cyabye Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 I just found out my STBXW is in ANOTHER relationship. We have been separated for over a year now pending the finalization of the divorce. I guess I am mostly concerned about my kids and how they will be affected. She makes very poor choices. But why do I feel some hurt still from finding this out? I made up my mind a year ago that I do not want anything to do with her anymore. Just curious as to why it still hurts a little I guess. Thanks, cyabye
JLee26 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 So are you saying that you were a poor choice as well? if all of her choices are bad.........
Author cyabye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 JLee26, Thanks for that worthless reply. Yes, I am a poor choice . Hope I can help you out one day too. Have a nice day. cyabye
webmuse Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 cya, it hurts because maybe in the back of your mind there was that little sliver of hope, that evil thing that seems to linger long after you expect it to.
Author cyabye Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Thanks Web. I appreciate your response. One thing I learned over the past year is that she hasn't changed one friggin bit. I guess deep down I wanted her to say she made a mistake and regretted what she did. Maybe it would of helped my self esteem/bruised ego. Who knows? But I know that is not going to happen. Maybe this is the time for all the wrongs she did to be righted. I do believe in "You reap what you sow" or "karma" etc. Anyway, she has found true love now...........LMAO. And I will remain SINGLE and STABLE. Thanks, cyabye
skinman Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 cyabye, Sorry to read that your still hurting but its completely understandable... I feel the same at times about my stbxw who is in a relationship.. I think it has a lot to do with our ego's.. We tend to dwell on the thoughts of how easily we were replaced by someone who has meant so much to us.. Time will help out friend.. I believe that if it was true love there will always be that small part of her in your heart and at times some random memory will cause a little ache. I myself will most likely always have a special place in my heart for my cheating stbxw because of the love I have felt for her... I would never take her back but I will always care somewhat for her, in time that will fade like the hurt you feel now....... Be strong friend you are not alone.. Skin
Biggie25x Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Cya, it still hurts because you care about them. They were an integral part of your life and one of the most important people that you were ever involvedf with. That is not something you get over quickly. I have learned in my divorcecare group that it takes between 1 to 5 years to totally recover form the loss of your marriage. The thing is it will still effect you. Don't worry about it. Think of something else and worry about yourself. What she does is inconsequential and has zero impact on your life. Just realize this as you take care of yourself. In the end you will be rocovered and over it before she even truly knows what hits her. Keep posting. As you know there is great advice on here.
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