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I feel so embarrassed


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Posted

Had this crush on a guy for two years and thought it was reciprocated as he flirted with me and we did meet up a couple of times outside work.

 

He's hinted at going out for drinks sometime, but I never picked up on it until after I read some advice saying that this is how shy men initiate a date. So I asked him when and where and before you knew it we had a date. Or so I thought. First he postponed and then on the day he tried to change the time, then finally he cancelled.

 

I'm so embarrassed and devastated because I thought he shared my feelings. Instead he gave me the "I think you're great" speech. I've had a crush on him for so long that I think I'm totally overreacting. I feel like completely avoiding him, but if I do I'll miss spending time with our mutual friends. Help! What should I do? Should I cut off contact with him or shall I act like nothing happened? And what if he tells our mutual friends?

Posted

OK first - He isn't thinking about this as much as you are. He isn't thinking you did anything stupid, if he is still giving it any thought at all, he is thinking he did something stupid.

 

Dont avoid him , dont mention anything at all about it again. You are magnifying this because you have a crush on him. He has NO IDEA that you were this excited or this disappointed.

 

Nothing has changed, at least nothing that could cause you embarrassment.

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Posted
OK first - He isn't thinking about this as much as you are. He isn't thinking you did anything stupid, if he is still giving it any thought at all, he is thinking he did something stupid.

 

Dont avoid him , dont mention anything at all about it again. You are magnifying this because you have a crush on him. He has NO IDEA that you were this excited or this disappointed.

 

Nothing has changed, at least nothing that could cause you embarrassment.

 

 

Thanks. I feel a lot better. I guess I'm also worried that things may now be very awkward between us. I wish I'd never followed that advice. lol!

Posted

If you had the confidence to put it out there, which you do...

Then you have the confidence and grace to deal with this very small sort of rejection.

Do not take it personally.

Never project your own feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy to others.

 

lol. With the right " couldn't care less" attitude he will soon wonder if he misunderstood your intention!

 

Thats how you begin to reflect an attitude of being comfortable with who you are, a person who takes the high road, etc. Very attractive traits.

 

You are nearly there!

Posted

Honestly, I've come to see that it's better to put it all out there and have the guy skulk away than it is to keep it to youself and be okay with mixed signals and hot and cold.

 

If you can manage to rise above this I think you'll see like I do that it's very much his loss.

  • Author
Posted
If you had the confidence to put it out there, which you do...

Then you have the confidence and grace to deal with this very small sort of rejection.

Do not take it personally.

Never project your own feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy to others.

 

lol. With the right " couldn't care less" attitude he will soon wonder if he misunderstood your intention!

 

Thats how you begin to reflect an attitude of being comfortable with who you are, a person who takes the high road, etc. Very attractive traits.

 

You are nearly there!

 

What you say is really empowering. I've already dodged meeting him once so I'm going to step back up there and behave as if nothing ever happened.

 

Thanks! :)

  • Author
Posted
Honestly, I've come to see that it's better to put it all out there and have the guy skulk away than it is to keep it to youself and be okay with mixed signals and hot and cold.

 

I agree. I used to believe in waiting and waiting and waiting until he made a move. But I've realised I've now wasted two years on a guy who just likes to flirt for sport. In the end I called his bluff.

 

If you can manage to rise above this I think you'll see like I do that it's very much his loss.

Funnily enough, I agree with your point of view. :)

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