Girl playing dumb card?

[JadedHeart]

Question for the ladies...

 

Girls KNOW when a guy likes them right?

When they take them out to eat one on one, do date like activities, etc...

But then they play the dumb card oh I thought we were just hanging out, or

I thought we were just friends.

 

Are girls really that oblivious? Or are they just playing stupid...

 

I personally think it's the latter.

 

Do you think it's wrong for them to keep hanging out with them knowing they want to be more than friends?

 

I've personally always disappeared off the face of the earth and I was never ever the guy who wanted to be more, because well...

Once I realized I was in the friend zone there would be nothing left.

 

Insight would be greatly appreciated Thank You

[WhyYesThankYou]

I can see why this would be frustrating, if you're doing things that are really obviously (to you) dating activities, and the girls either think or at least say that they thought you were just hanging out.

 

However, I think there are some guys who *do* spend time with girls one-on-one, all datey like, but they aren't dates. And girls get confused, and sometimes act on the side of "this is probably just friendly" as a self-defense mechanism.

 

For example, I once hung out with a guy who was really nice to me, invited me to do things with him and his friends and then just with him. He'd take me out to dinner, or he'd cook me dinner. We went to concerts together. For my birthday, he took me to Shakespeare in the Park. It all seemed very datey... on paper. He would do things like offer me a mint on the drive home (as he's driving me back to my place - I thought he was gearing up for us both to have minty-fresh breath for an impending kiss). But when I lingered in the car, there was never an attempt at a kiss. And if I invited him in for coffee, he never accepted. It was just nice one-on-one outing, followed by, "That was fun, goodnight."

 

So either this is a phenomemon that has other girls' guards up too, or maybe I just have really bad breath.

 

Back to you, though - how are you wording the invitations to these girls? Are you asking if they "want to hang out on Saturday?" Or, "I'd like to take you out to dinner on Saturday?" And do you ever say things like, "You know, I really enjoy spending time with you," or other things that would hint at your time together being more-than-friends?

 

If the chicks are just using you for your hospitality, that's pretty suck. But it could be that they're just not sure what's going on in your mind.

[paddington bear]

And girls get confused, and sometimes act on the side of "this is probably just friendly" as a self-defense mechanism..

 

I think that's more like it. That and the fact that some girls are not so nice and want the ego-boost of a guy they know who likes them hanging around. Then there are the nice girls who carry on acting friendly to a guy they know likes them, in their minds it would be mean to drop him just because they don't want to go out with him, thus leading to confusion for the guy.

 

When you say 'knowing you want to be more than friends' do you mean that you or the guy in question would have actually said words to that effect or that they should pick up on the signals? I think if you want to be more than friends you have to do something (make a move) or say something (I'd like to be more than friends), if she doesn't reciprocate, it is wise to walk away from the friendship offered as a replacement for what you really want.

[JadedHeart]

Thank you Paddington Bear and whyyesthankyou for your great insight once again.

 

No the person in question is not me, yet I have a feeling it might be very soon.

 

I suppose maybe I have been too subtle with the clues even though it may evident on my side of the fence. Thanks guys, I'll try to be a bit more non subtle about my feelings now.

 

I miss the days where you could just tell the person how you felt without being worried about being seen needy or desperate, or once you let them know then game is over and they lose interest.

 

Although in my mind I've probably already made up my mind to move on, since this is the same girl about my previous post multi dating.

 

Anyways I will use this as a learning experience, thank you once again paddington bear and whyyesthankyou. Don't worry I'll have more questions in the future and would appreciate it if you guys responded again! I really enjoy both your comments!

[Chicago_Guy]

I think that's more like it. That and the fact that some girls are not so nice and want the ego-boost of a guy they know who likes them hanging around. Then there are the nice girls who carry on acting friendly to a guy they know likes them, in their minds it would be mean to drop him just because they don't want to go out with him, thus leading to confusion for the guy.

 

When you say 'knowing you want to be more than friends' do you mean that you or the guy in question would have actually said words to that effect or that they should pick up on the signals? I think if you want to be more than friends you have to do something (make a move) or say something (I'd like to be more than friends), if she doesn't reciprocate, it is wise to walk away from the friendship offered as a replacement for what you really want.

 

That's a very warped way of putting it. Any girl who isn't interested in a guy, yet accepts dates knowing that the guy likes her and thinks that they are dates is either very immature or not nice at all.

[JadedHeart]

That's a very warped way of putting it. Any girl who isn't interested in a guy, yet accepts dates knowing that the guy likes her and thinks that they are dates is either very immature or not nice at all.

 

Oh trust me buddy they know it's a date, but they put it under the pretext of hanging out, or eating with just a friend.

[BobSacamento]

Well perhaps you did something on the date that totally turned her off so she decided not to go any further?