Which is why I used the qualifier "sharp".
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 The fact that soulsearch is a woman? What does it matter if she is a woman or man? I think there is alot of truth to what I say. It's okay if men ogle other sexily dressed women. It's not okay for a woman to dress sexy other wise she is a "tramp". What is that about? Seems pretty judgemental if you ask me. And it seems that we are saying it's okay if men do this or that but women need to conform to a narrow set of rules. I know enough about men to know that they are judgmental about women often when it comes to how a woman dresses. They will call a girl a slut for dressing sexy but at the same time stare and enjoy the show. Hypocritical and insecure. Why can't men handle their woman dressing sexy to show off her body. They sure eat it up when it's other women. It's a double standard and frankly, it blows. Women are suppose to be so confident and in control and cool and men are allowed to drool after other women and call women names for their choices in clothes. YOu don't think that's messed up?
Jaytb Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Are you a guy? I wish I were a guy..most men during the summer are covered from head to toe. They even make shorts that look like pants for men. You aren't under this type of pressure as a woman. To always feel like you are in compeition, always having to wear the tightest pants the tightest tops, wear the sexiest clothes just to feel validated I have walked past a guy in a pair of skin tight jeans or skirt and got his attention, then walk past that same guy in a conservative outfit and he acted as if he never saw me before in his life. I remember a guy would only talk to me when I wore stuff that was kinda sexy, but when I was more covered up he didn't pay me any mind This is the type of pressure I feel under. I am a guy. I don't dress head to toe in the summer because it's too hot . It seems like your validation only comes from the magnitude of guys' interest or else you wouldn't care about those other girls. Why don't you just focus on taking your summer class and doing well instead of making it out into some kind of game?
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