MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 the weather has gotten much warmer where I am from I am taking summer classes at my university to finish up, and all the girls are dressed down, dressed more revealing. I feel so insecure. Like I need to dress down to look like them but I am not confident enough to do that and I don't like my body right now. Now I really won't find a boyfriend wth half naked girls all around for men to look at. Just how am I going to stand out now??
jayOG Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Hit the gym. Most of my clothing is tight fighting, at least for a guy... I usually gain weight in the winter because of late night studying and poor diet...and when warmer weather rolls around I try to prep myself for t-shirts... So I drop about 10-20 lbs. Takes a week for 10lbs. Just healthy diet: soup, grilled chicken, vegetables, and fruit. Work out every other day and cardio everyday. I'm at 185 right now, plan on dropping to 160... ehhh I'll be a stick... for grappling though...weight classes...
ruggy Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Hit the gym. Most of my clothing is tight fighting, at least for a guy... I usually gain weight in the winter because of late night studying and poor diet...and when warmer weather rolls around I try to prep myself for t-shirts... So I drop about 10-20 lbs. Takes a week for 10lbs. Just healthy diet: soup, grilled chicken, vegetables, and fruit. Work out every other day and cardio everyday. I'm at 185 right now, plan on dropping to 160... ehhh I'll be a stick... for grappling though...weight classes... Dropping 10LBS in a week is not healthy. Actually, since restarting my workout regiment (its pretty intensive), I've gained five pounds in about a week or so.
bean1 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Fucc all those stupid whores shoving out their titties and asses and breaking every guy's heart they can find. you don't want to be like them anyway. LOL. Bit of a projection here. So it's summer, big deal. At least at 18-19 you can get away with a tank top and mini skirt. The OP is very insecure about other girls looking better than her (past posts will confirm), this is very much her problem, not other girls.
jayOG Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Dropping 10LBS in a week is not healthy. Actually, since restarting my workout regiment (its pretty intensive), I've gained five pounds in about a week or so. 10lbs a week is fine for training, at least for what i'm doing and my physical conditioning.
IcemanJB Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I don't see how posting on an internet dating forum is going to help in any way, shape, or form. Before you start working out or whatever, work on positive self-talk, and on how you view yourself. That's probably the most important thing right now.
ruggy Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I don't see how posting on an internet dating forum is going to help in any way, shape, or form. Before you start working out or whatever, work on positive self-talk, and on how you view yourself. That's probably the most important thing right now. Building self-esteem helps.. In any, shape or form.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 The guys of true quality will not be interested in a girl merely because she's half-naked. Sure - they're fun to look at, but I can name at least a dozen very quality guys that are MARRIED to girls that would NEVER dress like that and NEVER DID.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 The guys of true quality will not be interested in a girl merely because she's half-naked. Sure - they're fun to look at, but I can name at least a dozen very quality guys that are MARRIED to girls that would NEVER dress like that and NEVER DID. So a "quality" guy is one that will look at other half naked women enjoying the view but is so insecure he married a girl that covers up more because he can't stand the idea that she might want to walk around half naked. LAME. And hypocritical. We prattle on about how insecure women are but lets be honest. Men are just as insecure. Most men don't liek the idea of their own SO dressing sexy but will defend looking at other sexy girls. Why the heck should a woman dress to cover up and not look sexy if her own man is looking at other women. Your friends sound more insecure then quality.
jayOG Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Dropping 10LBS in a week is not healthy. Actually, since restarting my workout regiment (its pretty intensive), I've gained five pounds in about a week or so. You doing weight training? MMA/BJJ and no gi grappling. There are weight classes for competition. It's kind of necessary to be able to drop weight quickly. Plyometrics, anaerobics, and callisthetics is what training mostly consist of... so it's not that insane to drop 10lbs in week under this type of training. The OP said she doesn't like her body right now, so I'm assuming it's because she doesn't have the beach body at this monent. Well working out and proper diet solves that problem. Whether she is too thin or not thin enough. And voila she will like her body, because it will look and feel sexy. Being in shape just boost your confidence no matter what, don't listen to all the other nonsense about how you need to sit down and work on your self esteem. Take action and work out your body, when you can run a mile 7 minute how can you not feel great about yourself?!?!?!?!?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 So a "quality" guy is one that will look at other half naked women enjoying the view but is so insecure he married a girl that covers up more because he can't stand the idea that she might want to walk around half naked. LAME. And hypocritical. We prattle on about how insecure women are but lets be honest. Men are just as insecure. Most men don't liek the idea of their own SO dressing sexy but will defend looking at other sexy girls. Why the heck should a woman dress to cover up and not look sexy if her own man is looking at other women. Your friends sound more insecure then quality. LMFAO!!! How funny and incredibly judgmental of you. No - every guy looks. Don't tell me there is a single guy that doesn't. It's called human nature. But they have chosen women that don't flash thighs, boobs, butts to get men/prove their worth. Women that have brains and choose to let that speak instead of body parts. And seriously - they don't OGLE half-naked chicks. That's rude and disrespectful. But you can't tell me there's a single human being on this planet that doesn't pass SOMETHING that catches their eye enough for them to think, "That was interesting." I call bull****. If a chick is going to be stupid enough to let it hang out, then she should expect it to get looked at. And IMO - there is a difference between dressing SEXY and dressing TRAMPY. BIG DIFFERENCE. These men chose SEXY women and NOT tramps.
bean1 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 The OP said she doesn't like her body right now, so I'm assuming it's because she doesn't have the beach body at this monent. Well working out and proper diet solves that problem. Whether she is too thin or not thin enough. And voila she will like her body, because it will look and feel sexy. You are certainly of the male gender A woman could look like Adriana Lima and still hate her body in the mirror. I'm sure Adriana does. We are strange creatures.
Mahatma Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 The guys of true quality will not be interested in a girl merely because she's half-naked. Sure - they're fun to look at, but I can name at least a dozen very quality guys that are MARRIED to girls that would NEVER dress like that and NEVER DID. Yes yes yes! I have no problem looking at eye candy, however I would not be happy with my girlfriend if she dressed like a slut. My girlfriend would look spectacular in a mini skirt, but she does not like to wear skirts because she thinks they look trashy, and I agree. The girls like that are fun to look at, but that is where it stops for me even when I'm single.
jayOG Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 You are certainly of the male gender A woman could look like Adriana Lima and still hate her body in the mirror. I'm sure Adriana does. We are strange creatures. yup yup. I understand your point, but she seemed to be comparing herself relative to other classmates and not a mirror. If it was a mirror and she has an awesome looking body relative to other people than I would say insecure self esteem issues... but to other people usually means there is room for physical improvement.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 yup yup. I understand your point, but she seemed to be comparing herself relative to other classmates and not a mirror. If it was a mirror and she has an awesome looking body relative to other people than I would say insecure self esteem issues... but to other people usually means there is room for physical improvement. You just contradicted yourself. LOL Not comparing herself to other people - just her mirror and if she looks awesome compared to other people... But anyway - there will ALWAYS be somebody out there that looks better than you do. And for girls, comparing seems to be a contagious disease. A girl will ALWAYS be able to find SOMEONE that has SOMETHING better than she does.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 LMFAO!!! How funny and incredibly judgmental of you. No - every guy looks. Don't tell me there is a single guy that doesn't. It's called human nature. But they have chosen women that don't flash thighs, boobs, butts to get men/prove their worth. Women that have brains and choose to let that speak instead of body parts. And seriously - they don't OGLE half-naked chicks. That's rude and disrespectful. But you can't tell me there's a single human being on this planet that doesn't pass SOMETHING that catches their eye enough for them to think, "That was interesting." I call bull****. If a chick is going to be stupid enough to let it hang out, then she should expect it to get looked at. And IMO - there is a difference between dressing SEXY and dressing TRAMPY. BIG DIFFERENCE. These men chose SEXY women and NOT tramps. You try to call me judgmental but label women "trampy" for dressing a certain way? I don't get it. What is so bad about a woman wanting to dress sexy and be noticed? By looking at other women, are you going to leave your partner for them? By your woman being looked at by dressing sexy, is she going to leave you? Most likely not. How come it always comes down to male human nature = okay. Female human nature = bad. We aren't allowed to want to be sexy or have other men notice us other then our SO even if our own SOs are ogling half naked women. That's real nice guys. Real nice. And we get called names for it and you guys are what? Great boyfriends and husbands for oggling behind your SO's back? We are whores if we want to dress sexy and show off our assets but your great guys for oggling other women because it's your "nature"? Real nice guys.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 But anyway - there will ALWAYS be somebody out there that looks better than you do. And husbands and boyfriends will always be eager to look/lust/admire her.
sb129 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Well I am carrying at least an extra 10kg at the moment, (and a baby), and I am getting HUGE! I am also hormonal, and I am not interested in sex, and go to bed most days at 9pm. I am getting bigger at a rate of knots, and probably will take at least a year from now (if ever) to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. If there ever was a time to feel insecure and paranoid that H will stray because of all the hot, non-pregnant, thin girls, up for it,HORNY girls out there, now is it. Am I insecure and paranoid? Am I F88k..... I am not in the slightest bit worried, because H still thinks I am sexy, and.......... THERE IS MORE TO A RELATIONSHIP THAN LOOKS. If you are confident, carry yourself well with good posture, groom well, and dress to suit your figure rather than force yourself into the latest teeny tiny trends, you will ALWAYS stand out, whether you are 50kg or 150kg.
GorillaTheater Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 You try to call me judgmental but label women "trampy" for dressing a certain way? I don't get it. What is so bad about a woman wanting to dress sexy and be noticed? By looking at other women, are you going to leave your partner for them? By your woman being looked at by dressing sexy, is she going to leave you? Most likely not. How come it always comes down to male human nature = okay. Female human nature = bad. We aren't allowed to want to be sexy or have other men notice us other then our SO even if our own SOs are ogling half naked women. That's real nice guys. Real nice. And we get called names for it and you guys are what? Great boyfriends and husbands for oggling behind your SO's back? We are whores if we want to dress sexy and show off our assets but your great guys for oggling other women because it's your "nature"? Real nice guys. Stirring stuff. And a complete miss.
northstar1 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 the weather has gotten much warmer where I am from I am taking summer classes at my university to finish up, and all the girls are dressed down, dressed more revealing. I feel so insecure. Like I need to dress down to look like them but I am not confident enough to do that and I don't like my body right now. Now I really won't find a boyfriend wth half naked girls all around for men to look at. Just how am I going to stand out now?? If you want to feel more secure, why not get yourself in better shape? Join a gym, or a running group, or take some classes? Nothing but benefits coming with doing more cardio - you'll have more energy, feel better, and look better.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 I'm not fat or anything. I'm average size. I could be more in shape, most people could be, but even if I did want to tone up, by the time I saw results the summer would be over with. It's not even that, I just feel like I am compeititon with other girls. Everybody is wearing tight clothes, the guys are hanging out looking at the women..I don't feel like I have any value unless I dress like them and look better at it. I don't even want to go to school this summer because of it. The girls are all walking around looking bytchy, sizing each other up, ugh I just hate it. While all the men are practically covered up from head to toe
Jaytb Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I'm not fat or anything. I'm average size. I could be more in shape, most people could be, but even if I did want to tone up, by the time I saw results the summer would be over with. It's not even that, I just feel like I am compeititon with other girls. Everybody is wearing tight clothes, the guys are hanging out looking at the women..I don't feel like I have any value unless I dress like them and look better at it. I don't even want to go to school this summer because of it. The girls are all walking around looking bytchy, sizing each other up, ugh I just hate it. While all the men are practically covered up from head to toe If you can't handle it now, you're going to have problems with these insecurities for a long time. You're just going to have to get over it.
jayOG Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 You just contradicted yourself. LOL Not comparing herself to other people - just her mirror and if she looks awesome compared to other people... I think you may have read my post too quickly or misunderstood it. There is no contradiction. A baseline has to be established or who is to say what is and what is not, that baseline is other people. Her feelings are based on our current understanding of societal norms. If she compares herself to a mirror and is dissatisfied with her beach body than it has to do with self esteem. She is looking at her body alone. Meaning she doesn't particularly like something about her body, but other people think she looks amazing. If she compares her body relative to the general population and is dissatisfied than there is room for improvement.
Trialbyfire Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 "I'm not happy with my body." "Well, do something about it." "It's too late now." "It's never too late to get healthy." "Why do I have to do this?" "You don't but don't just bitch and whine about it, do something. Bitching and whining gets you nowhere in life." "You just don't understand." "Apparently not."
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